


Sins of our fathers-sequel to Cherokee Rose (Please read Cherokee Rose first or you will be lost)

by Gothika_Studios



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: AMC, Daryl - Freeform, F/M, Norman - Freeform, Norman Reedus - Freeform, daryl dixon - Freeform, twd, walking dead - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-16 00:21:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 62,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10560228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothika_Studios/pseuds/Gothika_Studios
Summary: Still grieving over the loss of his wife, Daryl finds comfort in their children but still can't ignore the call of the road at times. Getting a new lead on recruits Daryl and Aaron investigate finding a woman named River that could mean either life or death for Daryl.





	1. Home Again

Daryl stared into his glass of brown liquid, slowly taking a drag on his smoke. Whiskey wasn't doing it tonight, he could still see her when he closed his eyes. Rubbing his forehead with his fingers he let the haunting begin. It had been six months since her death and it still felt as fresh as the day she died. Most of the time he was pretty good at shutting down his feelings...but at night, when the world is quiet and sleeping, she would creep back into his thoughts. Most nights he could chase her away by drinking a bottle of anything but on nights like tonight, there was no hiding from her memory.

Guilt ate him up like locusts on a farmer's crop. She had asked him to take care of their children...and he had failed her there just like with everything else. He had been back to Alexandria a few times to check in, but he was gone just as soon as he got there. He knew Rick was fed up with him, but staying there meant confronting his shattered soul and he just couldn't.

"Looks like you were wrong old man" Daryl said in his head "I'm exactly like you. A drunk, a shitty father...just an all around asshole"

Daryl tossed back his drink and knocked on the wooden counter for another. They had pretty much rebuilt the Kingdom the way it had been before and Daryl made sure the bar was one of the first things built.

A voluptuous woman sauntered over and refilled his drink with a smile.

"You needin' any company tonight Daryl?" she flirted

Daryl shook his head staring into his glass

The woman sighed

"Alright...but one of these nights you're going to take me up on my offer...just you wait and see" she smiled

The offer made Daryl sick to his stomach. Not that he found her that unattractive it was just the thought of touching or being with another woman made his stomach churn. Taking a long drink from his glass, the hair on the back of his neck stood up as he heard his name being called.

"Daryl?"

Daryl turned around slowly and nodded with a half smile

"Hey Aaron, come grab a stool, I'll get you a drink"

Aaron walked over, shaking his head.

"No thanks... Daryl, you need to come back to Alexandria with me now..."

Daryl looked at him feeling the familiar sting of fear in his heart.

"What's going on?" he asked softly.

Aaron stared at the ground then finally looked at Daryl again

"There's been an accident. It's Hunter. Rick needs you to come home"

Daryl sat there numb

"Is he dead?" he whispered

Aaron shook his head

"No, but he might need blood and none of us match. Doc thought you would be the best bet"  
Daryl nodded and quickly headed for the door.

"I brought a truck so we can bring your bike"

Daryl shook his head and climbed on his motorcycle.

"I can get there faster on this. I'll see you there" and fired up the bike and was off before Aaron could protest.

Daryl flew through the night praying the entire way. "I know I deserve this for abandoning them when they needed me the most. Please God, punish me do something to me but not my son...he's good and kind and doesn't deserve this...please."

Daryl drove straight through the night finally pulling up to Alexandria's gate as they opened quickly, Daryl rode through straight to Rick's. Jumping off and running inside, Daryl came to a halt running into Rick with his hands up

"Whoa" he whispered "Slow down"

Daryl felt like punching him in the face

"Get out of my way Rick" he grumbled

Rick shook his head

"Daryl, you're going to listen to me first. Hunter is stable now and sleeping...so there's no rush but I gotta know before you go in there, how long you planning on staying this time?"

Daryl stared at Rick unable to answer

Rick continued

"I can't watch that boy fall apart again Daryl...every time you show up and then leave, it makes it that much harder on him. He tries so hard to be like you, to be brave and to take care of his brother and sister. He waited for you to teach him to ride that dirt bike. I think he wanted to know how so if he needed, he could go look for you...anyway he didn't want to wait anymore, he tried riding it by himself and best we can figure, he lost control and was thrown. His head hit a rock or something and was out there...we're not sure for how long. He had lost a lot of blood and we weren't sure if we would need some for him so I sent Aaron to find you. He's OK now...not completely out of the woods but he's stable enough he won't need blood."

Daryl stared at the floor feeling his heart in his throat. Rick's voice dropped to barely above a whisper.

"He keeps asking for you, you're the one he wants and needs...but if you can't stay long enough to help him heal both physically and mentally, then you should leave now. He doesn't need another broken heart to go along with his broken body"

Daryl nodded, still unable to speak. Walking past Rick he stopped and stared at the stairs leading up to his son, then at the front door.

Taking the stairs two at a time, Daryl looked in each room until he found Hunter sleeping in a large bed. Walking over to him Daryl stared down at his sleeping son. Daryl felt a pain in his heart as he looked at his bandaged head. Hunter's eyes fluttered open staring at him.

"Dad?"

Daryl smiled sitting down on the bed

"Hey there buddy" he whispered

Hunter tried to sit up but Daryl stopped him.

"Easy lil' D...lay back, I'll come to you" Daryl said, laying down on the bed next to his son. Daryl felt a familiar pain in his heart as he felt his son put his arm around his neck. Six months ago this pain had been unbearable...it still hurt but instead of the all consuming pain worse than any lashing he had ever had, it was now more like a dull ache. Maybe he could stay awhile. Daryl looked down as he felt his son pull away.

"I'm going to be OK now dad, you can go" Hunter whispered in a shaky voice.

Daryl stared at his son for a minute and then spoke softly.

"I'd like to stay, if that's alright with you. I know I haven't been around much since...but I still love you lil' D"

Hunter was quiet for a moment then crossed his arms over his chest

"Nobody calls me lil' D anymore" Hunter said matter of fact.

"Why?" Daryl asked softly again

Hunter was quiet for a moment but answered with a quivering voice

"Because I'm not like you anymore. I don't leave, I stay. I take care of Cheri and little Logan. I'm here when they need me"

Daryl's heart broke all over again staring at his little boy. He had been so wrong in what he did...how he left them...he could understand if they never forgave him. He had to try though, had to at least try to make Hunter understand. Daryl nodded and spoke.

"I get it...you have every right. I haven't been a good dad at all lately. I know there's no excuse... but when your mom..." Daryl swallowed hard "when your mom died, I figured all my love died with her. Lil'...sorry..Hunter...before your mom...I didn't know how to love...I really didn't. That man you met in that bad place. He was my dad and he didn't believe in love, he believed in beating you and that was it. Then I met your mom...did I ever tell you how I met her?"

Hunter shook his head staring at his dad. Daryl continued

"She lived at Hilltop, her and Sid. I saw her one day taking a bucket into a barn and I wanted to see what she was feeding so I followed her. I saw Sid and couldn't believe how big he was...then I watched her as she climbed the old rotten ladder and I just knew it would break...and it did. I ran to catch her when she fell I caught her but we both ended up on the ground. When she opened her eyes and looked at me for the first time, I knew then what love could feel like". Daryl couldn't help it as the tears rolled down his cheeks as he continued.

"I didn't want to feel it, I fought hard against it...I was mean to her...I pushed her away, she had every right not to ever speak to me again, but she did. She never gave up on me, even when I gave up on myself. She showed me I could love and that I wasn't broken...but when she died, I figured all the love I had died with her...I know now I was wrong Hunter. When Aaron found me and told me you were hurt...I knew then how wrong I had been. It's still true, your mom did show me how to love...but I know now that I can still love without her because I love you Hunter. I love you and Cheri."

Hunter stared at him and asked quietly

"And Logan?"

Daryl felt his heart pain again but nodded.

"Yeah, Logan too"

The room was quiet for awhile until Hunter spoke again

"So...you're gonna stay?"

Daryl nodded

"I'm gonna try...after all someone has to teach you to ride that bike...speaking of which, why weren't you wearing your helmet?"

Hunter was quiet a moment and then said

"I was mad at you and didn't want to wear the angel wings like yours"

Daryl nodded...he had really done some damage. Hunter continued

"It's OK if you still want to call me lil' D"

Daryl smiled and kissed the top of Hunter's head watching his son settle his head in the crook of his shoulder. Daryl sighed and closed his eyes. He hadn't spoke of Raven since her death and even though it was one of the most painful things he had ever felt, a peace came over him like part of a weight lifting off his shoulders. He knew he would always feel the loss and ache with her memory but talking about the good he had with her had helped...even if it was just a little.

Daryl's eyes blinked open to the sun filled room and smiled at his still sleeping son. Easing his arm out from under him, Daryl turned and was staring into a pair of blue eyes so much like his own.

"Hi daddy" Cheri whispered

Daryl smiled sitting up, putting his feet on the floor.

"Morning sweetheart" he whispered back kissing her on her cheek giving her a hug as he sat her on his lap.

"Is D OK?". she whispered again

Daryl nodded

"Yeah...he's still hurt but he's gonna be OK. Daddy's gonna make sure he is"

Daryl felt a lump grow in his throat again as his sweet baby girl wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you daddy...I love you" she whispered

"I love you too princess" he hoarsely whispered.

"I feel a lot better today Dad, maybe we could go fishin'"

Daryl turned and grinned at his son.

"We will lil' D I promise, but doc has to say it's OK first and I kind of doubt it's going to be today. I'm not going anywhere...we'll have plenty of time to fish. Right now I need to go find Uncle Rick and talk to him. Hunter you need anything?"

The door creaked open and Daryl grinned at Michonne's smiling face.

"Hey stranger" she said softly

Daryl sat Cheri back on the floor standing up giving Michonne a hug

"Hey" he whispered softly

"You going to be with us for a little while?" quietly asked Michonne

Daryl nodded

"Yeah...I need to talk to Rick though. He down stairs?"

Michonne nodded then turned to Hunter

"Would you be interested in some breakfast?

Daryl listened to his kids talk to Michonne about breakfast as he walked down the steps. Looking in each room, Daryl entered the kitchen and then stopped, looking at the baby in the highchair being fed by Rick.

Pain shot through him like a red hot knife in butter and he almost turned and left until the little boy looked at him. They locked eyes and it was all Daryl could do not to fall to his knees...looking into his eyes was just like looking into hers. He looked a lot like Hunter at that age, but his eyes...they haunted him to the core. He could barely breathe or think but then was snapped out of his trance when Michonne and Cheri and the girls Katie and Molly came in behind him.

"Your son has ordered pancakes for breakfast" Michonne smiled "I'd say he's feeling better" her smile quickly faded when she looked at the shaken Daryl.

"Rick" Michonne said softly

Rick turned, looking at Michonne then at Daryl.

"Here, let me finishing feeding him" Michonne said softly. "You and Daryl go talk"  
Daryl turned and walked quickly from the room as Rick gave Michonne a look of concern then followed him out. Rick found Daryl standing on the front porch, staring off into space.

"Morning brother" Rick said quietly

Daryl nodded, still finding it difficult to talk.

"So...you gonna stay awhile?" asked Rick

Daryl nodded, finally being able to breathe again

"Yeah...but we're gonna need a place to stay. I...I can't go back to our old house"  
Rick nodded

"Yeah...I get that. Maggie and Glenn's old house is empty, they went back to Hilltop after everything. It has a bedroom for each of the kids plus one for you and it has an office we can turn into a nursery for Logan" Rick said softly looking at his friend.  
Daryl looked at Rick and then at the ground.

"Na, just me, Hunter and Cheri will be fine"

Rick started

"Daryl...he's your son too"

Daryl felt tears threaten and nodded

"I know Rick, but right now... I just can't. I know it's wrong but I need to just do it this way for now. Just let me get settled with Hunter and Cheri and then we'll deal with the baby"

Rick thought for a moment. Daryl was finally staying in one spot for more than a few hours...it was a start.

"Alright then...we'll make it work. Michonne likes having a baby around anyway, which is good because we'll be having one of our own soon enough" Rick couldn't help but grin.

Daryl smiled softly and gave Rick a one armed hug for congratulations.

"Alright I gotta go see a certain horse who's probably looking for some sugar cubes"

Daryl walked off the porch making his way to the stable. Slowing as he passed their old house, he couldn't help but stare at it and think about the last time he had been inside. Feeling a his heart pound and his head a bit dizzy, Daryl picked up his pace with his head down and pushed on to the barn. Turning the corner he heard Sid give a soft neigh as he smiled at the giant horse.

"Hey there big guy" Daryl said stroking his large head

Sid ate the sugar and nudged Daryl's pocket for more. Daryl laughed and reached in his pocket when he was suddenly overwhelmed by sadness. Daryl's shoulder's shook with grief as he buried his face in Sid's neck whispering

"I miss her so much"

Daryl felt Sid's large head rest over his shoulder as if he was in complete agreement. Finally collecting himself he patted Sid on the neck stepping back.

"I'll be back later tonight to check in on you. See you later" Daryl said leaving the stable.

After moving all their stuff for the past few days into their new place, Daryl looked around at their new home. It would work...they could be happy here. Daryl had sat Cheri and Hunter down and tried to explain to them why Logan was still with Uncle Rick...he told them he didn't know much about babies and that since babies really need a mom, Michonne could do better than him right now. He hated lying to them, he had barely missed 5 minutes of either one of their lives as babies and could change a diaper as good as anybody...but how could he tell them that every time he looked at Logan he wanted to crawl into a hole and die because of how much he reminded him of their mom? Sometimes a lie isn't such a bad thing.

For the next few years the Dixon's slipped into a quiet, peaceful life. Hunter learned to ride his dirt bike and Cheri was wild and free as ever and it was all Daryl could do to keep up with her. He eventually became better with Logan and moved him into the house when Rick and Michonne's little boy came into the world but he still couldn't help the emotional wall that went up when Logan tried to get close to him. He had went back to recruiting for Alexandria with Aaron...he couldn't lie. It did his soul good to get out from behind the walls for a week or so a month. He loved taking care of his kids and having a home with them but he still needed that little bit of freedom that he sometimes used to go visit a certain place and sit by a stream next to her.

"Hey Daryl" Aaron said walking up to him as he worked on his bike

Daryl turned and nodded

"Yeah" he yelled back

"I got a lead on some possible new recruits. I got news their camp was hit by a herd and they lost a lot of people. Some of them used to be in Negan's group I guess but they're in trouble and could use some help. We'll probably be gone a couple of weeks...three at the most. You in?"

Daryl thought a moment then nodded slowly.

"Yeah, but I'll have to tell my kids and make arrangements with Rick and Michonne...when you want to leave?"

"I was thinking in the morning. That too soon?" questioned Aaron.  
Daryl shook his head

"Na, that's fine. I'll see you then"

There were complaints all around when Daryl announced his departure over dinner.

"C'mon dad...I'm old enough, just let us stay home and I'll watch out for Cheri and Logan" Complained Hunter

Daryl looked at his son and was still amazed how much he looked like him. He was 12 now, going on 42. He was probably more responsible now than he ever was a day in his life...he was a lot like Raven that way...he could probably even keep his hell on wheels sister under control, and Logan...well most times you really didn't notice he was around from how quiet he was.

"I know lil' D and I have no doubt you could, but I think maybe Auntie Mich would be a little hurt if you guys didn't come stay with her and Uncle Rick. Besides Auntie Mich said your cousin Devon gets excited when you stay there, he likes hanging out with you guys, especially Logan since they're close to the same age"

Daryl looked at Logan and gave him a small smile. He looked so much like Hunter at that age until he turned his big green eyes to look at him. Daryl couldn't help the ache that passed through his heart.

"Fine" Hunter scowled. "But just so you know, when I'm old enough, I'm going to start going on runs with you"

Daryl grinned.

"That I have no doubts about and it will be a good day when we get to ride together"

Daryl and Aaron hit the road the next morning but not without a tearful goodbye. Hunter and Cheri had hung on him, not wanting him to go but as usual Logan stood back. He felt so much guilt when it came to him, he could barely stand it. He motioned for him to come and give him a hug, and he did. Daryl hugged him and almost broke down as his face turned up towards his. He really didn't know if there would ever be a time where he didn't want to cry when he looked at him.

Pushing those thoughts from his mind to think about another time, Daryl watched as Aaron guided their vehicle up a steep and winding road. They were deep in the mountains and he hoped this lead did indeed pan out. Arriving at a makeshift gate that looked to have been bashed in recently. Aaron whistled and after a few minutes a few faces appeared.

"Hi...I'm Aaron, this is my friend Daryl...we're from a settlement called Alexandria. We heard you had some trouble and we're here to help. We brought food, medicine and Daryl here can fix anything with or without a motor."

A tall man stepped out and nodded.

"I'm Grant, this is Tony and she's River pointing to a woman that stood and glared at them the entire time. There's a more inside but there's not a lot of us left. We'll move the gate, come on inside"

Daryl watched as they struggled to move the broken gate and jumped out of the vehicle deciding to help. First thing was first...he'd have to fix that gate.

Aaron and Daryl walked inside the main building of the compound to survey what needed to be done first as the trio at the gate watched them go.

"I'm glad they're here...this is going to help so many of us" said Grant while Tony nodded.

"What were their names again?" asked River

Grant thought a moment

"The clean cut one was Aaron I think and the biker looking guy was Daryl"

"That's what I thought" she gritted through her teeth.

"Why?" Grant asked confused

River tossed her honey colored hair and narrowed her silver wolf like eyes staring where Daryl and his infamous angel wings had walked into the building.

"Because that's the asshole that killed my father, and now I'm going to kill him"


	2. Bitter Memories

River kicked her worn out combat boots up in the opposite chair, crossing her arms across her chest, glaring at Daryl's back. It's too bad I can't shoot real daggers from my eyes she mused. I'd shoot him in the back in a heartbeat. It was making her sick watching the women here fawn all over Daryl and his buddy, like they were some sort of gift from the heavens. He was nothing but a disgusting dirt bag and she couldn't wait to drive her knife into the base of his skull.

The first time she had laid eyes on him was about 15 years ago, she had been 12 years old. She and her dad had been living in Woodbury Georgia with the Governor for a few weeks. She had told her father it was a bad place and they needed to leave, but he had been a stupid man, a weak man. He wanted to stay so he could go back to doing what he did best...drink and ignore her. She had told her father that the Governor wasn't who he pretended to be and had told him about everything she noticed. Her father had laughed and called her a busybody telling her to stop and mind her own business. He called her that often because of her propensity to notice everything. He hated it even though it had saved his life on a few occasions.

They had been called to the town square to watch a death fight between two brothers. She had begged her father not to go, she knew it wouldn't end well but he had insisted on going and dragged her along, telling her she needed to watch and to toughen up. First came out Merle Dixon, one of the Governor's soldiers who had a blade that replaced his missing hand. Then they brought Daryl out. She had felt bad for him, he had looked scared and confused. Watching them for awhile she knew they wouldn't fight to the death, she could tell by the way they looked at each other that they would eventually turn the fight on the town. When they did, she tried everything to get her father to leave, but he was drunk and enjoying the mayhem. She watched as he picked up a gun, something he had never done before. and she knew he would never shoot it, he didn't know how. He never even got the chance to raise and aim it because Daryl Dixon put a bullet right between his eyes before he could. She knew he wasn't much of a man but he was all she had in the world and now he was gone.

She had stood there staring at her father and then looked up into the eyes of the man that had killed him. He had looked at her and at first she thought he would be shooting her too but he gave her a funny look and then ran away with his brother and his friends. Watching the town completely come a part, she knew she had to get out of there. Running home and grabbing the bag she had kept packed, she slipped between the walls during all the chaos and ran for her life.

She had drifted from group to group for a couple of years. It was easy finding people to take her in because of her age, but as soon as she felt trouble or things began to fall apart...which they always did... she'd move on to the next. She finally came across a group that seemed to have a plan, or a mission. They had heard of settlements popping up in Virginia and were going to head there so she decided anything had to be better than Georgia so she went with them. She had never been so wrong. They ended up with people that called themselves The Saviors... they were anything but. They were vile and cruel and the worst one of them all was Negan, a man she was forced to called her husband at the tender age of 14. She had seen things and had things done to her...brutal things...that she would probably never recover from. The thought of a man touching her made her want to throw up to this very day.

That was the second time she had seen Daryl Dixon. Negan was taking a new wife, a pretty dark haired girl. River was glad there would be a new one and had hoped it would make him leave her alone for awhile. River watched as the dark haired girl looked to the trees, so she looked and then saw him. She hadn't been sad that he had killed Negan by shooting an arrow into his skull, if it had been anyone else she would have been grateful. But it was his fault she was there in the first place. If he had never killed her father she probably would have never ended up there.

As his group invaded Negan's she did what she does best, she ran. She had drifted alone for a long time, not wanting to trust another group ever again but that's when she had ran into Grant. He and Tony had their own small camp, and at first she was petrified of them but he had eased her fears and had treated her like a grand daughter and she had been with them ever since. After hearing how Negan brutalized her, Grant thought it was fitting that she learn more than just running. He taught her to fight, using Tony as a sparring partner who she could now kick his ass in about 30 seconds. He had taught her to shoot both guns and bow and she was now a better shot than either one of them. Grant had said she was deadly, that she reminded him of one of those ninjas on the dragon movies. She had no idea what he was talking about, but she liked being thought of as deadly. True, she had a lot of deep, dark seeded anger but she had a target now and it was pointing directly at Daryl Dixon. She couldn't believe her luck as he rolled through their gates today. She would finally have her revenge.

Grant pulled the chair out, sending her boots to the floor. Looking away from her target she watched Grant sit down across from her.

"What's going on River?" he said softly

River glanced at Daryl's back and shrugged her shoulders

Grant sighed and leaned across the table.

"River, you need to get this out of your head. All this rage and revenge will get you killed. He's not the kind of guy you want to mess with. I know you feel big and bad because you can beat me and Tony, but we're nothing compared to him. Going after him will get you killed, he won't hesitate because you're a woman. He's had both men and women come after him and he's still standing"

River stared at his back again muttering

"Not for long"

Grant shook his head stroking his beard, but was distracted when Tony joined them. River slightly smiled. Tony was like her big brother...her big, over protective, goofy brother. He was tall and lanky and pretty uncoordinated. She supposed taking pride in beating him really wasn't saying much. A good stiff wind could probably knock him over too.

"Raging River, what's up my sista" Tony laughed

River couldn't help but grin, it was his favorite thing to do, say her name using different types of rivers. Kicking him under the table and watching him yelp, her grin grew a little bigger until a shadow fell across their table. River looked up into the eyes of the man she planned to kill. He looked back at her but then ignored her and her rage grew ten fold.

"Grant...can we talk to you for a minute?" Daryl said quietly

Unable to control herself River slammed her chair back up against the wall and stood up. They all stared at her in surprise but the only one she watched was him. Glaring into his eyes, she clenched her first. All she wanted to feel was his nose crunching beneath her punch. She heard Grant speak softly

"River..."

She knew it wasn't the time or place and her rage was getting the better of her. Taking a deep breath she looked at Grant giving him a short nod and stormed away. Daryl watched her leave and then turned to Grant completely confused.

"What the hell was that all about?" Daryl asked

Grant shook his head

"You don't even want to know. What can I help you guys with?"

Daryl shook off the girl's rudeness and continued

"We've drawn up some plans of what we would like to do to get this place turned around. Tomorrow I'm going to start on the gate and Aaron is going to set up a medical tent. Anyone that is sick or needs something can come see him."

Grant nodded

"Thank you Daryl, and you too Aaron. Tony and I will try and help you with the gate as best as we can".

Daryl nodded

"It's why we're here" he said quietly

Grant smiled and then forced a yawn

"Well gentleman I'm ready for my bed. There's a couple of rooms Matilda has set up for you on the other side of the building when you're ready to turn in. Come on Tony, help me check everything before I turn in"

Grant stood slowly as Tony came around to help him. Smiling at Daryl and Aaron he said

"These old bones ain't what they used to be" then wandered out of the room followed by Tony.

Daryl stretched out his legs and took another drink of his beer, picking at the label on the bottle.

"So what was up with that girl? " Aaron asked

Daryl shrugged. He had been thinking the exact same thing

"C'mon Daryl, no girl looks like they're going to murder you for no reason. Jilted lover maybe?"

Daryl thought about it and his many drunken nights since Raven's death but couldn't recall her from any of them. She wasn't exactly the type of girl that just blended in. If he had been with her, he would have remembered it. He shrugged again

"I really don't know. I've never seen her before in my life"

River lay in her bed fighting the tears that threatened to fall. She couldn't remember the last time she cried and she wouldn't start now. It was just so damn frustrating though! She didn't know what she had expected when he looked at her. Maybe some recognition? An apology? But he didn't remember, not in the least. True she had been only 12 years old and had changed quite a bit over the years, but you shouldn't forget what someone looks like when you murder their father right in front of them. If she could recognize him then he should have given her the same courtesy.

River punched her bed and kicked the wall. She was wired, she would never find sleep tonight. Deciding a run might soothe her raw nerves, she slipped off her hooded sweatshirt standing there in her cargo pant and tank top she laced back up her boots. Slipping her large knife in its sheath, she then pulled her honey colored hair into a fierce ponytail. She was feeling a little better already. Slipping out her door and then walking quietly through the main hall, for the first time in her life she missed something. She missed Daryl sitting in the shadows watching her slip out the door.

Curious to what she was doing, Daryl stood up and walked quietly to the door watching from the window as she scaled the tall fence easily and dropped on the other side. What the hell? He thought. It had to be past midnight and it was dangerous out there. Plus, anyone that was climbing fences in the dead of the night was usually up to no good. He should just let her go and go try and get some sleep, after all she had been a pretty rude earlier and she was none of his business. But the curiosity was nagging at him and he knew he wouldn't be getting much sleep anyway, he never did.

Walking outside Daryl scaled the fence as she did and dropped down on the other side. Looking around for a clue to where she went, he almost missed the dark entrance to a path. Seeing a clear footprint under the glow of his flashlight he turned it back off and slipped quietly into the woods. She was moving fast and he had to run pretty hard to catch up to her. Trying to stay silent while running this hard wasn't exactly easy. Finally coming to a clearing his heart fell seeing her being surrounded by walkers.

"Dammit" he muttered under his breath

She was putting up a fantastic fight seeing several bodies laying on the ground but they were closing in and there were still a lot more of them. Joining the fight, Daryl took out his knife and began plunging it into their skulls. They fought side by side for some time and oddly enough he hadn't felt more alive since Raven's death. He watched her fierceness and violent swings that matched his own and became enthralled at the bloodbath. Plunging his knife into the last skull he looked around at the bodies. They had to have killed at least two dozen, maybe more. Mesmerized by the death scene Daryl didn't see the right hook coming at his jaw until it was too late.

"Ow! What the hell!?" he stared at her.

She was on him again with her knife drawn and he had to dodge when she swiped. She was seriously starting to piss him off. Lunging at him again, he kicked the knife out of her hand and tossed her to the ground. Walking over, he picked up the knife staring at her.

"What the hell is your problem? I just saved your life and you're coming at me?"

River stood up with her chest heaving and her hair completely disheveled from her ponytail she gritted through her teeth

"You did NOT save my life, I had it!"

Daryl stared at her, she looked like a wild animal caught in a trap...a dangerous wild animal.  
Deciding it was probably better not to push her any further he backed off.

"You did look like you had a pretty good handle on it, but I couldn't let you have all the fun" he joked quietly

Her rage grew even more and he was at a loss. He had never seen anyone look at him with that much hate. Not even his old man.

"How dare you joke with me you stupid lowlife bastard, I hate your rotten guts" she spit out.

Daryl was now fully pissed and finally had enough.

"Listen you psycho, I don't even know you...I'm not who you think I am. I've never seen you before in my life"

Daryl watched a flash of hurt pass over her eyes but it was quickly replaced by her anger again.

"Well I've seen you before...you and your brother Merle" she said as she stomped by.  
Daryl was too stunned to speak.

"Give me my knife" she demanded holding out her hand

Daryl came to his senses and shook his head.

"Yeah...I don't think so. I'll just hang on to it for safe keeping for now"

River glared at him again and pushed past him running back into the woods.

Daryl stood there more confused than ever. She had known Merle too...that means she had to come from Georgia. Georgia and Merle were forever and a day ago. She couldn't have been anything more than a young kid back then, hell even he was kind of a kid at age 19. But he and Merle would have never messed with no kid. They were thieves and derelicts but they hadn't been monsters.

Shaking his head he began making his way back through the woods thinking about what had just happened. He knew he should just forget it, but it bothered him that someone hated him that much and he didn't know why. He knew he would eventually get to the bottom of things, that was who he was, he needed to know...but he couldn't help worry what he would find once he figured it out.

River stood in her room, staring out the window. How could she have been so stupid? She had all but given him a road map to her plan on killing him. Grant had been right, he had brushed her off like some annoying mosquito. She knew she could fight so much better then that but she let her emotions cloud everything she had planned. The worst part though was that he HAD saved her life. When she hit the clearing, she saw several of the dead standing there and she had thought about running but needing to work out some of her rage she began fighting them. It was fine at first but then more and more started coming and had her surrounded. She had fought for all she was worth and was just about ready to give up until help arrived. At first she thought it was Tony but whoever was standing next to her was a master with a blade and that was certainly not Tony. She still hadn't realized who had rescued her until they were all dead and she turned to look at him standing there staring at the bodies. Unable to take the humiliation of him helping her, she snapped. She couldn't believe she had given herself away like that, even mentioning Merle.

Flopping on her bed she stared at the ceiling. Her body was exhausted but her mind wouldn't turn off. It was times like these she wished she could be more like her father and dive into a bottle so she wouldn't feel all this pain anymore. She had made herself a promise a long time ago that she would never do that...but tonight would have been a good night to break that promise. River finally drifted off to sleep recognizing the same nightmare that like clockwork that invaded her dreams.

River stared at her breakfast unable to eat. She hadn't had a drop of alcohol but she felt like she had the world's worst hangover. After only getting a couple hours of sleep, her eyes and head now ached along with the rest of her body. She had seen the dark circles under her eyes as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail. This revenge stuff just might be the death of her yet. Knee deep in her misery she jumped when her knife clanged on the table in front of her. Glancing up at his hair covered eyes, she stared back at the table and her knife.

"Figured you might be needing that back, you know in case you decide to go on any more late night runs" Daryl mumbled staring at her

River didn't move or say a word. She just stared at her knife sitting there by her plate. She knew he was trying to bait her...but she was not going to bite.

Grant walked to the table looking at the standoff between Daryl and River. Daryl looked pissed and River...guilty. Oh no, what had she done now?

"Good morning everyone" Grant smiled brightly

Daryl nodded at him finally taking his attention off River and turned and walked away. Grant sat down heavily staring at River and sighed looking at her knife.

"What did you do River?" he said with worry

River stared at the table and shook her head

"Nothing" she whispered

Grant stared at her for awhile then began to speak quietly.

"Whatever happened River, you're lucky you're still alive. Obviously you must have pulled your knife on him and he took it away from you like I said he would. I want you to promise me to stay away from him. Don't push your luck...please" he implored her.

River looked at him and then her knife and nodded. She would stay away from him for now...but this was far from over. She would kill him, one way or another. Standing up, slipping her knife back where it belonged River walked away slipping outside.

Grant rubbed his temples...he knew this was far from over. He couldn't help the internal struggle with his loyalty for the girl he now considered his family and her misguided feelings over killing Daryl Dixon. If she pushed him hard enough, he would defend himself and he knew it was a real possibility he would lose her. Making the only decision that made sense, Grant stood up and went in search of Daryl. He had to tell him exactly what he would be dealing with when it came to her. He knew she would be furious and would probably never forgive him, but she had come to mean so much to him and he had to at least try to save her life.


	3. Bad Intentions

Daryl stared up at the damaged gate with his hands on his hips. It had been damaged badly, but he was close to getting it somewhat back to the shape it had been. The frame was still a little bent though and wouldn't sit in the track correctly. Daryl turned and looked at the girl River's brother Tony. He was doing his best to help but he was a bit of a string bean and his upper body strength was lacking. He had thought about asking him what the hell was up with his psychotic sister but he decided against it. The last thing he needed was drama and she was a giant red balloon of rage and drama that he wasn't about to pop by caring about why she was so angry.

He had to admit he was still a little curious about the whole Merle connection but he decided it wasn't worth it. Merle was gone and whatever it was, had happened a long time ago and she needed to get over it. Too bad she's such a nut job he thought…. she's a helluva fighter and would have been a good recruit to bring back to Alexandria.

Feeling the sweat trickle down his chest standing in the hot sun, Daryl decided to take a break and get some water.

"Take a break Tony, get some water and grab some shade" Daryl called.

Tony nodded and sat down under the tree next to the gate pulling out his bottle of water. Daryl walked over to the rain barrel dunking his sun soaked head flipping his hair back as he pulled his head back out. Enjoying a long cool drink, Daryl spied Grant standing by the gate talking to Tony. He watched as Grant looked at the gate and began to grab hold.

"Grant!" he yelled

"Grant!! It's not on the tracks yet, leave it alone!"

Grant finally looked at him but it was too late. Daryl watched in horror as the gate came slamming down on Grant. Running as fast as he could he got to him and lifted the gate up while Tony drug his broken body out from under it. Kneeling next to him Grant stared at Daryl trying to breathe from his crushed chest. Trying to talk, Daryl hushed him and screamed for Aaron. Grant shook his head, motioning for Daryl to come closer. Daryl leaned in hearing him whisper

"Forgive her Daryl, she's broken"

Daryl sat back and watched the light leave out of the old man's eyes. He was gone.

Daryl heard a shriek from behind him and he knew immediately who it was. Standing up he put her hands up to stop her. Stopping she stared at Grant's body then at him.

"You did this!!!" she screamed

Daryl put his hands up as she produced a gun. He had nothing to defend himself, he had been working on the gate all morning and hadn't needed anything. Daryl watched as the gun shook in her hands and tears streamed down her face. Part of him wanted to try and grab it but she was so unstable at the moment he wasn't sure it was a good idea. Surprised he stepped back as  
Tony stepped in front of him.

"River..." Tony said calmly "don't do this. It wasn't his fault, he was over there when it happened.

We both told him it wasn't on the track and to leave it alone but he thought he could fix it"

"Get out of my way Tony" she said near hysterics

Tony took a step forward and put his hand on the gun.

"No River...I know you, you don't want to do this"

Tony stepped closer and cradled the gun, slipping it out of her hands. Everybody breathed a sigh of relief and Daryl watched as Aaron dropped his own gun that he had pointed at River's head.

Daryl stared at her as she stared at Grant's body. He expected more tears and some hysterics but she did the opposite. Her tears dried up while she shut down and turned to walk away. This was not good...especially if she was as broken as Grant had said. Great.....Daryl thought. Just what he needed, an emotionally deranged girl who now had an even bigger reason to hate him. Daryl stared at Tony and offered his condolences. Tony nodded and Daryl could tell he was trying to hold back the tears and be a man about it.

"C'mon" Daryl said softly "I'll help you bury your Grandpa"

Tony nodded and followed Daryl out carrying shovels.

Daryl and Tony stood there silently staring at the mound of dirt. Daryl wasn't sure what to say.

"Sorry man" he said softly "I didn't know him that well, but he seemed like a good guy"  
Tony nodded his head

"He was. He saved my life a few times, and then when we found River...I think he saved her too"

Daryl stared at him for a moment.

"River isn't your sister?"

Tony shook his head

"Na, none of us were related...by blood anyway. Grant found me trapped right after the turn and saved me. We kept our camp small because all the large ones seem to have all the problems." Daryl nodded, he certainly understood that logic. "Anyway, we came across River sleeping in an old abandoned car and she was hurt. She was only like 15 or 16 but I could tell she had been through some pretty rough stuff. She didn't trust us at first and I thought for sure she would slit our throats while we slept". Daryl nodded again...he could really understand why they would think that. Tony continued "but not Grant. He wouldn't give up on her and kept trying until she finally came around and let us help her. Then that was that, instant family"

Daryl nodded again. He totally got that too. Same had happened with Rick and Michonne and the others. Daryl thought about River being on her own that young and kind of understood how that could be so damaged, hell even he had Merle when everything happened so he was never really totally alone. Daryl couldn't resist asking him more questions to try and figure out just where she was coming from.

"So she'd been on her own since like 15?"

Tony shook his head

"Na man, she was a lot younger than that. I think Grant said she was like 12 when her dad was killed and they were like in Georgia or something. He said after that she floated from group to group and then found one heading for this area so she tagged along. Ended up real bad for her though...ended up with the saviors...I'm sure you heard of them" Daryl nodded and couldn't help clenching his jaw "anyway Negan made her his wife". Daryl turned and stared at Tony as he finished by whispering

"She was only 14".

Daryl was reeling. She had been on her own since she was 12? That was the same age Hunter was now. He couldn't imagine Hunter out there on his own with nobody there to help him. He would probably be able to survive because he knew how to fish and hunt but considering all the messed up people that was still around, not to mention the dead ones? No wonder she was so damaged. He still didn't understand where he fit into all of this but he did feel kind of bad for her even though she'd tried to kill him twice now. Daryl gently slapped Tony on the back and nodded then turned and left to find Aaron.

River lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Part of her wanted to cry but she just couldn't. Today when she saw Grant that was the first time she had shed tears in a long time but now the well was dry and she was just left feeling empty. She also didn't understand why she couldn't pull the trigger today. She had him dead to rights and unarmed but she couldn't do it. She would never get another chance like that again. She didn't know why she couldn't.... it was the one thing she wanted most in this world and she had failed. She wouldn't get another chance and he would be gone soon. River sighed, she supposed she would be moving on as well. With Grant gone, she really didn't have a reason to stay. She had Tony but she knew he was just starting a new thing with Melissa and she couldn't ask him to give that up just to follow her around in the woods. She was better on her own anyway...she'd leave tonight after saying goodbye to Grant.

Daryl stared at his half eaten burger as Aaron lost his mind

"Are you kidding me Daryl? Are you crazy? Would you really want your kids around someone like her?"

Daryl thought for a minute and rubbed his face with his hands.

"No...I dunno. I mean if she taught my daughter to fight like she does then I would be OK with that. I know she's unstable but it’s not like I'd ask her to babysit or something."

Aaron shook his head

"Well I think you're nuts for even considering it. Not to mention the fact she'd probably rather slit your throat than go anywhere with you"

Daryl nodded. That was true. He could ask her but her going was a totally different animal.

"Yeah I know. I don't know, maybe I'm betting on her saying no and if she does then that will be the end of it, but I still can't help but feel somewhat responsible for who she is today." Daryl continued to tell Aaron more about what Tony had told him about what had happened to her.

"The only thing I can't figure out is how I fit in to all of this. She mentioned my brother Merle by name too, so I know there's something there"

Aaron nodded slowly

"Well that would explain why she's bat crap crazy….but still, I don't know Daryl......It's your call"

Daryl stared at his meal again. He was hoping Aaron would talk some sense into him but he wasn't much help. Out of the corner of his eye he turned and saw Tony and River talking. Tony looked upset and she had a backpack with her. He watched them hug and then watch her walk across the room and out the door. Looking at Aaron he pushed back his chair and headed for the door.

Looking at the fence and gate, she wasn't there. No way she could get up and over that fast he thought. Thinking for a minute, he walked behind the building where they had buried Grant. Seeing her dark figure kneeling next to his grave, he stayed back to give her some privacy. After a few minutes Daryl watched her as she stood and stared at the grave again, then turned and began to walk towards him. He didn't mean to startle her, but it was exactly what he did when he stepped out of the shadows. He watched her grab her knife, pointing it at him...shit.

"Hey" Daryl said softly "I come in peace" holding his hands up

River was glaring at him, he could tell even in the dark.

"Why are you always following me?" she demanded still holding the knife towards him

That was a good question....one he really didn't have an answer for.

"I wasn't following you...not exactly. I saw you with a bag and it looked like you were saying goodbye to Tony, so I thought...I mean if you want to leave I have sort of a proposal for you"

River stared at him for a moment, sighed and put her knife back in its sheath.

"Just leave me alone" she muttered pushing past him.

"You're not going to make it" he called "Not alone at least"

River stopped but only offered her back.

Daryl continued

"Like that night in the woods...there's always going to be more of them than of us. Nobody can fight them all alone...believe me I've tried"

River's shoulders were rigid and he could tell she was getting more and more agitated.

"Do you have a point?" she gritted through her teeth.

"Yeah I do" answered Daryl softly "I want you to come back to Alexandria with me...with us, Aaron and I"

River whirled around looking at him like he had three heads.

"Why would I go anywhere with you and why would you want me to?! I've already tried to kill you"

Daryl nodded adding "twice"

River stared at him again narrowing her eyes. What was he up to?

"Look" Daryl continued "You're one of the best fighters I've ever seen, at least when you're not trying to fight me and that's the type of people we want to bring back with us. We want a strong capable group that can take on anyone, walker or not. You'd have your own home, a job, training with specialty weapons and be able to come and go as you please....not like Negan's." he said softly.

Confusion then anger passed over her features.

"What do you know about Negan's?" she demanded again

Daryl knew it had been a mistake bringing it up. He shrugged his shoulders trying to smooth things over.

"Not much...Grant said you were there for awhile and I knew Negan and what a first class asshole he was. I was the one that killed him"

River stared at the ground

"I know" she said quietly.

Daryl stared at her. How could she know that? Unless she had been there when Raven….  
The memory ate at him and caused a sharp pain across his chest. Clearing his throat he continued.

“Anyway, it’s a good place. I think you would do well there.”

River stared at him again and then spoke.

“You still haven’t said why. Why would you want me there when you know the only thing I want is you dead.”

It was Daryl’s turn to stare at her. He was going to play the only card he had left.

“Because you owe me, I saved your life. I have three small children at home and it’s my job to make sure that I have the best protection I can find to keep them safe. You’re one of the best I’ve seen and it’s my job to recruit people like you.”

He stared at her again, he could tell she was thinking…so he continued.

“You don’t have to decide right now…we’re leaving in the morning. If you want to try this then be by the front gate at 7am. If we don’t see you then we’ll know your choice. I’m not going to force to do this, but I think it would be a mistake if you don’t. Up to you though…” and with that Daryl turned and walked away.

Back in the building Daryl stood leaning against the wall, staring out the window having his last smoke for the night. He caught sight of a small figure at the fence and his heart sunk a little as he watched her as she threw her bag over the top and shimmied up then over.

“Idiot” he muttered

He knew part of him wanted to go after her and shake some sense into her but a bigger part was glad just to be done with it. He had offered her an alternative, she had declined and that was that. He still didn’t understand why it pissed him off so bad though.  
“I need a drink” he sighed and turned to go in search of something that would help him sleep.

River sat at on the bank of a small stream. It had been her favorite spot since they had come there and was a place she could clear her mind and think. She still didn’t understand why he would ask her to go. He knew full well she wanted him dead but he asked her anyway…why? She was a good fighter, she knew that…but good fighter or not you don’t want someone around you or your kids that wants you dead. Then she started thinking about his kids….weird. He didn’t look like someone that would have kids….I wonder why he didn’t mention their mom she thought.

Then it hit her. Maybe she didn’t have to kill him…maybe she’d kill one of his kids instead and let him hurt the same way she had. That might work out even better. It certainly wouldn’t be hard if they’re little like he said. River lay back staring at the stars. Yep…this just might work out even better than she had planned.

Daryl checked all their bags they had sitting in the main lobby of the building and then said his goodbyes to all the people there. Seeing Tony he shook his hand.

“Hey man, take care…that gate is back on its hinges and should work OK now.” Producing a map Daryl laid it on the table and pointed at an area. “Here’s where Alexandria is. If you have any trouble or need to find us, this is where we are.”

Tony nodded staring at the map.

Picking up their bags, heading for the door Daryl was stunned looking at River sitting on the hood of their car. Aaron looked at him and rolled his eyes, lifting up the trunk lid. Daryl didn’t say a word and neither did she. He held out his hand and she handed him her bag and watched as he tossed it too in the trunk.

Getting in the car, Daryl stopped and looked at her.

“You ride up front with Aaron.”

She nodded and slipped into the front seat.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew he had to always keep an eye on her and wasn’t about to let her sit behind him. Sighing he couldn’t help but feel that he had probably just made the biggest mistake of his life.


	4. Inner Rage

Aaron drove the car as all three sat silently, each lost in their own wold. River pressed her forehead against the passenger side window letting the cool glass comfort her aching head. She didn't know what she was doing here. She knew what her plan was but the anxiety of joining a new group made her head hurt and her heart pound in her chest. She knew what Daryl had said, but she had been given a similar story from the saviors and look how that turned out. Her nerves were so raw she just about jumped out of her skin when Aaron spoke.

"Damn" Aaron said quietly as they all looked at the swarm of walkers that blocked the road. He continued

"Alright, I'll turn us around and find another..."

Aaron stared as River opened the door and began walking towards the dead.

"Daryl, you better..." Aaron turned around and watched as Daryl too was out of the car walking towards the moaning mass.

Aaron started to get out of the car but became mesmerized watching the two fight the dead. All he could think of was poetry in motion. Daryl wasn't kidding when he said she could fight. The rage on her face was clear but her cuts and hacks were cool and calculated. Aaron looked at Daryl as he matched her slice for slice and he swore he saw a smile on his face...what the...he was enjoying himself?

River and Daryl fought back to back, yelling alerts to each other when they would spot one entering a blind spot. River felt all her pent up anxiety release as she chopped and hacked her way through the dead. She hadn't expected him to join her but was kind of glad he did. There were more here than she had realized.

"Watch out on your left Raven" Daryl yelled

River almost stopped to look at him but turned and got the one that had been getting close.

Looking around at their massacre, River and Daryl eyed each other then Daryl gave her a nod.

"We should probably clear some of these bodies off the road" he said as River nodded back.  
Aaron eased the car through the path that Daryl and River made moving the bodies. Once it was through, both got back in the car to a very angry Aaron.

"Do you both have a death wish?" he vented "That was completely unnecessary!"

River went back to staring out the window ignoring him as Daryl rested his head on the back of the seat. Sighing he mumbled

"Road was blocked, now it's clear. Let's go"

Aaron glared at him through the rear view mirror still complaining

"You both stink like death...roll down your windows"

Daryl obliged letting the cool breeze blow across his face. River pressed her head against the cool glass ignoring them both. She did feel a little better, but the anxiety of the unknown about her new home was still there. Trying to get her mind off of it, she began thinking about the battle they were just in. Why had Daryl called her Raven? She supposed it could have been a slip of the tongue it was similar to her name, but it just felt strange like he thought he was with someone else. The more I'm with this man, the more I really don't like him she thought.

Daryl closed his eyes feeling the wind ruffle his hair. He knew Aaron had been right, it was a stupid move but he couldn't help how great it felt. It was such a rush being surrounded by that many dead ones and do nothing but kill. He didn't have to think or feel, he was free. Having someone who felt the same way and could kill every bit as good as he could was just a bonus. It was no wonder she didn't mind taking on herds, this feeling was kind of addicting. Opening his eyes he looked at her with her head pressed against the glass. He knew she was worried about Alexandria...he probably would be too if he was her. She really didn't know them and they could be another group like the saviors for all she knew. He didn't know why but it was suddenly important for him to ease her worries.

"Hey" he said softly

"Hey River" he tried again

Slowly she turned her head to stare at him.

"It's going to be OK" he said quietly.

River glared daggers from her eyes and turned to face the front. Daryl rubbed his forehead and couldn't help thinking why do I even bother?

River's heart beat faster and her mouth was dry as Aaron pulled the car behind the gates of Alexandria. She watched as several people came out of their homes and waved to Aaron and Daryl. Daryl jumped out of the car and she saw three little kids run towards him. The two bigger ones hung on him as he gripped them in bear hugs while the little one stood back and watched. River slipped out of the car becoming a little curious. Why would he ignore the youngest one? River then saw their eyes meet but all Daryl did was ruffle his hair. Wow...what a dick she thought.

Daryl looked over at River and felt a little bad. She looked alone and miserable but he knew if he invited her over she'd either ignore him or give him a dirty look...or probably both. Walking back to the car with his little ducks following him, Daryl raised the trunk grabbing their gear. Handing River her bag he motioned with his head for her to follow. All three of his kids looked at her and he could tell right away Hunter was smitten. Lovely. Must be her ode de walker perfume or maybe the blood and guts on her clothes...that was right up his alley. Herding his kids away he began walking to Ricks as she followed a few feet behind.

Daryl grinned as Michonne came down the stairs giving him a hug. Rick smiled and slapped his back while holding their son Devon.

"Good to see you brother" Rick smiled. "Your trip successful?" he asked glancing at River.

Daryl shrugged then nodded.

"Not bad, we got a new recruit. Rick, Michonne...this is River"

River stared at them, not batting an eye. Michonne smiled softly and said

"Looks like you've been through a war. Come on inside, I'll show you where you can clean up"  
River looked at her then at Daryl deciding it wasn't a such bad idea and followed her inside.  
Rick looked at him with eyebrows raised

"Care to explain this one?"

Daryl groaned then sighed

"Not really. Let's just say she's a little damaged"

"A little?" Aaron interrupted "she tried to kill him...twice"

Rick stared at Daryl and he could tell there was a lot more there but figured that conversation would be better private.

"Twice?" Rick questioned "Ah hell, I've tried to kill him more then that in less than an hour"

Daryl grinned while Aaron rolled his eyes

"Fine" Aaron said "but don't blame me when she goes loco on your ass" he said staring at Daryl. "Alright I'm going to go see Eric, see you guys later" Rick and Daryl both nodded and told him goodbye.

Rick stared at Daryl as he watched him chew on a fingernail.

"So what's up Daryl?" he asked quietly

Daryl stared off into the distance then finally looked at him.

"Well...Aaron didn't lie, she's pretty unstable. One hell of a fighter though. I saw her almost take down an entire pack of walkers. I helped some but she had most of it already taken care of"

Rick nodded

"And the killing you part?"

Daryl sighed again

"I dunno man, she blames me for something that happened to her when she was little. We haven't gotten into what it was exactly but it had to do with me and Merle. She ended up out on the road on her own at 12 years old...was married to Negan at 14."

Rick looked at Daryl in horror. Daryl nodded.

"Like I said, she's pretty damaged but if we can work with her I think she could be a pretty good asset. You gotta see her fight man, never seen anything like it. Even with you or Michonne"  
Rick nodded again

"Alright, well show her to the recruit house..."

"That's another thing" Daryl interrupted "I kind of told her already she could have her own place"  
Rick looked at him in surprise

"She just needs to feel that she can come and go as she pleases. I think with the whole Negan thing one of the things she's afraid of is this place being like that one. My old place is still empty. She'd be alright there"

Rick stared at Daryl for quite awhile then finally nodded.

"Alright...on one condition though. You tell me the truth. Why? If this girl is as crazy as you think she is why would you risk you children...our children around her?"

Daryl looked him in the eye

"Because she didn't pull the trigger. I was unarmed and she had a gun...if she really wanted me dead, she would have done it. This guy Grant looked after her, but there was an accident with the gate and he died. Before he died he told me to forgive her because she was broken. I've been there Rick, I know what it feels like to be broken."

Rick nodded, he got it.

"Alright then...she's your responsibility"

Daryl nodded back but he couldn't help but worry what he was getting himself into.

"Come on in...Michonne made enough spaghetti to feed a small army"

River stared at herself in the mirror while she washed the blood from her cheek and neck. Slipping off her pants and sweatshirt she piled them in the floor. More clothes ruined...if she kept this up she'd have to start fighting in her underwear. Slipping on a clean pair of jeans she looked in her bag at her tops. Part of her wanted to put on another sweatshirt but it was a warm night and she hated the thought of wearing one just to cover up her arm. Looking down at the pink floral tattoo that wrapped its way around her bicep and trailed down her forearm it made her stomach turn. She hated looking at it but it wasn't like it was going away. She knew there would be looks and questions but she was tired of caring what people thought about it. Taking her hair out of the tight ponytail, she felt instant relief for her throbbing temples. Brushing her long hair out she stood again looking in the mirror. Dark circles under her eyes made her look sickly...sickly, sad and angry. Yep that was her alright. Sighing she picked up her ruined clothes, dumping them in the trash and tying the bag. Here goes nothing she thought.

Slipping down the stairs she stood back watching everyone sit and eat at the dining room table. The way they laughed and joked with each other made her feel completely out of place. This was a mistake she thought and started to turn and go until she realized Michonne was standing there.

"Come on, I saved you a seat." she smiled and ushered her to the table.

River sat down and for a few seconds everyone was quiet. She didn't dare look at any of them, if she did something quite rude would probably come out of her mouth. Staring at her plate, she took a small bite...heaven. She began to eat, listening to them talk still keeping her eyes down until a small hand touched her arm. She looked into the eyes of a dark haired little girl and knew immediately she was Daryl's. It was uncanny how much her eyes looked like his. She looked to be 8 or 9 and obviously had no fear of strangers. She watched as she looked at her tattooed arm.

"That's really pretty" she said softly "Where did you get it?"

River couldn't help feel the sting of her words, calling it pretty. To her it was just as ugly as any scar.

"A man" River said quietly "A man that liked to brand his women"

Everyone at the table was silent.

"What do you mean?"

River stared into her blue innocent eyes and told her

"He called it my badge of honor...each flower represents every time he brutalized me"

"OK!" Michonne interrupted "Who's ready for dessert? I made apple pie!"

Distracted all the kids jumped up and yelled "Me!" following Michonne into the kitchen.  
River looked at Daryl and Rick staring at her and couldn't deal with being here anymore. Pushing her chair back she quickly walked from the room, picking up her bag on the way out. Standing on the porch she was shaking and didn't know which way to run.

"Hey" said Daryl behind her.

Great.

Watching him walk down the steps he said softly

"C'mon, I'll show you your place"

River paused watching him walk away not sure what to do. Stopping he turned back and looked at her

"You coming or what?"

Reluctantly she walked down the steps and followed behind. Daryl took her to a smaller house on the other side of the town. Opening the front door he hesitated before stepping in. River couldn't help to wonder what that was all about. Walking past him she stood in the middle of the room, looking around while Daryl stayed by the door.

"This place used to be mine" he said quietly "before the kids and everything...bathroom and bedroom are in there. I'll see to having some food sent here tomorrow"

River stared at him not sure what to say except leave.

Daryl turned to go then stopped, looking at her again.

"Was that true? About your arm?" he asked quietly.

River felt like she was completely exposed. She nodded and said bitterly

"It's not exactly something I would want to make up"

Daryl was quiet for a bit then nodded.

"Alright, well get some rest...I'll see you tomorrow" and slipped out the door.

Daryl started back thinking about what she said and all the small flowers she had tattooed on her arm. He realized then he didn't have one clue what she had been through. She was actually a lot more normal than she had any right to be. It was amazing that she was even still alive. He wasn't sure he would have been able to deal with something like that. Rubbing his face with his hands he couldn't help mumbling

"I need a drink...or a fight"

The next morning River folded her blanket she had used on the couch and walked into the bathroom, staring at the shower. Part of her wanted so badly to use it but she knew once she started getting used to these luxuries the harder it would be to leave. Washing herself from the sink, she did feel better than the day before. She had actually gotten a few hours of sleep and now being clean...it kind of eased some of her anxiety. Staring out the kitchen window, River watched as the little boy who Daryl ignored yesterday, walked past with a bucket. Seeing him turn and go towards what looked to be a barn, River's curiosity was piqued. Slipping out the door she followed him, wanting to see what he was feeding.

River walked into the stable quietly and was shocked at the horse she saw standing there nuzzling the little boy. He had to be the biggest horse she had ever seen. River continued to stay back and watch and couldn't help but feel something seeing how the boy and horse interacted. The boy was young, maybe 5 or 6? and it was clear the horse adored him. She watched as the horse tugged on his shirt playfully as he filled his trough up with food and listen to the boy giggle as the horse blew his breath on top of his head ruffling his hair. Wanting a better look, River stepped forward accidentally knocking over a shovel. She heard the horse give a warning neigh to the little boy as she picked up the shovel . Standing there she looked as both the little boy and horse stared at her.

"I'm sorry" she said quietly "I didn't mean to bother you"

The little boy stared at her for a moment then shook his head

"You didn't. You want to meet Sid?"

River did...she really did. Walking slowly to them, she was still in awe at the size of the horse.

"He's so big" she whispered

She heard the little boy giggle and say

"Yeah, his name is Sid...you can pet him if you want"

River nervously held out her hand as the horse gently neighed and pressed his large muzzle against her fingers. She looked down at the little boy as his beautiful green eyes smiled up at her. He looked just like Daryl except his eyes.

"I think he likes you" smiled the little boy and then continued "I'm Logan, Logan Dixon"

River nodded and said softly

"I'm River. You're Daryl's little boy?"

He gave her a funny look then looked down and nodded his head. She had made him feel bad and she didn't like it. Changing the subject she began asking him about the horse. He was all too happy to talk about him.

"So he's your horse?" she asked

A strange look came over his features as he shook his head.

"No..he was my mom's horse...but she died. I killed her"

River was stunned as the words came out of his mouth. She couldn't believe the burden this little guy was carrying around and was equally stunned that he had chosen a stranger to talk about it with.

"Why do you think that?" she asked softly

Logan stared at the horse petting him

"She died when she had me."

River stared at him for a minute then spoke quietly

"That doesn't mean you killed her. People die all the time because their bodies won't work right. It's really easy for someone's body not to work right when you're having a baby, it's not the baby's fault though, it's just something that happens"

River watched as the little boy thought about what she said then he spoke

"My dad blames me"

She could see how much it hurt him to say it and for some unknown reason it hurt her too.

"He doesn't" she said quietly "He's just confused"

He looked at her again and nodded. They were quiet for a moment until he spoke again.

"Could you not tell anybody I said that? I never told anyone before...I don't know why I told you"  
River looked at him and nodded.

"Your secret is safe with me" she whispered

The two went back to petting Sid and chatting about nothing when both of them jumped back as they heard a voice boom through the barn

"Get away from him!"

River and Logan turned to see Daryl standing at the entrance of the barn. River looked down at the little boy and felt kind of bad. She did have plans to hurt one of his kids, but after getting to know Logan, it certainly wouldn't be him. Daryl walked towards them.

"Sorry...it's just he can be temperamental and with his size he can be hard to control"

River stared at him stunned. He was more worried about her hurting the horse than his little boy? All the sorrow she had felt for Logan grew ten times. What an asshole Daryl was, and he still hadn't even looked at his son. Turning to walk away she stopped and turned back to Logan speaking to him.

"It was nice to meet you Logan, I think you're a pretty awesome kid. Thanks for being so nice to me...I'll see you around"

Pushing past Daryl she glared daggers at him again. He was just what she thought.

A total asshole.


	5. The Hunt

River stormed down the street, not sure where she was going or what she was going to do. Slowing she watched Michonne in front of her house stretching her muscles in running shoes and clothes. Trying not to be obvious about watching her, she walked by slowly hoping she would notice her and ask her over.

"Hey River"

River nodded, glad she had seen her. Walking over she watched her stretch some more.

"You going on a run?" River asked

Michonne nodded then looked at the girl wondering.

"Do you run?" Michonne asked

River almost laughed but decided against it. She already thought she was nuts, didn't need to prove it. She nodded

"Yeah"

Michonne stopped stretching and looked at her.

"You want to go with me?"

Now we're talking.

"I've been running outside the walls lately, I've worn a path that's been nice to run on. That OK with you?"

River nodded, she preferred it. Michonne looked at her clothes and boots.

"You want to change?"

River looked at her….where would she get running clothes and why would she want them? You don't stop to change your clothes and shoes if you're running from someone dead or alive.

"Na…I'm good" River said quietly.

The two women walked over to the opening gate and walked through.

"Ready?" Michonne said and then they were off jogging.

Michonne set an easy pace and River quickly became bored. Pushing ahead a little, she turned as Michonne stepped up and matched her. She pushed once more and again Michonne matched her. Now she was having fun. They were jogging at a blistering pace trying to outdo each other. Both women were breathing heavy and a sheen shown on their skin as they pounded the ground with their feet in the hot sun. River felt so alive…starting to push harder she watched at Michonne slowed up. Too bad for her she thought and started to go faster until Michonne stopped her.

"River wait!" Michonne called.

River sighed and stopped, walking back to her.

"What's wrong? You pull something?" River asked sarcastically

Michonne shook her head.

"No, but look"

River looked to where Michonne was pointing and saw a dozen or so walkers.

"We'll take a different way" she whispered

River got a dangerous glint in her eye

"I got this" she said quietly

Sprinting to where the dead ones were, Michonne screaming her name fell on deaf ears. River already had her knife out and had two of them down even before they could turn around. Stabbing and hacking she let all of her frustrations go and concentrated on making sure every single one of them no longer moved. Staring around at the pile of bodies, she smiled weakly at Michonne as she approached.

"Are you crazy?" Michonne asked.

River stared at her not saying a word.

"That was stupid River, you could have been killed. There was no reason to do that, we could have went a different way"

River was getting pissed. What was it with these people and just avoiding the dead ones? There IS no avoiding them. They are going to be everywhere you are. Finally River looked at her and said

"You mean to tell me you think it isn't a good thing that there are less of these things in the world? If you think not…then I'm not the one that's crazy"

Michonne stared at her dumbfounded and watched her walk back towards Alexandria's gates. Daryl had been right on two accounts. She was indeed a great fighter…but she was also dangerously unstable.

River walked back through the gate and almost ran smack dab into Daryl. Staring at her he saw the blood on her top and pants and immediately became angry.

"Where were you?" he yelled.

River blinked…what the hell?

"If it was any of your business, I'd tell you I went on a run with Michonne but it's not so I won't"

Daryl looked and watched Michonne walk through the gate, shaking her head at Daryl then walking towards her home. Staring at her again and the blood speckle on her face... he was still mad.

"A run? Really…what's that then?" He asked pointing to the blood on her pants.

River sighed.

"A road block I cleared….only Michonne wasn't too happy about it. What's with you people and not wanting to kill those things? I mean you seem to be OK with it, but everyone else just wants to avoid them. Why?"

Daryl couldn't answer her. He said the only thing he could think of.

"Well…you shouldn't put yourself in danger out there…not without backup anyway.."

River stared at him and at first was confused.

"But I had backup, Michonne…..Ohhhhh. You're not mad I fought those walkers, you're mad I did it without you."

Daryl couldn't help it as he felt his face flush and had to admit he had wished he would have been there.

River continued

"Quit acting like a jealous boyfriend Daryl. There's plenty more where they came from. Anytime you want to hunt, you just let me know"

Daryl watched her as she flipped her ponytail and marched away. Picking his jaw up off the ground he couldn't help but think, what in the hell did she mean by hunt?

Michonne stared out the window at Daryl and River's conversation. She could only imagine what was said between them after watching River go off in a huff. Shaking her head again she then smiled as Rick came up behind her.

"How was your run?" he asked

Michonne nodded and said quietly

"It was good"

Rick knew immediately there was something she wasn't telling him.

"Michonne?"

She sighed and rested her head on his chest speaking quietly

"River went with me…"

"And…" Rick said waiting

"Do you remember how I was when I first came to the prison?" She asked softly  
Rick nodded

"She's a lot like that. Maybe a bit worse because I think she enjoys killing walkers. But that's where she's at. We ran into a group of them and she took them all down."

Rick stepped back

"By herself?"

Michonne nodded

"Yes…there had to be a dozen or so. She didn't bat an eye…she just charged and started killing. I told her we could go a different way but she just went. Don't get me wrong, Daryl was right she really can fight…every bit as good as us, but she's reckless and dangerous. She's going to get herself, or somebody else killed."

Rick's temper flared as he walked away and went storming down the front steps.

Daryl watched as Rick came flying out of his house heading across town…oh shit. He knew exactly where he was going.

"Rick!" Daryl yelled

"RICK!"

Daryl had to run to catch up to him. Finally getting in front of him he put his hands up to stop him.

"Rick, come on…let me handle this. I know what she did and I already told her it was stupid and we don't do things like that here. She's new…she just didn't know. I promise it won't happen again."

Rick paced in his spot clenching his jaw.

"Daryl…that's the first and last time this happens. The next time she puts anyone in my family in danger I'll put a bullet between her eyes…got me? She's this close to being tossed out on her ass. You better get her under control Daryl or so help me…"

Daryl nodded and said softly

"I know…I got it….I'll talk to her again to make sure"

Daryl breathed a sigh of relief as Rick turned to walk back home. Disaster averted. Worse case was getting Rick and River in the same room with both of them pissed off. Talk about a time bomb. Both of them were stubborn as mules and were quick to anger. If he hadn't stopped him, one of them wouldn't have come out of that house alive.

Daryl stared in the direction of the house she was staying in and thought a minute. He told her he'd drop off some food today…..maybe he'd go to the pantry and get some and try to talk to her again and to figure out what she meant by hunt. He had to admit, she had his full attention with that comment

Daryl started to open the door but thought better of it and knocked softly. River opened the door and before she could protest Daryl pushed past her with the groceries taking them to the kitchen.

River stared at him, arms folded across her chest, waiting for the lecture to start again. Watching him put the groceries away she could tell he had something on his mind.

"Just spit it out will you?" River said impatiently

Daryl stared at her for a moment then went back to putting stuff away. Shrugging he said

"Rick's pretty pissed. Threatened to kick you out"

River rolled her eyes

"I really don't consider that a threat, that's fine, I'll pack my bag"

Daryl stared at her and she could tell he was getting frustrated with her. Good.

"River, will you just stop? I'm trying to help you here"

Now it was River's turn to be pissed

"Help me? What? Someone put you on psycho patrol? Listen here Daryl, you should try and fix your own situation with your son before you try and fix me. I. DON'T. NEED. YOUR. HELP."

Daryl sighed...this was not at all how he planned...and his son? What in the hell was she talking about?

"Listen" Daryl said "All I'm saying is that you need to pick and choose your battles. I understand you need to fight them...I get that...I really do. You just can't do it with people that don't want to live that life anymore like we do"

River's eyebrow raised...he said we...she stayed silent ...listening as he continued.

"I don't know...its just if you're going out there to fight, it's going to have to stay private...like only we know about it"

River stared at him hearing him say we again then said softly

"Are you saying you want to go with me to fight out there?"

Daryl stared out the window not being able to look at her. He felt ashamed wanting this but he did and it was all he could think about since she said it.

"What's the hunt?" he asked softly

River's heart pounded...she had never told anyone about this not even Grant or Tony. It was a private ritual she did and until now she didn't dare tell anyone. She knew she was crazy but saying it out loud would confirm it. She never even considered bringing someone else in...nobody else would have ever considered it and would have thought her completely mental for doing it.

"I can't explain it. I have to show you" was all she could offer.

Daryl stared at her knowing he shouldn't trust her...if he really thought about it he'd figured she's probably planning on getting him alone and sticking a knife in his skull. Truth is, even a fight with her would be better than nothing.

"Fine..when?"

River shrugged

"I just happen to be free tonight...how about you?"

Daryl looked at her and it was his turn to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, that's fine. Has to be late, after the kids are in bed. I have to tell Hunter something though, he knows immediately when I'm not there and would come looking for me in a heartbeat."

River thought a moment then said

"Tell him you're going on a run. It won't be a lie"

Daryl nodded and asked

"Where we meeting? At the gate?"

River stared at him

"Not if you want to keep this private. I walked the wall today and there's a spot near the barn by a large oak tree. I think it would be an easy climb there"

Daryl nodded again

"Fine...midnight?"

River nodded and then watched him walk out the door.

Daryl walked back home looking at the evening sky. He knew it was wrong but he couldn't help feel the excitement rush through his veins. He wanted to feel again the way he did when he fought with her before. Not feeling, not hurting, not thinking...just doing. Walking inside he was greeted by his kids...he loved them all but tonight, bedtime would not come soon enough.

Telling Hunter he had a lead on something he wanted to check on privately, he felt a pang of guilt as he accepted his dad's word without question. Making sure they were all sound asleep, Daryl slipped out of the house quickly and quietly and was on the move to the barn. Looking at her sitting in the tree, ready to scale the fence, his heart was already pounding with the adrenaline pumping through his veins. She didn't say a word as she began climbing up the fence, dropping to the other side. She waited for him as he climbed and then dropped down next to her.

River began in a brisk jog and Daryl followed suit winding their way through the thick forest. Daryl began to wonder where they were going until she stopped coming to a clearing. Looking around she looked at him and quietly said

"This will do...we need a lot of wood though...help me find some."

Daryl didn't question her, he just did as she asked. They gathered firewood quickly and quietly, stacking it in the center of the clearing. After they had quite a large pile, River produced a bottle of some type of liquid, pouring it on the wood. Daryl could smell the gasoline and his began pounding harder as she lit the match tossing it in the fuel covered wood. They both stepped back as the flames reached for the sky, the entire pile was engulfed. Taking something out of her pocket, sitting it on the ground it began to play music...loudly. River looked at Daryl whispering

"And now we wait"

Daryl watched her as she sat, staring into the fire.

"What if they don't come?" he asked

Looking up at him she said

"They always do"

Daryl stood there staring into the fire listening to the cracking and popping of the wood and the psychotic beat of the music that beat along with his heart....the anticipation was killing him. He needed this release now. Hearing a raspy moan approaching, River stood up looking at him.

"Time to party" she whispered.

Daryl and River stood side by side staring at the wall of walkers that came towards them. Swinging, slashing, kicking and punching they both fought for all they were worth. Daryl called to her as two came up on either side, ducking in between she came up and stabbed each one in the head while doing a leg sweep knocking the other down then plunging her knife deep into its skull. Getting a break in the action, she watched Daryl fight for a moment and a heat flush through her. She had to admit, he looked magnificent while fighting. Down to just a few Daryl called

"I got these last ones Raven"

River turned and looked at him, he had called her Raven again. Watching him finish off the last two River sat on the ground among the dead, staring into the dying embers of the fire. Daryl sat down next to her looking into the fire and then at her. Same as he, she was drenched in blood from head to toe and he couldn't fight his arousal. He knew he would never act on it but it was there in all of its primal fury...what's wrong with me? He thought as he looked away and stared back into the small fire. This is so messed up, but he couldn't get enough. He wanted to do this again...as soon as possible.

River stared into the fire unable to understand why she let the man she hated most on this earth share her most deepest, darkest secret and the only thing that brought her pleasure and peace. Starting to get up Daryl spoke.

"River...wait."

Sitting back down she looked at him.

He spoke quietly

"I'm probably going to ruin everything, but would you please tell me why you hate me? I don't doubt I or my brother did something awful, we were dicks back then, but I just...I just wish I knew what it was so maybe I could do something to show you that I'm sorry for whatever that is"

River looked at him then stared into the fire. She didn't speak for quite some time and he was about to give up on her saying anything until she spoke.

"You killed my father"

Daryl stared at her

"In front of me" she added.

He didn't know what to say...he just didn't remember. She continued

"We were in Woodbury with the Governor, I didn't want to stay there, I knew it was a bad place...and then he had"

"The fight" Daryl interrupted.

He remembered.

He remembered trying to get out and the man picking up a gun so he shot him before he could kill him...he then remembered seeing a young girl standing there looking at him like she didn't understand why.

"He had a gun River, I thought he was going to kill me." Was all he could say

River didn't look at him, she just stared into the coals.

"That was the first time he had ever picked up a gun." she whispered continuing "maybe if he hadn't been drunk he would have left it alone... I don't know. But that night...it changed my life forever...and not in a good way"

Daryl felt horrible. He knew it wasn't going to be a fairy tale but he did not expect something like this to be the reason.

"You have every right" he whispered "to hate me. I know sorry doesn't even begin to cover it...but I am"

River stood up and began walking as Daryl followed a few feet behind. She didn't want to hear anymore, she wasn't ready to stop hating him. She had held onto her hate for him so tightly for so long it had become like a security blanket. They walked back in silence until they reached the wall. River started to climb but Daryl stopped her.

"Wait" he whispered

River stopped and then turned looking at him.

"I think we need a better plan"

River rolled her eyes. The best part of this was not having a plan.

Daryl sighed

"Quit rolling your eyes at me and listen. If we get caught coming back in like this covered in blood and smelling like the dead, Rick will kick you out and have my head shrunk. Maybe I do need to see a shrink, but I don't want you to go. I think maybe we should pack a bag with fresh clothes to change into. There's a lake near here...we could wash off there and rinse out our fighting clothes. If we came back clean and someone saw, we could just say we went for a walk"

River stared at him and knew it was a good idea.

"You just want to see me naked" she quipped

Daryl stared at her stunned.

Rolling her eyes again she said

"Lighten up Dixon, it was a joke. I may not have a normal sense of humor but after killing those things it puts me in a good mood and I've been known to make a funny now and then."

She started to climb but he stopped her again grabbing her arm.

River looked at him, at first getting annoyed until he whispered

"When can we go again?"

River stared at him...he was as addicted as she was.


	6. Dark Secrets

River sat on her front stoop thinking about Daryl and their current situation. They had been out three times already and each time was more intense than the last. The size of the walker packs were about the same but the intensity of their killing was off the charts. She certainly wasn't complaining but it just felt like something was about to happen. The way he looked at her, she sometimes thought he'd like to do to her what he was doing to the dead ones.

Her thoughts were interrupted as the small boy Logan appeared, walking down the street carrying a fishing pole and tackle box. Looking over at her he smiled and waved and she couldn't help waving back. Logan turned and headed towards her still smiling, as she thought what a charming little thing he was. His dad could certainly use some lessons from him.

"Hi River" he smiled

His smile was infectious. River smiled back

"Hi Logan, whatcha got there? You going fishing?"

Logan nodded looking at his fishing pole

"Yep. There's a pond over by the south wall"

River nodded she had seen it before.

"You going by yourself?" she asked

Logan nodded losing some of his smile.

"Yeah, daddy and Hunter went squirrel hunting"

River looked at him for a moment and then asked softly

"Why didn't you go?"

Logan looked at the ground, twisting the toe of his shoe

"I don't like killing." he said softly. "Fishing is OK because they're just fish and they smell"

River couldn't help giggling. Logan's smile returned as River said

"You're right they are certainly stinky. Hey you want some company?"

Logan looked thrilled

"Sure! Do you fish?"

River smiled at him again. She remembered how much Grant loved fishing and how many times he made her sit with him while he tossed his line.

"I do, but I don't have a pole...it’s OK though, I can just sit with you if you don't mind"

Logan stared at her for a moment then said

"Watch my stuff, I'll be right back" and went running back from where he came.

River sat there checking out his tackle box and smiled seeing his little can of worms. About ten minutes later Logan came walking around the corner carrying another pole.

"This one is Cheri's but she hates fishing so it’s almost like new, you can use hers" he smiled

River smiled feeling happy she would be going with him. The two began walking and Logan chattered to her about all the fish he had caught before and River found his banter refreshing. She really did like this kid. Sitting on the pier River and Logan took off their shoes, as River let her toes dip in the cool water. She watched as Logan stayed back and began to wonder.

"Logan...do you know how to swim?"

Logan looked at her and shook his head.

"No...Hunter's a good swimmer though. Cheri too"

She could tell this bothered him. No doubt Daryl had taught the other two and once again neglected Logan. She could feel her heart hurt for him.

"Would you like to learn sometime?" she asked

Logan's eyes were wide and round while he nodded his head

"Yeah, that would be awesome" he whispered

River smiled at him

"Good, I'm an excellent swimmer and I can teach you. It's not hard, I promise. Soon you'll be swimming better than Hunter and Cheri. We can start tomorrow if you like"

Logan looked so happy she thought he would burst. Then without warning he became serious.

"Can we keep it a secret until I know how? I want to surprise my dad"

"Sure" River smiled but felt her heart ache for him again as she thought damn you Daryl and was instantly pissed at him all over again. How could he not see what he was doing to his son? He seriously needs his ass kicked she thought plopping her line in the water.

 

Daryl and Hunter took inventory of their kills and were pretty happy with how many they got.

"Alright lil' D clean 'em and hang 'em to dry. I'm going to check on your sister and brother."

Daryl walked in the house seeing Cheri, as usual working on her nails.

"Where's your brother?" Daryl asked her

"Fishing" Cheri said absentmindedly still working on her nails.

Daryl took a swig of water and thought. He didn't like Logan fishing alone...he hadn't gotten around to teaching him to swim and worried about him getting near the water.

"Alright, I'm going to go grab him. Cheri help Hunter"

"Ew! Dad! No!" he heard her yell as he was leaving. Chuckling he went looking for Logan.

Walking past River's place, he couldn't help to look to see if she was around and wondered if she would be up for a little fun later. Not seeing her he turned and started heading for the pond. Walking through the path to the pier, he slowed as he saw Logan and River sitting there fishing. He didn't know why but the simple sight of them touched his heart. He stood back and watched them for awhile, watching the easy way she laughed as Logan pulled a wiggling fish from the water. He had only ever seen her angry and it was nice seeing her like this. Stepping forward they both turned when they heard him. Logan was all smiles, yelling

"Dad! Look at all the fish I caught!"

Daryl smiled at him and nodded

"Wow that is a lot. Nice job!" he said ruffling his hair as his son smiled up at him. "You think we should make some of these for dinner?"

Logan nodded vigorously

"That would be great! Hey River, you want to have dinner with us?"

Daryl was a little stunned by his son's invitation to her, but he wasn't against the idea.

"Yeah River, what do you say? I think these might be pretty good on the grill"

River looked at Daryl and then Logan's pleading face and finally shrugged and said

"Why not"

Logan and River gathered their gear as Daryl grabbed the chain of fish and started heading back to the Dixon's. River started to roll her pants back down and put her boots back on but she decided against it because of how the earth felt good on her feet as they walked. Watching Daryl and the boys clean the fish and Cheri squeal in disgust as they gutted them, she couldn't help but laugh at the silliness. She was having a wonderful time until she heard a voice.

"Hey...what smells so good?"

Turning she looked at Aaron who's features became immediately dark looking at her.

"Oh...you have company" Aaron said.

"Hey Aaron, we got plenty...you hungry?"

Aaron shook his head.

"No thanks...just wanted to talk to you about a run. I can come back if you like"

Daryl looked at him curiously and said

"Na it's good. What's up?"

Aaron looked at River then nodded his head towards the other room

"You mind?"

Daryl looked at River then shook his head following Aaron

"Be right back guys" he said softly.

River couldn't help herself, quietly she stood up and went to the doorway to listen

"Seriously Daryl? I thought you said you didn't want her around your kids? What? Will she be babysitting next?"

Daryl sighed

"What is this about a run Aaron?

Aaron glared at him some more then finally began

"There have been reports about a group of men poaching camps and causing some trouble.

Rick thought we might take a look around and see if we can find out anything else"

Daryl nodded

"When?"

Aaron shrugged

"Whenever is good for you, you know when you're not too busy entertaining crazy"

Daryl had just about enough of Aaron's mouth and Aaron knew it by his glare.

"Alright, let me know soon" Aaron said as he walked out the door

Daryl ran his fingers through his hair. It wasn't fair how Aaron had talked about her. She had made progress and didn't deserve that. Walking back into the kitchen he looked at her as she stared off into space. She had heard.

Dammit.

"I'm starved...you guys about ready?"

River looked at him and stood up

"I'm going to go, I'm not really that hungry. You guys have a good dinner....I think I'm going to go out tonight" she said softly as she walked past Daryl and out the door.

Daryl stood there staring at the door. He wanted to go after her but he knew it would just make it worse. Maybe after their hunt tonight he'd talk to her and smooth things over. Sitting down to dinner he couldn't help but stay distracted.

Daryl walked by her place, looking in and knew she must be by the wall already, He was nervous but not really sure why. Spotting her, he crossed the yard and watched her climb up before he could reach her. Climbing himself, he dropped down but she was already walking away. He knew she was upset, and he didn't blame her...maybe once she wore off some of that anger he would be able to talk to her. Watching her light the fire, they stood in silence as they waited. Finally the moaning began as they took their places. Daryl felt the rush of the fight pumping through him but it was short lived as there had to be less than three dozen tonight. Once the last one was down, he wasn't nearly satisfied enough. Looking for more, he didn't see her punch coming until it hit him in the side of the head. In shock he stared at her.

"You're a dick!" she yelled

His heart was pounding, he needed more and her anger was feeding that need. He took a step towards her and she swung again but this time he ducked and tackled her to the ground. She rolled and kneed him in the stomach and punched him again. Scrambling to her feet, he grabbed her boot pulling her back on the ground. Controlling her kicks with his thighs, he straddled her grabbing her wrists, pinning them to the ground. They were both breathing heavy and the look on her face was pure fury. It was intoxicating. Unable to help himself he found his mouth on hers. At first her fight was renewed trying to get her arms free but it just made it more enjoyable for him. Feeling her arms relax a jolt shot through his body as he felt her slowly kiss him back. He was completely lost in this moment. It had been so long since he wanted someone this much. Sliding his hand on her stomach, she suddenly jerked away pushing him back. Standing up they stared at each other for a long time until finally she turned and walked away.

Daryl followed her but his body was still on fire. He hadn't had enough of fighting, he hadn't had enough of her. Standing by the lake they both took off their stained clothes rinsing off in the warm lake water. Noticing something on her shoulder he panicked

"River wait"

Taking his hand rubbing the water on it, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"What is it?" she whispered

"Nothing" he said quietly "I thought it was a scratch but it's nothing"

He watched as her skin began to react to his touch and he knew right then, she wanted him just as much as he did her. Pulling her to him he began to kiss her softly again, slipping his tongue in her mouth tasting her desire. As she ran her hands through his hair, his manhood began to ache from the want of her. Sliding his hand between her thighs, River jumped back startling him

"What's wrong?" he whispered hoarsely

She looked at him and for the first time he saw fear.

"River?'

She stared at the ground and then whispered

"It will hurt"

Daryl stared at her, realizing every time this had happened to her it had been violent and brutal.

Shaking his head he kissed her neck then her mouth

"No it won't. I'll make sure it doesn't and if for some reason it does, then I'll stop"

She still looked at him still unsure, but nodded. He knew she needed this release as much as he did...maybe even more.

Kissing her again, he caressed her stomach with his hand, trailing up her rib cage then over her breast, circling her nipple with his thumb and the replaced it with his tongue hearing her softly moan. Easing her back on the soft grass he kissed her deeply, gliding his fingers along her inner thigh then tracing along the top of her panties. Looking deep into her eyes, he slipped the undergarment off and the slid hand back to the heat between her thighs. Taking his thumb and rubbing her bud of desire he watched her eyes widen as he slipped a finger inside her. As her hips began meeting his thrusts with his finger his own desire was raging. He needed her now. Slipping his finger out, he slid himself inside her but didn't dare move. She felt so amazing he could explode at any second. Letting her get used to his girth, he began his strokes slow until he felt her desire let him slide deeper inside her. He prayed she wouldn’t ask him to stop because at this point he didn’t think he could. Her hips began to meet his and as he felt her insides explode around him he felt his own body finally achieve the sweet release he had been craving so badly.

They both sat on the bank dressing quietly. Quickly passion was replaced by guilt for Daryl. He didn't understand what he was doing and everything he had felt was just so confusing. River watched him dress and saw the scars on his back.

"What's that on your back?" she asked softly

Daryl looked over his shoulder at her, quiet for a moment then said

"My badge of honor"

River looked at him and nodded, completely understanding. He seemed ok but she could still tell that the guilt was eating him up and she wanted to help ease his mind, but she just wasn't sure how. Finally she spoke.

"Daryl...do you feel guilty about coming out here, killing walkers with me?"

Daryl looked at her and then said

"I used to, but no...not anymore"

River nodded

"Then you don't need to feel guilty about this. It's just sex. Your love for her is still intact and doesn't mean any less. It was just something you….we both needed. I didn't know it could be like that and I don't know…..thank you I guess? But just like with the walkers it can just stay out here. It can be just part of what we do and who we are out here. It doesn't have to mean anymore than that and it can remain to be just part of our dark world."

Daryl stared at her again. She always had a way of taking what bothered him and making it simple like a cut and dry fact making complete sense out of it. He needed that too. Giving her a half grin he said

"C'mon. I'll race ya"

They both took off running through the night and were out of breath and laughing by the time they got back to their climbing spot. Daryl stopped her before she began to climb.

"Hey" he said quietly

River turned to him wondering what it was

"Aaron was wrong...wrong for saying that today"

A dark cloud passed over her features. That's right, she was still supposed to be mad at him.

River looked at him she said.

"He wasn't wrong, you were entertaining crazy...I mean anyone doing what I do would have to be...right? I know I'm not right in the head...I mean what we do is sick, dark and twisted but it helps me take out my rage on something other than people and I have to get that rage out. I just didn't know there was someone else just as messed up as me....and you are Daryl. It's OK to be like that with me because I understand it, but if you want to pretend you're someone else with them....I get that too. Hell, I even get not defending me to your friends because they would probably then start questioning your sanity. But the not wanting me around your kids?...that one hurt. True I wanted to kill you, and I'm not going to lie, I even thought about hurting one of your kids to hurt you...but I know now I could never do that....but not wanting me around them? Especially all the damage you're doing when it comes to Logan? You're nothing but a hypocrite...or worse, a liar because I would never hurt him the way you do."

Daryl stared at her knowing she spoke the truth. He hated it but he couldn't deny it.

"Has he said something to you?" he whispered

River sighed. How could she do this without breaking Logan's confidence?

"He doesn't have to. I see it, everyone sees it. You blame him for her death. I'm just the only one that will call you out on your bullshit over it. The first time I saw you with your kids I knew it. You bear hugged the other two but Logan didn't rate anymore than a pat on the head. You need to do better with him. I don't want to have to blackmail you over this, but I will."

Daryl stared at her feeling his anger boil. If she even considered telling anyone about what they did out here..." River interrupted his thoughts speaking again.

"I won't come out here with you anymore...and don't fool yourself thinking that it's fine. You know as well as I do you need me out here just as I need you. Sure we fight fine on our own but when we're here together... it's the only time you haven't felt alone since you lost her."

Daryl stared at her stunned. She really did get it. River started up the wall but stopped.

"Logan wants me to teach him to swim. Do you have a problem with that?"

Daryl still unable to speak shook his head

"Good" she continued "He wants to surprise you. You better be surprised and you better be proud of him....I mean it"

Daryl nodded watching her climb the wall, disappearing over the top.

Daryl lay on the couch watching the tip of his cigarette glow as he took a drag, then staring at the ceiling thinking about everything she had said. She had been right about everything. He loved his kids, he loved his friends but nothing could fill the hole that Raven left when she died. He tried alcohol and even sometimes whores to fill it but he just remained empty until the first time he fought the dead with her on the way back to Alexandria. All his anger and rage over losing Raven was gone and he was whole again. It didn’t last, but at least he had some relief for awhile.

He enjoyed the fights immensely but there was still something missing, something he needed and he didn’t know what that was until what happened between them. The guilt at first killed him inside. Yes he had been with other women since her death but prostitutes mainly with zero connection emotionally. He was gratifying a need. He supposed this was sort of the same thing, only it was so much more than that. It was the connection to a soul he had been missing for the last 6 years. That connection just happened to be with an emotional damaged, deeply scared human being that was just like himself. That’s probably why they connected so quickly and completely.

She was right…all of this was so messed up. If anyone knew or found out….he couldn’t imagine what they would say or do. He had another secret though….one he had never told anyone about. He knew she wouldn’t judge him and that she would accept what he showed her…he knew he had to show her so she could tell him it was OK. He knew it was sick and twisted but she would make it so it wasn’t as bad as it felt.

Putting his smoke out he sighed and closed his eyes picturing everything thing that had happened. They would probably go again in a couple of days or so, but maybe instead of fighting, he’d take her to the place where he had his deepest, darkest most shameful secret.


	7. Kindred Spirits

River curled up in the easy chair, staring off into space. She couldn't stop thinking about last night. She was still dumbfounded with how her body had reacted to his. She remembered how some of the women at the other place had talked about sex and it always made her sick to her stomach…. but now she understood a little bit more of the appeal. The way he tasted and the feel of his skin, she couldn't help wonder at the warm feeling that came over her. They had just been out last night and she knew normally they would wait a day or two...but she would take out one hundred walkers if it meant doing again what they did last night. River about jumped out of her skin as a knock on the door sounded. With her heart pounding she thought maybe he was thinking about it too.

Cracking the door open she broke into a large smile

"Hello Logan" she grinned

Logan smiled at her but then was a little unsure.

"Um. Did you want to still um teach me to swim?" he asked, looking afraid she would say no.

"Absolutely" she smiled again "let me just change into some swimming shorts and T-shirt. Do you have a life vest or anything?" River asked

Logan nodded producing a little yellow swimming vest.

"Yeah, dad wants me to wear it if I'm near water" he said

River nodded and agreed "It a good idea. Some day you won't need it but until you're a strong swimmer it's a good idea. Be right back"

River walked into the next room and changed her clothes. She had gone "shopping" at the place next to the pantry and was happy to pick up some new clothes. She loved these little Jean shorts and tank top. It felt pretty good not to be dressed in long pants and shirt on such a warm day. Slipping her feet into a pair of flip flops she had snagged she was all set to go.

Logan and River walked to the pond with Logan chattering a mile a minute. She could tell he was really excited and it made her happy to be able to do this for him. Kicking off her flip flops River waded into the warm water. Turning to see Logan still standing on the sand she walked back to him

"Logan? Are you afraid of the water?"

Logan turned his big green eyes up at her and shrugged and said

"Not afraid really...I'm just not sure what to do"

River walked closer and held out her hand.

"Here, take my hand. I'll make sure nothing bad happens." she smiled

Logan timidly stepped forward and grabbed her hand slipping into the water. River kept her voice light and calm while she carried him deeper.

"OK, first we're going to work on floating"

River explained to him how to float and after a few attempts they both cheered as he was able to keep his little body from sinking.

"OK, now I'm going to teach you the easiest way to first how to swim. Have you ever seen a dog swim or any other animal? "

Logan thought a moment then nodded his head.

"Yeah, there used to be a dog around here and he loved to swim"

"OK good! You're going to swim just like that doggie. Pretend you're crawling around acting like that puppy, move your legs up and down and your arms like this"

River showed him and he tried as she kept a firm hand under him while he paddled. Practicing for about a half hour she was so proud of him, he was really getting the hang of it.  
Daryl sat tuning up his bike, talking to Hunter when a shadow cast over them. Looking up Daryl smiled

"What's up Mich?"

Michonne smiled at them both

"What are you boys up to?"

Hunter smiled

"Hi Auntie Mich. Dad and I are working on his bike, making sure it stays running good" he smiled again.

Michonne smiled and nodded then looked at Daryl.

"Hey, it's Devon's birthday tomorrow and he wanted all the kids to come over tonight and spend the night. He's in the basement now building massive blanket forts."  
Daryl chuckled and looked at Hunter

"What do you say? You think you could help build some blanket forts?".

Hunter grinned

"Heck yeah! Can I go over now?"

Daryl smiled at him

"Sure, but grab your sister and take her. I'll go get Logan"

Michonne looked at Daryl a little curious

"Where is Logan?" she asked

Daryl grinned

"Swimming lesson"

Michonne looked confused so Daryl explained.

"River and he have become kind of buddies and she promised to teach him"  
Daryl tried to ignore the look of concern on her face as she said

"Daryl..."

"Stop Michonne, it's fine. He likes her a lot and she likes him. Leave it alone, OK?"

Michonne stayed quiet and then finally nodded.

"Tell the kids to bring PJ's and their sleeping bags...see you later"

Daryl watched her go as his heart started pumping. This was perfect. The place he wanted to take her, they would have to leave early evening to get there and back before the next morning. If the kids were at Rick and Michonne's then they could go. Wiping his hands he took off for the pond.

Daryl watched his son wiggle in the water and had to smile, she had done it. Spotting him she waved. Walking over he smiled

"Wow Logan, you can swim!"

"Watch me dad! Watch me!" Logan yelled

"Hold on Logan" River said "Dad needs to get in the water so you can swim to him"

River stared at him with her hands on her hips. Daryl gave her one of his half smiles and reached talking his shirt off. Slipping off his jeans, standing there in his boxers she felt her cheeks flush. Watching him wade into the water, he whispered in her ear

"You just want to see me naked"

River rolled her eyes and he laughed and splashed her with the back of his hand.

"Alright bud, let's see what you got" Daryl grinned

River positioned Logan towards Daryl giving him a small push and the watched him wiggle and paddle towards his dad

"Hey!" Daryl yelled picking Logan up out of the water "Look at that, you did it!"

River felt her heart swell at the look on Logan's face. He was beyond thrilled and put his little arms around Daryl's neck and squeezed. River heard Daryl chuckle and saw him close his eyes as he hugged him back. She almost felt like an intruder. Looking at Logan Daryl asked him

"You want to swim back?"

Logan nodded vigorously and Daryl put him back in the water and gave him a little push. River giggled as he swam to her and she picked him up yelling

"Yay!"

Logan was on cloud nine but was starting to tire after a couple more trips between the two. Walking to the shore, Daryl was suddenly behind her, putting his hand on the small of her back. A thrill went through her and it was all she could do not to jump on him right then and there. Leaning down, Daryl whispered in her ear

"I need to talk to you in a bit"

River nodded still feeling a heat rise in her. What was wrong with her?

Daryl ran ahead and picked up a squealing Logan, putting him on his shoulders. She was so glad he had listened and taken her seriously. Turning back he looked at her and gave her a wink.

"See you later" and took off down the road with Logan.

River walked slowly towards her home. She had that really warm feeling again but she wasn't sure about all of this...not at all. Walking through the house she went straight into the shower to wash the pond water off and cool her jets. Getting dressed and sitting down brushing her hair out, looking up she was startled seeing Daryl standing there in the living room. So much for knocking she thought.

"Sorry...habit" he smiled weakly

"So hey...kids are going to Rick and Michonne's tonight for a birthday sleepover. You up to going out with me? I know we went last night but..."

"No, it's fine" she interrupted" Same time?"

Daryl shook his head

"How about now?"

River stared at him and then looked out the window at the early evening sky. She shrugged and softly said

"OK, let me change my clothes first"

Daryl shook his head again looking at her in her cute blue jeans and baby doll T-shirt

"You look fine...you won't need your bag either, just maybe a jacket. I have a little something different in mind for tonight. Give me about 20 minutes then meet me by the wall at our usual spot."

River nodded again still staring at him. What was he up to? Watching him walk out the door she groaned...20 minutes? Might as well be 20 hours. Time was going to drag especially since she was so curious to what this different thing was. Finally the wall clock ticked off 20 minutes she grabbed her short leather jacket and hit the door. Walking quickly to their usual meeting spot she tried not to smile when she saw him but she couldn't help how excited she was. Watching him climb the wall and then following suit, the two were so distracted by their new adventure, they both missed a third pair of eyes that watched them go up and over to the outside of the walls.

River dropped down and watched Daryl walk away several feet, moving some brush. A motorcycle? Oh wow, this WAS going to be different. Watching him push the bike down a path leading to a road, she could feel her heart pounding with excitement, she had never been on a motorcycle before. Daryl stopped on the road and then looked at her.

"Have you ridden before?"

River shook her head

Daryl gave her one of his half smiles

"Well then you're in for a treat, first time is always the best"

Daryl went on explaining when to lean, when not to lean and other riding etiquette.

"Most of all, hang on tight. Hop on"

River slid her leg over the bike easing herself onto the seat behind him as he fired up the bike. Not sure how tight she was supposed to hold on, she put her hands on either side of him nervously. She watched as Daryl grabbed her hands, pulling them both by his stomach so her arms were wrapped around him.

"Hold on" he yelled over the motor with a grin.

They were off like a rocket. River understood completely why he had wrapped her arms around him as they went screaming down the road. She was now hanging on for dear life. As scared as she was she also had never found anything so liberating, this could rival killing walkers! Feeling her hair blowing in the wind and the machine vibrate under her, all these new sensations just overwhelmed her. She had no idea all the things she had been missing in her life but now she had Daryl to thank for showing her all them. She was going to have to get her one of these as soon as possible, she couldn't imagine how much better it felt to drive one.  
They drove for a few hours and she was a bit sad as he slowed the bike then turned down a dirt road. Stopping the bike and turning it off, Daryl got off and she followed.

"It's just over this hill" Daryl said softly

River walked with him unbelievably curious. Coming over the hill, she looked down and saw a cabin centered in the valley below. Behind it ran a small stream with large trees here and there. It was beautiful. River looked at Daryl to ask him about it but he was completely changed. He looked grief stricken and in pain. He began walking down the hill and River followed him not at all sure why this place made him like that. Parking his bike, he began walking around to the back of the cabin where the stream was. Stopping suddenly he turned and looked at River.

"I've never shown anyone this before and nobody can ever know about it. I'm showing you because…because…I'm not really sure why. I guess because you shared something dark about you and now I need to do the same. I need you to tell me to stop coming here or this isn't right…or maybe I need you to tell me that it's OK….I just don't know"

River nodded, not saying a word. Daryl began walking again and stopped close to the stream standing under a large tree. River looked and could see that someone had been buried here….his wife. Looking around she was a bit shocked to see all these little items surrounding the tree and grave…he had made some kind of makeshift shrine. River looked at him but he was lost, somewhere else in thought.

"May I?" she whispered

Daryl nodded his head and watched her kneel down looking at everything. Pieces of wood, a ribbon, all kinds of odds and ends. River looked closely at a picture nailed to the tree and her breath caught. That was the pretty dark haired girl that had been at Negan's when she was there. He had killed Negan for her. River looked up at him and he nodded.

"That's Raven" he said quietly

River nodded

"I figured….I knew her. Well, not really knew her but she was at Negan's the same time I was…I remember her. She was very beautiful"

Daryl nodded and joined her on the ground.

"This wood here is from a broken ladder. It was the first time we met. She was climbing a ladder and it broke and I caught her when she fell"

River sat silently listening to him tell the history of each little piece. Going quiet, she looked at him and could tell he was struggling mightily with something.

"There's something else but I don't know if I can show you" he whispered

River sat there looking at everything.

"I can honestly tell you right now that I don't find anything wrong with any of this. If that's what you're worried about…you know me better than that…you know I would never judge you on anything…I mean I couldn't. Look at how I am, I'm the last person that could judge anyone."

Daryl stared at her for a moment then slowly reached for something behind the picture. Pulling out a bundle of long black hair, she knew immediately where it came from.

"This is her hair" he whispered "When I was burying her, I couldn't stand the thought of never being able to run my fingers through it anymore so I cut it and kept it like this." He said showing her the ponytail of hair.

River nodded then looked at him as he stared at the hair. Looking at her with pleading eyes he asked

"Is this sick, am I sick?"

River looked at him and then at everything else speaking quietly

"Daryl, my idea of sick is when people hurt or are ugly to other people on purpose. There's nothing here that hurts anyone else or hurts you. If you need this to have your connection to her, then keep it. The only thing I see her is love…I had no idea someone could love another person like this. It's really beautiful…sad but beautiful. This makes me wish I would have known her, she must have been amazing"

Daryl nodded and she could see he had tears leaking from his eyes. River continued

"Does this make you happy? Does it bring you peace being here?"

Daryl looked at her and said

"No…it doesn't. It makes everything a million times worse, it puts me through the most unbearable pain. I wish I could stop coming here because I know she's not here anymore but it's like I feel I deserve this and I should come here to make sure I don't forget…but every time I do, it rips me apart and I carry that around with me constantly. Sometimes it starts to ease up but I end up feeling so guilty that I have to come back here and start it all over again because I don't want to lose that connection."

River stared at the ground. Their pain was so different but the same. His was from love and hers from hate. Kindred fucking spirits she thought bitterly. She wished she could help him but she didn't even understand her own pain…if she could fix his, then she would have fixed her own a long time ago. Trying to find any words that would at least make sense to him she began.

"Daryl, I wish I could say something that would just make it magically OK but I can't. I understand what you're saying and I would probably do the same thing but there are some things I think you've overlooked. There's no way you would ever forget….not with having her children, especially Logan. I always thought he looked like you until I saw her picture. Your daughter too…I mean she has your eyes but she's going to grow up and look a lot like her mom. I also don't think that she would want you to hurt like this. If you had been the one that had died, would you have wanted her to be in this much pain over you?"

Daryl stared at her

"No" he said hoarsely "She would probably be devastated to see me like this"

"Then maybe you should keep that connection with her the way she would have wanted it. With your kids." River whispered.

They sat there for a long time lost in their own little worlds. River didn't understand love, she had never felt it or given it to anyone. True there was a lot she didn't understand about feelings and such…well most of them except hate. She understood hate really well. Daryl interrupted her thoughts.

"River…I want to bury these things. Will you help me?"

River nodded standing up looking again at all the items.

"Daryl, let me get a box or something to put them into. Just in case you change your mind so nothing will get ruined"

"OK but I can't go back in that house…"

River shook her head

"No, it's OK, I'll go look."

River ran inside the pretty cabin and found an old shoe box on a shelf. Emptying it, she took it back outside to find Daryl was close to having the hole dug. Placing in each item in the box with care, she stopped, picking up the picture. Looking at him she said

"Daryl, do you have other pictures of her?"

Daryl shook his head

"No, that's the only one."

River looked at it again.

"I don't think you should put this in here. I think maybe it should go home so you can share it with your kids. Hunter and Cheri may have forgotten what she looks like and Logan doesn't have any idea. I think it would be good for all of you."

Daryl stared at the picture for a moment then nodded. Placing the box in the hole he stood there for a moment staring at it. Taking the shovel he began throwing dirt until it was completely gone. They stood there for a little while longer until Daryl said

"Let's get out of here"

He walked quickly away as River followed him. Getting to the bike, he pushed it up the hill to the dirt road. Both of them got on the bike silently and when the engine roared to life she again wrapped her arms around him. Driving back River lay her cheek on his back holding him tight. He wasn't going as fast as they had came so it wasn't necessary but she just wanted to hug him and to tell him it was going to be OK. She felt him touch her hand with his and squeeze it as she hugged him tighter.

They drove like that for awhile until without warning Daryl slowed the bike then stopped. Turning it off and just sitting there River asked

"What's wrong?"

Daryl turned, picking her up sitting her in front of him facing the handle bars whispering behind her, in her ear

"I need you. Now."

A gasp caught in her throat as she felt Daryl masterfully yank her jeans down and push her onto the gas tank. Grasping her hair and pushing his entire length inside her River grasped the handlebars while he took her from behind. His strokes were intense and urgent and River could feel her body shake from the passion as he drove himself madly into her. She couldn't help to cry out as reached her very core causing her insides to pulsate around him. Spilling his seed quickly Daryl rested his forehead on her back trying to catch his breath. Sitting up Daryl wanted to say something, to apologize but words escaped him. River slipped off the bike, pulling her jeans back up and climbed on behind him again. Wrapping her arms around his waist Daryl fired up the bike and took off back towards home.

After riding a few hours, River started recognizing the signs they were close to Alexandria. Daryl slowed the bike to a stop then shut it off. As both of them got off the bike, Daryl began pushing it while River walked next to him lost in thought. Daryl couldn't help glancing at her while they walked, trying to figure out if she was OK. Coming to a stop, he rested his bike against the wall.

River turned to him watching when he said softly

"I'm not ready to go back yet."

River looked at him and thought, although she said she would go out with him any time, she really wasn't in the mood to hunt tonight. Her body still felt wonderful in the afterglow of what they did and she didn't want to ruin it. Daryl's voice interrupted her thoughts as he continued

"You want to go for a swim?"

Well that was unexpected.

"Sure" she nodded

The night air was warm and sticky and the water looked so inviting as they reached the edge. River watched out of the corner of her eye as Daryl took off his shirt then his jeans and then boxers diving into the water with the moonlight kissing his skin. River began slipping off her shirt and jeans but became self conscious as he stood watching her. Walking to the water still in her bra and panties Daryl said softly

"If I'm naked, you have to be naked"

River rolled her eyes and heard him laugh softly as she felt her cheeks tinge pink. What was wrong with her? Wasn't like he hadn't seen her naked before. This just felt different with his eyes watching her every move. Slipping off her bra and then her panties she quickly slipped into the water still warm from the summer sun. Daryl disappeared under the water and a panic first struck her because she couldn't find him but that quickly turned into a giggling shriek as he came up grabbing her and tossing her into the water. Swimming towards her again she put her hands up giggling

"No no no"

Daryl laughed deeply, sliding his arms around her waist pulling her against his chest. Slipping her arms around his neck he began kissing her softly. River felt her arousal grow as his hands roamed over her body, cupping her buttocks pulling her tighter against him. Feeling the small waves lick their skin he lifted her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Feeling his hardened shaft rub against her clit she thought she would explode right then and there. She wanted him inside her so badly but he continued to kiss and lick her body just about driving her out of her mind. Not able to wait any longer she whispered in his ear

"Daryl please"

Daryl began walking back to the shore still holding her. Finally putting her down, he lay back on the plush grass pulling her down gently to straddle him. River moaned as she guided his thick member inside her. She began moving her hips thrusting him slowly inside her. Leaning her head back she moaned again. She had never felt anything so exquisitely wonderful. Moving her hips a little more quicker she slid her hand up his taut stomach up to his chest. She moaned louder as she felt him grow and harden even more inside her. Suddenly Daryl sat up, pulled her closer and she felt him go even deeper, touching her very center. She felt her body explode as he moaned "River" in her ear. It had been the first time he had said her name instead of Raven's. They held tightly to each other through each other's climax kissing and tasting each other thoroughly.

River lay back on the grass barely able to breathe. All she could think was wow. Daryl leaned on an elbow over her still playfully kissing her neck and mouth but then suddenly became serious.

"Hey" he said softly

River looked at him and smiled

"What?"

"I'm sorry" he said quietly

River was completely confused

"For what?"

"Earlier, on the bike. I didn't mean to be so rough with you. I know before it was violent and such and I didn't mean to make it like that for you again"

River stared at him and couldn't believe he could be so sweet and dumb all at the same time.

"Daryl...that wasn't rough to me at all...I mean it was intense and passionate but really kind of exciting. I didn't mind it at all" she added feeling a blush in her cheeks. "What I went through before...it was nothing like that, or this...nothing" she whispered

Daryl stared at her

"Do you want to talk about it?" he said softly

River stared at him for a moment then shook her head.

"Not right now...I will, I promise. I know I need to and when I do I'll probably be able to let go a lot of my anger, but tonight...I just want to remember this. I don't want to ruin it. Besides its a really long story and we better start heading back. Sun's coming up" she whispered kissing his lips softly.

Daryl looked up at the sky and saw the soft pink horizon beginning to break the darkness. Smiling and laughing playfully as they dressed, they were both happy and content as they climbed back over the wall. River dropped down first and was suddenly stunned as was Daryl who dropped down next to her.

"Welcome back" said a very pissed off Rick and a glaring Aaron.


	8. Words Unspoken

"What's going on Daryl?" Said Rick with his hands on his hips

Daryl glanced at River

"Nothin'. We went for a swim...is there something wrong with that?"

Rick stared at Daryl

"That was an awful long swim. You left early this evening and you're just getting back now?"

"How would you know that?" said Daryl, staring at Aaron

"Never mind how I know. Is there a reason you have to jump the wall here and not use the gate and not tell anyone where you're going? You never did anything like this until that girl got here"

Rick growled pointing at River.

"River" Daryl said quietly still staring at Rick " I'll talk to you later, go get some sleep"

River looked at him...this was all her fault. Still not sure what to do, she looked at Daryl again who looked at her and nodded. Walking away she couldn't help but look back at him, wishing she could help somehow.

Daryl watched River leave then looked at Rick again.

"Why in the hell do you care Rick? You know I can take care of myself out there and the last time I checked you weren't my dad" Daryl said angrily

"Fine" Rick started "If you don't wanted to be treated like this then stop acting like a horny teenager. You sleeping with that girl Daryl?"

Rick and Aaron could see the guilt written all over his face. Daryl stared at them both then spoke in a low voice

"That girl has a name and I don't think it's any of your business who I'm sleeping with."

Rick sighed and rubbed his face with his hands

"Daryl...ever since she's gotten here you've been doing stuff you wouldn't normally do. She's sucked you into her world and it's not good for you. You have children, you have responsibilities. You can't be traipsing around taking midnight swims with a girl you barely know. Maybe we need to talk about her leaving, maybe going to a different settlement."

Daryl stared at Rick trying to keep his anger in check but it was proving to be extremely difficult.

"She's not going anywhere and this conversation is over"

Daryl pushed past Rick and stormed off towards his home.

River watched from her window as Daryl walked past looking pretty angry. She had hoped he would come to her place and tell her what was going on but by the looks of things she already knew. Collapsing on the couch, curling her legs under her she rested her head on the leather back. Things were so messed up again...how can things go from being so great to so bad within a matter of minutes? River drifted off to sleep still thinking about Daryl and Rick and what could she possibly do to fix the situation.

River blinked open her eyes and yawned and stretched. Getting up and walking to the window looking up at the sky, it was going to be another hot one today and it felt like a storm was brewing...in more ways than one she thought, as her mind drifted back to Daryl. Watching Logan and Hunter walk by carrying life vests and fishing gear heading for the pond, she smiled softly. At least the relationship between Logan and Daryl seemed to be going in the right direction. Walking away from the window, she went into the bathroom turning on the shower. She had only slept for a few hours and was still tired but she needed to wake up and figure out what to do about everything.

River sat on the bed, wrapped up in her bathrobe nodding off again, dreaming of Daryl and their moonlight swim. The way his skin and mouth had tasted and the feel of his hands on her body...River sat up with a start as a loud thump banged on her window. Sitting up and looking out the window she could see some serious dark clouds rolling towards Alexandria. Walking away from the window, her heart stopped...Logan and Hunter were out there. Dressing quickly, River stepped out the door and was immediately taken aback in how strong the wind was,

Making her way towards to pond she thought maybe they had went back home already seeing the storm coming. She wasn't even sure how long she had fallen back asleep. Coming closer River felt her heart begin to race seeing the little boat in the middle of the pond.

Breaking into a run, she hit the pier and looked seeing Logan crying and Hunter slumped over with a large tree limb next to him. Yanking off her shoes she dove into the water and swam as hard as she could through the choppy water. Reaching the boat, she pulled herself in, seeing that it had begun taking on water. River looked at Logan and hugged the crying little boy, trying to calm him.

"River, help Hunter, please help Hunter" he cried.

River hugged him again

"I will Logan, I promise, but you have to try and calm down for me...can you do that?"

Logan looked at her with his big green eyes and nodded.

Looking at Hunter, she could see a gash on the side of his head where the tree limb must have hit him. Looking at the tree limb she saw where it had pierced the boat and was the reason the boat was sinking. Looking back at the pier, they had to be at least 30 feet away. She couldn't swim with both boys and she wouldn't have enough time to take them one at at a time to the shore. Looking at each boy, how could she possibly choose which one to save?

Daryl yawned and stretched listening to the trees beat their limbs on the house. Sounded like one whopper of a storm was coming. Speaking of storms his thoughts drifted to River and then Rick. He could feel his anger begin again at the accusations Rick had tossed at him. He doesn't even know her! He couldn't even remember a time when Rick actually spoke directly to her. He had to make him see she wasn't like how she was when she first got there. Maybe after they both had some time to cool down, he'd be able to talk to him.

Rolling out of bed he walked down the steps and into the kitchen seeing Cheri sitting at the table, looking through an old fashion magazine.

"Morning Cheri" he said as he kissed the top of her head

"Morning daddy" she said sweetly, still leafing through the pages.

"You guys have fun last night?" He said, pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge, taking a deep drink.

Cheri nodded

"Yeah...Devon and Hunter built some crazy blanket forts and we played in them, it was fun"

Daryl grinned and the thought of them playing like that.

"Boys still over there with Devon?"

Cheri shook her head

"No...they went fishing. Logan wanted to catch some more for you to maybe have another cookout and have River over"

Daryl smiled at first but then looked at the sky frowning. Surely they still wouldn't be out on the water in this, but why weren't they back?

Kissing her on the top of the head again he said

"Thanks Cheri, I think I'm going to go grab them before this storm gets any worse"  
and headed quickly out the door.

River looked at a scared Logan again and knew what she had to do. Leaning down, looking him in the eyes she began.

"Logan I know you're scared but I need you to be a big, strong, brave boy right now. I need you to swim to the pier"

Logan shook his head violently.

"I can't!" he cried "it's too far!"

River shook her head and smiled at him

"Sweetheart, if I didn't think you could do it, I wouldn't ask you to. I know you can do this. Hunter can't swim at all with his injury so I have to help him. But you...you can do this. Make your daddy proud Logan, you swim your best and make it to that pier"

She had said the magic words...make your daddy proud. Logan nodded looking resolved staring at the water. Almost out of time, River picked up Logan placing him in the water. Giving him a big push she watched as he paddled for his life heading towards the pier. Looking at Hunter she tightened his life jacket and picked him up jumping into the swirling water. Coming up and breaking the surface she situated him so her arm was around his neck pulling him as she kicked on her back. She kept trying to see if Logan was OK but the choppy water blocked her vision and it was all she could do to make sure she was still heading in the direction of the pier.  
Daryl was running hard now. He had expected to see them on their way back but the closer he got to the pond the more his anxiety grew. Something had to be wrong. Running through the talk grass to the pier, he hit the wood and could see the small boat capsizing.

"No!" he screamed running out to the edge.

Just about to jump in the water, he caught sight of a small yellow life jacket heading for the pier. Logan! He could see he was swimming for his life. Laying down and reaching out a hand he was finally able to grab him and pull him to safety. Logan shook and coughed at all the water he had inhaled but he was safe. Daryl stared at him

"Hunter?" he asked him

"River has him" Logan said pointing at the water

At first Daryl couldn't see them but then he finally did. She was swimming hard pulling Hunter who looked unconscious. As they got closer he lay down again on the pier sticking his arm out for them. As she got closer, her heart jumped with joy seeing Logan out of the water and Daryl there offering his hand. Pulling Hunter to him, Daryl grabbed his life vest pulling him out of the water. Offering his hand to River he then pulled her out too. River's legs were too weak to stand after working that hard so she dropped to her knees. Daryl was looking at Hunter with grave concern, spotting the gash on his head.

"Go Daryl!" she yelled over the wind. "Get him to to the doctor! I'll take care of Logan! Go!"

Daryl scooped up Hunter and ran. River looked at Logan who was still badly shaken up. Hugging him she said

"I'm so proud of you, you did it. It's going to be OK and Hunter will be OK. C'mon let's go"

River got to her feet still having some shaky legs but she had to get Logan out of the storm.  
Cheri looked up from her magazine speechless as River and Logan came busting through the door.

"What's going on?" she whispered

River looked at her.

"Cheri, there's been an accident. Your dad is at the doctor with Hunter. I need to get Logan into some dry clothes and warm, he was in the water a long time. Can you help me?"

Cheri nodded her head and took off upstairs. Bringing back a change of clothes and a blanket, she helped River change his clothes and then wrap him up in the blanket.

"I need to see Hunter" he whispered at River looked at his little purple lips shivering

"I know" she said softly "I promise we'll go over there just as soon as you warm up a little"

"Is Hunter OK?" Cheri asked scared

River looked at her still holding Logan

"I hope so" she said softly "A big tree limb came down and hit him in the head and sank their boat. Logan swam to the pier but Hunter was knocked out so I had to swim for him"

"You swam that far?" Cheri asked Logan

Logan nodded but was still too worried about his brother to be happy she noticed. Finally getting Logan warm, River grabbed their hands and ran for the doctor's office getting a break in the storm.

Rick watched out his window as Logan, Cheri and River went running from their house. Damn you Daryl he thought. What was wrong with him letting her go off with his kids like this? Sighing he knew he had to do something. If she hurt any of them, Daryl would never forgive himself and it would be too late to do anything about it. Walking out his front door, he was a little surprised to see them heading for the infirmary.

Daryl turned to see River, Logan and Cheri come into the building. Looking at him Daryl shook his head

"He's still out" he said quietly

River sighed, sitting down in a chair by the door. Walking over Daryl looked down into the tearful green eyes of his son.

"I'm sorry daddy" he whispered

Daryl was confused. Picking him up he asked

"What for?"

Logan sniffled

"Cuz I asked Hunter to take me fishing in the boat."

Daryl sighed and kissed his son's forehead hugging him close.

"Logan, you have to stop blaming yourself for things that you have no control over. You and Hunter didn't know that storm was coming, nobody did. It could have happened to anybody. You're a good boy and you didn't do anything wrong" Daryl paused "and the same goes for your mom. I can tell that you blame yourself for that too but it wasn't you. It's just something that happens every once in awhile."

Logan hugged his neck and put his little head on Daryl's shoulder while Daryl rubbed his back. River looked at them both and couldn't help the tears that filled up her eyes. She knew Logan had really needed to hear those words and to finally hear them come from Daryl, touched her in a place so deep, she didn't know it existed. So wrapped up in the moment between father and son, she didn't hear the door open or see Rick standing there staring at her.

"Dad?" came a soft voice

Handing Logan to River, he rushed to Hunter's side

"I'm here lil' D...I'm here" he whispered

"What happened?" Hunter asked

"I guess a tree branch flew and hit you in the head. We'll have to find a new boat, it sunk yours."

Daryl said quietly

"and Logan?"

"He's here, he's good. He swam all the way from the boat to the pier" Daryl smiled looking over at Logan motioning for him and Cheri to come over.

"Wow...I don't know if I could swim that far" Hunter said

River watched the little family gather around Hunter and talk quietly and was so happy everything was going to be OK. She was suddenly startled seeing Rick standing there. Giving him a weak smile he had no response...he just stared at her. After a few seconds he turned and walked over to Daryl and the kids asking what happened. River wasn't happy. Why should he treat her like that when he doesn't even know her. River's thoughts were interrupted as Daryl came walking over. Standing up she looked at him.

"Hey" he said softly "You mind taking Cheri and Logan home and maybe stay with them for awhile? I know everybody is probably hungry, if you want to make something there's plenty of food there. I'm going to stay with Hunter for awhile then I'll check in with you guys later. I just want to make sure he's going to be OK"

River nodded quickly

"Sure" she said

Daryl slid his arms around her waist kissing her cheek whispering "thank you...for everything" softly in her ear.

River watched as Daryl ushered his two kids away from their brother over to her. She smiled as Logan automatically grabbed her hand but the smile wavered catching a glimpse of Rick's glare as they walked out the door.

River looked through his cabinets and found plenty of fresh vegetables. Throwing the corn in a big pot, she cut up some potatoes, putting them with the green beans to cook. She also found what looked to be chicken in the fridge but knowing Daryl it could be just about anything.

Popping it in the heated oven covered in salt, pepper and rosemary, it wasn't long before the house began smelling wonderful from the food. Both Cheri and Logan sat there breathing the aromas in deep making River giggle while she sliced tomatoes. Eating heartily they were all stuffed as each of them kept saying how good it had been

"Cheri? You want to take your dad something to eat? Maybe see how Hunter is and if he's hungry?"

"Sure" Cheri smiled

River found some Tupperware and packed some food for Daryl and Hunter and sent Cheri on her way. Looking at Logan she said with a smile

"I think maybe I'll run you a bath so you can wash that stinky pond water off"

Logan giggled and nodded his head agreeing with her.

After running his water and throwing some soap in for bubble fun, she smiled listening to him play with his toys in the tub while she cleared the dinner dishes. Standing at the sink washing a plate, she couldn't help but be shocked about the current state of things for herself. Just a couple of months ago she hated everything and everybody and now...she had never cared about so many in her life. She finally felt like she belonged somewhere. She jumped a little when she felt his hand slide over her backside and her heart did a somersault when he chuckled in her ear.

"That was good...thanks"

River smiled shyly at him

"Is Hunter hungry?" she asked

Daryl laughed again

"That's why I'm here, he wants more chicken, green bean's and potatoes."

River laughed easily with him and pointed

"Everything is on the stove covered up in case anyone wanted more."

She looked over at Daryl as he ripped a chunk of chicken off and popped it in his mouth. She started laughing as he said

"What?"

Daryl finished eating and then packed more chicken and green beans in the Tupperware , setting it on the counter looking at her.

"Where's Cheri?" she asked

"Sitting with Hunter until I get back...where's Logan" he asked

River laughed

"In the tub, I told him he had to wash that pond water off..."

Her words trailed off as she felt him behind her, kissing her neck. Turning around, sliding her arms up his broad shoulders he kissed her softly pressing her up against the kitchen sink. She couldn't believe how quickly her body caught fire when he touched her. Kissing her more deeply she sighed dreamily as his tongue slipped inside her mouth dancing with her own. Their fun was soon interrupted though by a small voice yelling

"River! I need a new towel! Mine fell in the tub"

They both laughed while still kissing.

"I got it" Daryl smiled

River finished the last dish and drained the water laughing softly as she heard Daryl and Logan's exchange over the sopping wet towel. Daryl soon appeared carrying a squeaky clean Logan dressed in his jammies. She couldn't help to think how handsome they both were... Logan looked so much like him, except for his eyes of course. Putting Logan down, Daryl grabbed the container looking at her

"Doc said he's out of the woods. I'm going to sit with him until he falls asleep then I'll be back...you gonna wait up?"

River smiled softly nodding.

"Sure" she said

Giving her a wink which warmed her everywhere she watched him slip out the door. Shortly after Cheri came back and after her bath she and Logan lay in the floor coloring. Seeing them both yawn, River suggested maybe it was past their bedtime. Cheri was all too happy to go to bed but Logan looked upset.

"What's the matter?" she asked him.

"I wanted to wait up for daddy" he pouted

River smiled at him

"OK then, you want to climb up here in the rocking chair with me and wait?"

Logan smiled sweetly and nodded climbing onto her lap. River sat there rocking slowly feeling the cool night air that the storms blew in, flutter across them. Finding a quilt on the table next to she draped it over them and smiled as she looked at a sleeping Logan resting against her. Almost dozing off herself she came to as she heard the door crack open and Daryl enter.

Chuckling he looked at her and Logan and said

"He wanted to wait up I'm guessing?"

River smiled and nodded not saying anything so she wouldn't wake him up. Daryl softly grabbed Logan off her lap putting him over his shoulder.

"Daddy?" Logan said sleepily

"Hmmm?" Daryl said walking towards the stairs

"I waited up for you"

Daryl smiled

"I know you did lil man but it's time for bed now."

"OK" Logan said softly and fell back to sleep.

Looking at River, Daryl held up one finger and walked carrying his sleeping son upstairs to his room. River was a nervous wreck. Did he want her to stay? Did he want to...even with his kids in the house? They had only ever done it outside the walls and this would be so different. If they did, should she leave before morning so nobody knew? River was so lost in thought she didn't hear him come up behind her as he trailed his finger down her arm and grabbed her hand as she jumped a little.

"Wow...what's going on inside that brain of yours?" he asked softly

River smiled nervously

"Nothing, I just didn't know if I should go with the kids here and everything"

She watched as Daryl began walking still holding her hand, pulling her along. She watched as they crossed the living room and then into another room in the back. River looked around her, it was gorgeous. Against the wall was a four poster bed with a mattress so thick, it almost looked like you would need a ladder to get into it. On the far side walk a fireplace and then in the corner a personal Jacuzzi. All she could say was

"Wow"

Daryl grinned looking around

"Yeah, this is the master bedroom. It's nice, I've never slept in here before but I always thought it looked nice"

"How come?" River wondered

Daryl shrugged "Seemed like such a waste for just me. I usually sleep upstairs with the kids in the spare room or on the couch"

River nodded, she could see this room being a bit much for a manly guy like Daryl.

Daryl stepped closer looking at her. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest as she felt the heat off of his body with him standing so close. Daryl's fingers undid her top button on her shirt as he softly kissed her neck. Undoing another he kissed the other side of her neck. Staring into her eyes he slid his finger down the center of her chest to the third button as she felt chills all over her body. He was doing everything so painfully slow and it was driving her out if her mind. Unbuttoning the last button, he trailed his hand down her stomach sliding his finger along the top of her jeans, stopping in the center unsnapping her jeans. Slowly sliding her zipper down he stared deep into her eyes. The ache for him between her thighs was all she could think about and she gasped as he slid his hands down the back of her jeans, pulling her against his hardened shaft. Picking her up he walked to the bed setting her on it, then slowly he pulled her jeans off tossing them to the ground.

She waited for him to join her on the bed but instead he leaned over her and began trailing kisses all over her body. Slowly down her stomach she watched as he slid her panties down below her hips then past her knees then off. She was so aroused and waited for him but instead she found him sliding her legs over his rippling shoulders. What is he doing? She quickly cried out as she felt his mouth on her wetness. She wiggled with pleasure as he sucked on her small bloom of passion and grasped his hair as she felt his tongue slip inside her. She could feel herself getting ready to explode when suddenly he was inside her, filling her completely. She moved with his thrusts, meeting his fevered pace and felt her own body explode and shudder as he groaned and whispered her name.

They lay there quietly wrapped in each other for awhile when Daryl chuckled

"Now that's the way you break in a bed."

River couldn't help but laugh and agreed

"That was pretty awesome, especially it being my first time"

Daryl turned on his side resting on his elbow.

"What do you mean?"

"Well all the other times we were outside, so this is my first time in a bed"

Daryl stared at her but looked a little confused.

River took a deep breath. She wanted to tell him but was afraid he would think differently of her. Trying to figure out what to say he leaned over and kissed her softly.

"It's OK" he whispered

River looked at him as a tear slid out of the corner of her eye. Breathing out slowly she began

"I know I wasn't a virgin when we first...but you are my first man...you're my first for a lot of things actually."

"What about Negan?" he asked softly

River shook her head

"He took my virginity but not with his penis...he never touched me with it. He used different objects instead and we always had to be on all fours on the floor while he did it"

River heard him suck in his breath with shock.

"That wasn't the worst of it though" she whispered. "the torment was not knowing if you would get raped by Lucille. Once he tired of a wife he would rape her with it and she would of course bleed to death."

She stopped, looking at Daryl.

"When he was going to take Raven as a wife, she was to be my replacement. I know it. He had grown tired of me because I had stopped begging and crying. He really got off on that sort of thing. I wanted him to do it...I was ready to die. But then you came along and killed him. I know you killed him for Raven, but part of me always wanted to feel like maybe you did it a little bit for me too"

River couldn't help it as the tears rolled down her cheeks. This was the first time she had ever told anyone what had happened to her and the fear of being judged or thought of differently overwhelmed her. Daryl pulled her close wrapping his arms around her as her body shook with sobs. She was finally letting go of all of the anger and rage that burned deep within her soul. Finally getting herself back under control she let out a slow breath

"Sorry...I didn't mean to..."

Daryl pulled back looking at her

"Are you kidding me?" he said softly "after everything I've laid on you about me and what I was going through? I just can't believe you survived carrying that around with you all of these years. You are without a doubt the strongest person I've ever known"

"Daryl I'm not strong, I just know how to turn what hurts me into hate" she whispered

Daryl shook his head

"No River...you are strong, stronger than you'll ever know"

They laid there quietly for awhile until Daryl gave a small chuckle. Looking at him curiously Daryl said sliding his hand around her waist

"I'm not going to lie...me being your first and only does stroke my ego a little bit"

River laughed and said "Oh yeah?"

Grinning he replied

"Yeah...I also think I got a little something else you can stroke on too"

Laughing she retorted

"Yeah well, there's nothing little about that" and squealed with laughter as he flipped her around on the bed ready for another romp.

The next morning River dressed quietly while everyone slept. Leaning over to kiss him softly he opened an eye looking at her

"Where you going?" he asked sleepily

"Home" she whispered

"Why?" he asked

Smiling and pushing the hair back from his eyes she said

"I don't want the kids to see me here like this."

Daryl groaned but he understood.

"Alright...well Rick wants me to go scout a place with Sasha in a couple of hours but I'll be back tonight. Maybe I could sneak you in again?"

River giggled

"Absolutely" she whispered and slipped out the door.

Later that afternoon River sat in her living room going through her clothes, trying to figure out what to wear tonight. Her heart leapt at the sound of a knock on her door thinking maybe he was back early. Opening the door smiling it was quickly gone as she saw Rick and Aaron were the ones that were standing there. Rick pushed past her and stood in the middle of the living room staring at her until he spoke.

"Pack your stuff River. You're leaving. Right Now."


	9. Cast Out

"Rick please" she whispered "Don't do this"

"This isn't up for debate River, pack your stuff now or you can leave without it, up to you" Rick said angrily

River's hands shook, pushing her clothes into her bag. She didn't understand...what had she done that was so wrong to deserve this?

"I just don't understand" she whispered

"You're not good for him. You get him to do things, dangerous things that he wouldn't normally do. I know about the walkers and the fights. He's a father and needs to be there for his kids, they've already lost their mother and they don't need to lose him as well."

She knew she couldn't defend herself over that one and that it was better that they were blaming her for it, but how did they know? They had been so careful! Maybe if they knew they hadn't been out for awhile and they would probably never do it again they would change their minds.

"What if I told you it was something I was done with? I don't want to do that anymore?" she asked looking at him

"Too little too late. Let's go"

Everything was surreal to River as they walked her down the street to Aaron's car. Seeing Logan and Hunter, she wanted so badly to say goodbye but Rick stepped next to her cutting off her view of them.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked quietly

Rick looked at her and said

"There's a settlement about a few hours from here and Aaron will take you there. Don't try any funny business or so help me you will regret it. I will make sure Daryl hates you and I'll kill you myself if you try to come back"

River slid into the car next to Aaron and stared out the window trying to hide her tears as he drove through the gate. They drove silently for about an hour until Aaron spoke

"This really is for the best, it would have ended badly anyway."

River didn't say a word, she just continued to stare out the passenger window until thinking about them knowing about the fights got to her.

"How did you find out?" she asked quietly

She could tell Aaron was feeling pretty guilty about something. Finally he spoke.

"One night I couldn't sleep and I was taking a walk and I saw Daryl walking like a man on a mission so being curious I followed him. I watched you guys jump the wall, so I followed... I saw you guys and how you drew the walkers to you. I'm not going to lie, you both were magnificent but I knew it was wrong and then seeing what you guys did after, like it was just some kind of sick foreplay? I had to stop it." Aaron paused and then continued.

"He still loves Raven you know... He doesn't and won't ever love you. I know it sounds cruel now but it's the truth. I know you fell for him...I get it. But it's for the best"

River continued to stay silent but did feel the sting of his words. She knew they were true but she really didn't need to hear it right now...and he had seen them? The humiliation was almost unbearable. No wonder Rick wanted her gone after hearing all of this.

"Oh crap" Aaron said, slowing the car

River turned and looked seeing several men on a truck blocking the road.

"Now what?" River whispered

"Hey there...y'all need to step out of the vehicle for a bit and talk to us."

Aaron and River looked at each other.

"C'mon y'all...out" said the stranger

Aaron and River opened their doors and stepped out of the car.

"Where you two headed?" asked the man

Aaron paused.

"We're going to a settlement called the kingdom. They're expecting us...if we don't show, they will come looking for us"

Aaron and River heard the men chuckle. The one that had been speaking to them jumped down off the truck and walked towards them. Stopping just a few feet away, he looked River up and down and smiled a dirty, greasy smile"

"My my...aint you a looker" he said softly. "I bet big Jim would like to meet your acquaintance."

River stared at him. She had been sizing him and the other men up since they got out of the car. There were four of them but they didn't look that heavily armed. Two had guns but the other two looked like they just had knives. It certainly wouldn't be impossible to take them out. River couldn't help but cringe when the man rubbed his hands over her body searching her. Watching him take her knife out of its sheath while he grinned, she had to force herself not to spit on him. Watching the man move to and search Aaron, she breathed a small sigh of relief. He hadn't found the knife she always kept hidden in her boot.

After tying up Aaron and her hands, she was stunned as the men pushed the truck off the road. It didn't even work? They were nothing but a bunch of road trolls using broken vehicles to stop cars passing through.

"What about this car?" asked one of the men.

The leader, or so he seemed shook his head.

"We'll tell big Jim about it and see what he wants to do. Just leave it for now...but make sure you search it"

River watched as the guy went through the car pulling out her bag and looking inside. Tears of anger and frustration filled her eyes as he began pulling her panties out of the bag as the men chuckled. They were all so disgusting all she could think about was how much she wanted to plunge her knife into each of their skulls. Grabbing their ropes, she and Aaron began walking in the woods with them to a place unknown.

They had only walked for a half hour when the men stopped and decided to make camp. Tying her and Aaron to a tree, she watched as the men built their camp while passing a bottle of whiskey around. That gave River even more hope to make their escape since drunken men aren't the smartest ones. As night time fell, she could see they were having a pretty good time by now, she brought her knees up to her chest tight, trying to slip her fingers from her tied up hands inside her boot. Finally fishing it out, she let out a slow breath as she was able to slip it between her hands and begin rubbing it on her ropes. As she felt her hands loosen as the rope snapped, her heart stopped. The man that had been drooling over her panties was walking towards her a bit unsteady.

"Bubba...Big Jim isn't going like you sampling the fruit before him" one of the men warned.

"Who's gonna tell him?" slurred the man "I'm just having a little bit of fun" he laughed

Leaving the ropes rest on her wrists she watched as the man squatted in front of her, smiling a filthy smile.

"Hey girlie, c'mere...give us a kiss"

River watched as he wobbled and fell towards her laughing but the laugh was soon replaced by gurgling as her knife found its way under his chin and through his head. Leaving the man slumped against her, she began working on the rope that was tied around her chest. Feeling the rope loosen, River watched as another man began walking over just as unsteady as the one she had killed.

"Seriously Bubba, Mack will be mad and big Jim will have your ass if you do this". The man grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back, shocked as the man rolled over dead but was even more shocked as River stood up plunging her knife into his skull. River ran to Aaron and began cutting his ropes as he stared in awe at her. Getting up Aaron started to run but watched River go toward the camp.

"River!" he whispered "What are you doing?"

River shook her head and put her fingers to her lips. Walking up to the man that was passed out by the fire, she plunged her knife into his eye socket killing him instantly. There was one more but she didn't see him...where was he? Deciding only one chasing them wasn't so bad she ran back to Aaron as they began running hard through the woods. Hearing a gunshot, she felt something bite her right side. Grabbing it, she kept running with Aaron, praying they could make their way back to the car.

Coming to a clearing and seeing their car on the road, they ran harder for it. Sliding to a stop and climbing in, Aaron started the car and hit the gas. Driving for a bit Aaron looked at her.  
"Thank you River, you were amazing. You saved my life. I..."Aaron trailed off looking at her

"River?"

Stopping the car and turning on the car's dome light he sucked in his breath as he saw dark red blood oozing from her shirt.

"Oh God River, you've been shot...hang on."

River watched as Aaron ripped part of his shirt and cried out as he tied it around her waist on the wound. River felt him turn the car around and head screaming back towards Alexandria saying

"Just hold on River, hold on"

Feeling the car stop and hearing yelling, her door opened and she felt herself being lifted and then more yelling. She felt so weird, like she was floating. She felt different hands and then heard a familiar voice in her ear

"C'mon River...stay with me. Don't go to sleep, you're going to be just fine" Daryl whispered  
River nodded her head

"I'm OK" she said softly

But she wasn't. Her side felt like a hot poker was being pushed through it and she couldn't help but cry out as the pain worsened when they removed Aaron's makeshift bandage. She wanted to stay awake but the pain was too much as the entire world turned to black.  
River's eyes fluttered open as she stared at the wall lying on her side. The pain in her side was better, as it was no longer on fire but more like a dull ache. Coming to more, she heard violent whispering coming from behind her back.

"You had no right! No right Rick! This is your fault!" Daryl growled

Rick sighed

"Daryl...I did this for you. She's not good for you...I know about the walker fights, and other things...you can't do that kind of stuff when you have kids. She admitted to me that she made you go out there...so I made her leave and I'm not sorry about it"

"It wasn't her! It was me! I wanted to go out there, she wanted to stop...finally she did get me to stop. You don't understand Rick"

"I do understand Daryl, I do…listen we'll get her fixed up and take her to the kingdom. If you want to visit then you'll know where she is" Rick said softly.

"If she goes, then I go, my whole family goes. Is that what you want Rick?

Rick stared at Daryl for a moment then asked softly

"Are you in love with her Daryl?"

Silence.

"No…hell no. She's my friend. It isn't like that."

Rick looked at Daryl who looked extremely uncomfortable and said

"Friends who have sex…"

Daryl was getting mad again.

"Not that it's any of your business but yes. It's something we agreed on…she knows it's just sex and doesn't mean anymore than that and she's fine with it. Why aren't you?"

Rick looked at him

"You sure she's fine with it?"

Daryl stared back

"Yeah, why?"

Rick dropped his head then said quietly

"Because I know she's in love with you"

River felt her heart drop. She wanted to turn around and tell him to shut up but she couldn't, she was frozen to the bed.

Silence again.

"And how would you know that Rick? Far as I know you two have never even spoken" Daryl said quietly

Rick sighed and said

"I don't need to talk to her Daryl, I know. I see it. That day Hunter was in here, I saw the way she looked at you. She looked at you the way Raven used to look at you."

They were silent again until she heard the door open.

"How is she?"

She recognized Aaron's voice.

"Doc says she'll be alright…she's still sleeping though" Daryl said.

"Oh good, I'm glad she'll be OK. Listen, I don't want to disturb her but I need to talk to you guys about the people that we ran into. I think they might be a bigger problem then what we first thought."

River listened to the shuffling of shoes on the floor then the door shut quietly as they left.  
She couldn't help as the hot tears poured from her eyes. She wasn't even sure why she was crying. She knew Daryl didn't and wouldn't love her. She hadn't even known she had felt that way about him until Rick said it but to hear him say he didn't love her with such conviction absolutely shattered her heart.

Trying to sit up she groaned. Not only was she brokenhearted, she was stuck here injured. All she wanted was to pack a bag…which she didn't have any more thanks to the assholes in the woods, and leave but that obviously wasn't going to happen either. Hearing the door open, she collected herself and made sure whoever it was knew she was awake. Turning her head, trying to see behind her she heard a little voice

"River?"

Smiling she said

"Hey Logan, come around this side so I can see you"

Logan came around the bed and she looked at him standing there with a handful of daisies. Her heart broke even more…not only did she love Daryl, she loved this little boy with all of her heart as well.

"Hey" she smiled through her tears "Are those for me?"

Logan nodded his head and looked around.

"I don't have a vase though" he whispered.

River saw a bottle by the window sill.

"I think they would be OK in that" she pointed

Logan walked over and grabbed the bottle putting the flowers in it. Walking to the sink, he filled the bottle then set it on the table next to her bed.

"There" he smiled.

River smiled back but her heart was hurting so much she just wanted to be alone.

"Thank you Logan, they're beautiful"

Logan smiled again.

"Daddy said that you would be OK."

River nodded

"Yep, doc fixed me right up. I should be good as new soon"

River heard the door open again

"Daddy!" Logan said running

"Hey little man" he said picking him up "Hey…you're up. How you feeling?" Daryl said softly.

River's back was still to him thankfully so he couldn't see her face.

"I'm good. A little tired but the pain is better"

Logan chattered to Daryl as an awkward silence hung between them.

Great.

"OK, we'll let you get some rest…I'll check in on you later"

River nodded and listened as the door opened and closed as they left.  
River lay back down on the bed trying to deal with the ache in her heart that was so much worse than the one in her side. The door opened again and she was just about to tell them to get out quite rudely until she saw the doctor some around to her side.

"Well, hello there, you're up! How you feeling?"

River nodded.

"I'm good. I'd like to get out of here though"

She heard the doctor chuckle as he looked at her wound.

"What's the matter? You don't like my hospitality here? If not, just wait until you try the food" He said helping her sit up.

River smiled softly.

"No thanks…but seriously…can I go home? I mean I can rest there just as easy as here, right?"

The doctor looked at her and frowned.

"I suppose but you were just shot yesterday…why the rush?"

River tried to think quickly

"I just have a strong aversion to doctor offices" she said softly "that and it would free up your bed in case someone one else needed it.

The doctor stared at her for a minute and finally said

"OK, but someone is walking you home. Let me get Daryl"

"NO! I mean no, don't bother him. If it's all the same to you, Aaron would probably help me"

The doctor gave her a peculiar look but shrugged his shoulders and left in search of Aaron. River looked around and sighed…all the clothes she had in the world were gone and now the only thing she had to put on was her bloody t shirt and jeans. Hearing a knock on the door she turned to see Aaron standing there.

"Hmmm...looks like you could use a change of clothes" he said

River nodded

"I lost all my stuff when we ran from that guy"

I'll be right back, don't move" Aaron said walking back out the door.

River sat there swinging her legs and a few minutes later Aaron was back with a small bag of clothes.

"Sorry there's not a lot more that will fit you. We're going to have to look into getting more clothes on the next run."

"It's OK" as she forced a smile "I'll make these work"

River slipped on the baby blue t shirt and jeans and eased herself off the bed. She was glad to be up, but walking was a little uncomfortable. Aaron seeing her in a bit of distress, came over and offered his arm for support. Slowly they made their way out and down the steps heading for her home.

Daryl watched from Rick's porch, Aaron help River down the steps and to her home. He had started down the steps to take over for Aaron but stopped seeing the doctor

"Hey doc, you let her go home already?"

The doctor nodded his head

"Yep, it's what she wanted. She also asked for Aaron to help her. Everything OK between you two?"

Daryl stared at him.

"What do you mean?"

The doctor shrugged

"I just thought you two were together when Hunter was hurt...ah well, my mistake. See you Daryl"

Daryl watched him leave then looked at Aaron and River who were almost at her house. Why would she ask for Aaron? She doesn't even like him and he doesn't like her. What the hell?

"Daryl? Rick called

"Yeah?" Daryl yelled back.

Rick walked out on to the porch

"I want to grab Aaron and go back to where they were held to see if we can figure out if he left a trail"

Daryl nodded

"I'll go get Aaron, I know where he went" Daryl said heading for River's.

"Here you go" Aaron said helping her ease into the recliner.

River felt relieved to be sitting down again. The walk had proved to be a lot more difficult than she thought.

"Thanks Aaron" she smiled weakly

Aaron stared at her for a moment

"I was wrong about you" he said softly "I mean not about fighting the walkers, you just can't do that anymore and neither can Daryl but you're a good person. After how I betrayed you, you should have left me tied to that tree but that thought never entered your mind, did it?"

River looked at him a bit shocked and shook her head

"No, I would have never left you" she said

Aaron nodded

"That's what I thought. Listen, if Rick tries making you leave again I'm going to tell him no and I'll refuse to drive you." he said

River was quiet for a moment then said quietly

"What if I told you that I want to go? That maybe it was a good idea"

Aaron stared at her

"Why?" he said softly

River shook her head and closed her eyes trying to keep the tears at bay. Hearing a knock she opened her eyes seeing Daryl standing there. Quickly looking away she played with the fringe on the blanket that covered her.

"Aaron, Rick is looking for you." Daryl said quietly staring at River

Aaron nodded

"OK, better see what he wants. Feel better River, I check back tomorrow to see how you're doing"

River nodded

"Thanks Aaron"

Aaron slipped quietly out the door as both River and Daryl stayed there without saying anything...the silence between them was deafening.

"I'm going to go with Rick and Aaron to try and figure out which way that asshole who shot you went" Daryl finally said.

River nodded

"Be careful, Aaron thinks the group may be bigger than you all thought". still staring at her fingers playing with the blanket.

Daryl stared at her...what was wrong with her? Why was she acting like he did something wrong? Did she think he put Rick and Aaron up to what they did?

"River, look at me" he said softly

River's heart pounded in her chest. Now would be a really good time for her old instincts to kick in and to shut her feelings down but she was so emotionally raw she didn't know how to at this point. Sliding her eyes slowly to meet his, her guilt and humiliation radiated from her entire face. Seeing the look on his...he knew. He finally saw it.

Daryl felt a pain in his heart. She had heard him and Rick in the doctor's office...and Rick had been right. How could have he missed this? Daryl felt like kicking himself. He needed to get out of there...fast.

"Alright, well I'll check on you later. Get some rest..."

River nodded, closing her eyes laying her head back. Hearing the door click shut River knew it was done.

She would have to leave, and he knew it too.


	10. Don't Go

Rick, Daryl and Aaron walked through the woods silently following River's trail of blood she had left after getting shot. Aaron slid a glance at Daryl and could tell he was completely distracted and not really into what they were trying to accomplish here. He knew he needed to talk to him, but not with Rick around. Rick had his mind made up already about River and it was going to take some doing to change it. Coming to a clearing they all looked at the bodies still laying there.  
Rick and Daryl walked around looking at them then looked at each other. Turning to Aaron Rick asked

"She did all this?"

Aaron nodded.

"Yes…she was quite brilliant actually. I wanted to run as soon as she got the ropes off but she told me no. She wanted to kill all of them so they couldn't follow or report back to whomever but the fourth one disappeared. He's the one that ended up shooting her when we ran."

"I told you she was dangerous Daryl"

"Are you kidding me Rick?" Aaron yelled.

Both Daryl and Rick stared at Aaron.

"I get you don't like what she and Daryl were doing but you know what? Daryl is a big boy and can make his own decisions and I highly doubt she had to twist his arm to go out there…but this? This is different, this was life or death and she saved my life. How can you stand there and judge her on something you would have done yourself? If this is going to be nothing but a witch hunt then I'll see you guys back at the car."

Aaron turned and began walking back leaving behind a speechless Daryl and Rick. Looking at each other Rick said softly.

"Is it just me or does that girl drive everyone to crazy town?"

Daryl couldn't help but grin saying

"I'll go get him"

Daryl caught up with Aaron within a few minutes.

"Aaron…wait up" Daryl called.

Aaron stopped and looked at Daryl

"Hey" Daryl started "He didn't mean anything by it but you're right, Rick would have done the same thing. Maybe that's why they butt heads…they're too much alike." He said with a lopsided grin.

Aaron still stared at Daryl fighting with himself over breaking River's confidence. She hadn't told him he couldn't say anything but he knew she probably wouldn't want him to. Deciding telling was probably the right thing here he said

"Daryl…River is planning on leaving Alexandria. She asked me to take her to the Kingdom when she's well enough to travel."

Daryl looked stunned at first but then dropped his gaze hiding whatever he was thinking or feeling

"Thanks" Daryl said quietly and turned to walk away.

"Daryl" Daryl stopped in his tracks while Aaron spoke "For what it's worth, I think it's a mistake…her leaving. I haven't seen you this happy since Raven. I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you you're a better person with her than you are without, even when it comes to your kids. If you tell her not to go, she won't but I believe she thinks this is what you want too."

Aaron turned heading back to the car, he had said his piece and now it was up to them. He had truly meant every word he said and he hoped Daryl would really think about what he was doing and really think about if letting her go was the right choice.

Daryl walked back to Rick slowly, thinking about everything Aaron had said. She would really leave? He knew things were weird between them right now but he didn't think of doing anything that drastic. What about Logan? He would be devastated. It was wrong acting like he did around her…but love? He cared about her a lot…but love? I just don't know if I can he thought. Those possibilities had died with Raven…..or at least that's what he had believed before. Looking down he kicked a bag and picked it up looking inside. Slinging it over his shoulder he rejoined Rick looking for any clues to who these people were.

River dozed off in the chair but woke quickly hearing the door open. Michonne…great. I'm seriously not in the mood for another lecture she thought.

"Hey…just checking on you. You need anything?" Michonne said softly

River looked at her wanting to say something….apologize maybe? But she shook her head.

"No, I'm good thanks."

Michonne nodded and turned to go but River stopped her

"Michonne?"

"Yeah?" Michonne said

"I'm sorry...you know for what I did when we went on our run. I was kind of messed up, hell I probably still am but I know it was wrong and I am sorry."

Michonne stared at her for awhile then said

"It's OK. I've been in that bad place too. I actually used to do that sort of same thing. I mean I didn't go looking for them, but I did drag two of them around with me for a long time. Made it so they couldn't bite or scratch but they were basically my pet walkers."  
It was silent for a bit until River quipped

"And I thought I was a bit nutty…."

Both women laughed and it felt good that maybe Michonne didn't hate her so much.

"I'll be out of your hair soon enough anyway" River said softly looking at the ground

"Where are you going?" Michonne asked

River sighed

"The Kingdom I guess…I've never been there before. I hope it's an OK place."

Michonne stared at her then said

"River, you don't have to go there. I think Rick is OK with you staying as long as you're not out provoking walkers"

River looked at her

"This is my choice" she said softly

"Why?" Michonne asked again

River sighed again

"I just think it's the right thing to do, to let Daryl get on with his life."

Michonne looked at her and nodded

"Oh…so you're giving up that quickly? That's funny I didn't figure you for a quitter. That's too bad."

It was River's turn to stare. Michonne continued

"If you care about him as much as I think you do, then maybe you should try and fight a little for that. I know it's not walkers but it would still be a good fight. If you're not up for that then I wish you the best, but I do believe you would be making a mistake. Give it some thought...see you later."

River was struck silent watching Michonne walk back out the door. Give up? she thought. She wasn't giving up, she was excepting reality! If I wasn't already nuts, these people would drive me there River grumbled. Easing herself out of the chair, she slowly made her way into the kitchen to make herself something to eat. Looking at the fresh vegetables, she couldn't help but think of just a couple of days ago how happy she'd been cooking dinner for him and the kids. She couldn't help it as the tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Dammit!" she yelled.

She hadn't cried since she was like 14 and now she would boohoo at the drop of a hat. Making herself a quick salad, she ate watching the pink evening sky turn darker and become dotted with twinkling lights. She wanted to think about him and wonder what he was doing but she knew it would be just cause for more tears. Cleaning her plate she walked slowly back into the living room and eased herself back into the chair. She couldn't believe how much it tired her to do that little bit. Curling up in the corner of the chair, she fell asleep thankfully with very little thought.

Daryl stood there in the dark room staring at River curled up on one side of the large recliner. Putting her bag that had found in the woods by her chair, he stared at her more closely. He should leave and go home and leave well enough alone, but he didn't want to. It had only been a couple of days since he kissed or touched her but it felt like forever. He knew he should leave but all he could think about was curling up next to her in the chair.

Easing himself into the chair slowly, he slipped his arm around her waist careful not to disturb her injury. Pulling her against his chest he sighed, happy he hadn't listened to himself. Feeling her hand touch his softly, he wrapped his fingers in between hers.

"Daryl?" she said softly

"I'm here" he whispered in her ear

River pulled his arm tighter around her trying to get as close to him as much as possible.

"River?" he whispered

"Hmmmm?"

"Don't go"

River tried to turn to look at him but winced because of her side.

"Here, wait" he said picking her up and sliding her across his lap.

Taking his hand and cupping her face, rubbing his thumb on her cheek, he kissed her tenderly whispering

"Please don't go"

River nodded feeling the tears threaten

"OK" she whispered

Daryl looked at her and quietly said

"River, I have to be honest with you. I don't know what this is. I know it's more than just sex, I know that if you left it would hurt...a lot. I know I'm happier with you around. As for love, I don't know... I hadn't even thought of that possibility. I mean I thought that part of my heart died with Raven."

"Daryl" River whispered "this...right here. This is enough. I hadn't thought about love either, at least not until Rick opened his big mouth" she frowned.

Daryl chuckled kissing her softly again.

"That he does have" he whispered in between kisses. "Oh hey, look what I found" Daryl said reaching over the side of the chair picking up her bag.

"My bag!" she smiled kissing him again. "Thank goodness. Aaron found some clothes for me but they were kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel" she said pointing at her floral shirt.

"mmmm we could always take it off" Daryl said huskily in her ear, kissing her neck.

"Um, excuse me mister...gun shot" she laughed pointing at her side

Daryl looked at her side and sighed "damn...that's right. Well, seeing how you're all laid up now, I think you need to come to my house and let me take care of you...or would you rather Aaron?" he said sarcastically.

"Stop it" River smacked him playfully "you were acting just as weird as me"

Daryl laughed again "yeah I guess I was. OK you ready? I told Hunter I wouldn't be long so we need to get back"

River looked at him unsure.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly

"You think it's OK me staying there with the kids?"

Daryl kissed her again

"mmhmm. They will be thrilled you're there, especially Logan and will be happy they can help me take care of you so prepare yourself for the onslaught of Dixon hospitality"

River giggled and kissed him again and eased herself off of his lap standing up. Walking slowly to the door she turned and looked at him completely confused by his look.

"Seriously River? It's going to take you a year to walk to my house...C'mere" Daryl said slinging her bag over his shoulder and swooping her up in his muscular arms "Now THIS is how Aaron should have brought you home. You have no idea how badly that irritated me"

"I'm getting an idea how much it did" she said laughing

Daryl walked down the street carrying her in his arms and was greeted by his little crew as he entered the door with her.

"River!" they all said happily

Daryl eased her onto the couch and stood back and grinned as his kids crowded around her pelting her with questions.

"You OK?"

"Does it hurt?"

"Can I see your stitches?"

"Whoa whoa whoa" Daryl laughed "easy guys. There will be plenty of time to ask her stuff, she's going to be staying with us for awhile. I'm going to need you guys to help me take care of her while she's hurt."

The kids looked at her and then their dad and nodded. Logan then took off towards the stairs.

"Where are you going Logan?" Daryl asked

"To get River a pillow!" he yelled climbing the steps.

Daryl watched as Cheri followed her brother yelling

"I'll get a blanket!"

Daryl grinned at River saying

"See, told you"

River smiled but was looking at Hunter who had a funny look on his face.

"What's wrong Hunter?" she asked softly

Hunter looked embarrassed and quietly said

"Nothing"

"No, come on...please tell me. I won't stay here if you're not comfortable with it"

Hunter stared at her in surprise

"No, it's nothing like that. I was just wondering that you know, when you're feeling better do you think you could make more of that chicken?"

Daryl laughed deeply and River grinned at him

"Absolutely" she smiled "I was just thinking about that today how I could go for some more of that chicken. I'll be making that soon"

Hunter grinned while Daryl messed his hair

"Leave it to Hunter to think about his belly first" Daryl laughed.

Logan and Cheri came rushing down the stairs carrying their stuff, plumping the pillow behind her back and covering her with the blanket.

"Alright everyone, it's late and way past your bedtime" Daryl said hearing groans all around

"Come on, you can take care of her all you want tomorrow. Let's go"

River smiled as Logan walked up and hugged and kissed her on the cheek

"Night River" he said softly

"Good night Logan" she smiled

Cheri leaned over and hugged her

"Night River!" she said sweetly

"Good night Cheri" she grinned

Hunter stared at her unsure and River knew he was probably was feeling a little weird about everything.

"Good night Hunter" she said softly offering her hand "I know you're not really a little kid anymore and not into that mushy stuff"

Hunter smiled one of his dad's half smiles and shook her hand. River had to admit to herself, some day soon that little boy was going to be melting hearts all over the place looking and acting just like his dad. Daryl playfully swatted him as Hunter when running up the steps.

"Be right back" he whispered leaning down, giving her a soft kiss.

River sat back against the pillow and smiled hearing the little footsteps running around upstairs and squeals of laughter as Daryl played with them while tucking them in. Coming back down the steps slowly he grinned at her.

"What are you doing looking all comfortable there?"

River looked at him confused

"what do you mean?"

Daryl slid his arms under her, lifting her up and began walking towards the bedroom

"I mean that's not where you will be sleeping" he said kissing her softly

River frowned slightly

"Are you sure? The kids..."

Daryl cut her off "The kids are upstairs asleep and are fine"

Daryl placed her on the bed then stepped back sliding off his vest then his shirt. River unsnapped her jeans and slid them off, folding them and sitting on the table next to her.  
Frowning at her shirt, she really didn't like this one, Daryl grinned at her and walked to a dresser taking out a t shirt.

"Here" he said softly "you can sleep in this"

River slipped her shirt off and threw it at Daryl

"and you can burn that" she laughed as she slipped Daryl's soft T shirt over her head. It was huge on her but really comfortable. River slipped under the covers watching Daryl finish undressing down to his boxers. Watching him then crawl on the bed she couldn't help feel the warmness between her thighs that usually happened when he was around. Kissing her slowly she eased back trying to pull him with her. Resisting he pushed her softly to her good side and slid behind her spooning her body. Kissing her neck and wrapping his arms around her he whispered

"Good night"

Disappointed was an understatement.

"That's it?" she frowned

She felt Daryl's deep laugh from his chest against her back

"River, you were just shot a couple of days ago. I'm not about to wake up Doc and try and explain why your stitches have busted open."

River sighed still completely disappointed. It had only been a few days but it felt like forever.

"I promise" Daryl whispered in her ear "When those stitches come out we'll make up for lost time. I'll send the kids to Rick's and we'll christen the entire house"

River laughed softly

"Fine...I'm still not going to stop trying to tempt you though" she said pressing her bottom closer against him.

She smiled as she heard him groan

"Stop it woman or I'm heading for the couch"

"No, no...I'll be good, I promise"

Daryl laughed again and pulled her tight against his chest laying there quietly.

"This is going to be difficult" he whispered as River agreed with him wholeheartedly.

The next couple of days River enjoyed being pampered by Daryl and his kids but could not wait to get her stitches out. Laying on her side on the couch, she held her breath as the doctor took a look at her while Daryl went to see Rick.

"OK young lady, come see me tomorrow at the office and we'll take those stitches out" he said

River frowned slightly

"Not today?" she asked

The doctor laughed softly

"I'd like to give it just one more day, come see me tomorrow" he smiled.

River and the doctor both turned to see Daryl come through the door.

"How is she doc?" Daryl asked winking at her

"Stitches can come out tomorrow, so almost there"

Daryl nodded walking him to the door.

"Thanks doc, see you later" he said softly shutting the door. Looking at River, she could tell immediately something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" she asked sitting up

Daryl laughed softly walking back over to her, kissing her softly

"Nothing!" he whispered kissing her again.

River stood up and put her hands on her hips, she would not be distracted.

"Daryl?"

Daryl sighed.

"Rick, Aaron and I have to make a trip tonight, we'll be back by tomorrow evening I swear"

River looked at him.

"That's fine, I'll just come with you" she said

"Um no...gunshot" he pointed to her side.

River frowned

"But doc said..."

River's words were cut off by Daryl's mouth on hers.

"River" he said in between kisses "please...just stay here with the kids. It's really no big deal. Another settlement got hit by the guys we think tried kidnapping you and Aaron. They fought back but I guess their walls are pretty damaged. We're going to look to see what kind of help they'll need and if we need to bring back any of the survivors."

River hated it but she wasn't sure why. Suddenly she had her arms around his waist and her head on his chest.

"Daryl...don't go. Please don't go"

Daryl looked concerned

"River...hey...come on. It's OK, really. Anything bad that was going to happen, already happened. We're just going for cleanup. Besides, you need to get a lot of rest tonight because when I get back tomorrow, you're in trouble"

Daryl kissed her so deeply she thought she might drown. With her head still spinning, he started calling for the kids to tell them goodbye. River watched him kiss and hug each one and then kissed her again as she heard giggles all around. She couldn't help but blush, that had been the first time he had kissed her in front of them .

"Alright guys, I'll see you soon" Daryl said walking out the door.

As the kids went back to what they were doing, River couldn't help but stare at the door, unable to shake the bad feeling she had.

River made dinner and played with Logan then eventually got them ready for bed. Understanding now why Daryl didn't want to sleep in the big bed alone, she snuggled up on the couch praying tomorrow would come quickly. The next morning River made her way back to the doctor's and was thrilled he finally decided to take her stitches out. Walking back to the house, she was starting to feel a bit better, things were seeming to be coming along just fine.  
Later that evening, River made dinner but kept watch out the window... where were they? She felt stupid pacing the floor but she couldn't help it. She tried of thinking of something to do but she couldn't. Finally hearing vehicles approach outside, relief flooded her.

"Guys!" she yelled "Your dad is home!".

Hunter, Cheri and Logan came scrambling out of their rooms and tore down the steps. Following them out the door and down the steps she stood back waiting to see him get out of one of the vehicles. Spotting his shaggy hair she smiled but her smile froze as her heart dropped to her feet. River stared at the dark haired girl that clung to him as he supported her with his arm. If she didn't know any better she would swear it was Raven. Hearing the kids yell

"Daddy! Daddy!" She walked slowly towards them. Stopping next to Hunter, she looked at him as he whispered

"Mom?"

River thought she would crumble to her knees right there. What in the hell is going on? Daryl turned with the girl and she was a bit relieved to see that it was of course not Raven seeing how this girl had dark brown eyes, but still...the resemblance was uncanny. Hunter and River began walking again reaching Daryl and the girl while Logan and Cheri climb all over him. Daryl turned and smiled softly at them but something was just off about it. River looked at the girl and decided to try to be nice but the girl looked her up and down and narrowed her eyes. Turning to Daryl she whined

"Daryl, I'm so tired...I really think I need to lie down" laying her head on his chest, staring at River.

Daryl looked uneasy and offered River an apologetic look.

"I'll be right back guys" Daryl said walking the girl away.

This was not good.

Not good at all.


	11. Chasing Ghosts

River leaned against the kitchen counter staring out the window. It had been over an hour since Daryl had come home and he was still with her. Seeing the kids sleepy faces, she had sent them to bed promising their dad would come up and kiss them goodnight when he got there. Sighing and looking at the wrapped up dinner she had warmed for him sitting on the stove, she grabbed it putting it in the fridge. She really didn't want to read too much into this but as each minute ticked by her heart broke just a little bit more.

Walking into the bedroom, she wasn't sure what to do. Should she pack her stuff? She was pretty much all better and didn't need help with anything, but she couldn't just leave the kids while he was out doing God knows what. Staring at the jetted tub, she had been waiting to try it out but couldn't because of her stitches. The massaging warm water just might soothe her raw nerves as well as her body. Running the water, pinning her hair up and taking her clothes off, River slipped into the warm water letting the peace of the water and bubbles wash a little of her worries away. Leaning back and closing her eyes, she relaxed and began drifting between the state of dreams and consciousness. Feeling a cloth rub her shoulder softly, she kept her eyes closed but said softly

"Did you go up and kiss the kids goodnight yet?"

"Yes" Daryl whispered in her ear

Pushing her shoulder forward, she sat up and felt him move the cloth softly across her shoulders and down her back. Pulling her shoulders back to rest against the tub, she watched as his hand trailed the cloth over her taut nipples that were aching for his touch. Slowly he slid the cloth over her leg, letting it caress the soft skin of her inner thigh. The action was so simple but the feeling was so sensual and erotic she felt her womanhood explode with want. Opening her eyes and staring into his, her breath caught as she felt him trail his hand along where the cloth had been, slipping it under the water and in between her thighs. She arched her back and bit her bottom lip feeling his thick finger enter her as he rubbed her hidden bud of passion. Reaching up she pulled his lips to hers and she moaned again as his mouth devoured hers hungrily.

Daryl pulled away standing up and River watched in anticipation as he undressed slowly staring at her the entire time. Sliding his shorts off his need for her was apparent as his immense shaft sprang forward begging for her. River reached up sliding her hand down the length of him and watched Daryl's face as his hunger grew and his eyes glaze over from want. Grabbing her hand he pulled her to her feet and guided her out of the tub. Sitting down in the chair near the tub he pulled her with him, spreading her legs and straddling her body on his lap. Unpinning her hair sliding his hands through it, River groaned as she felt the length of him enter her, sliding so deep she thought she would explode immediately. River moved her hips slowly, riding his throbbing cock as his moans came low and deep. Moving her hips faster as waves of pleasure crashed over them, she was pleasantly shocked as he stood up still holding her, pushing her up against the wall. His thrusts became urgent as she felt her insides explode and convulse around his hardness. River felt his body shudder with his release. Kissing her deeply he walked holding and still inside her over to the bed. Sliding her onto the plush mattress, she couldn't help but feel a bit of loss as he pulled out. Laying down next to her, she watched him as he stared at her body, then traced her wound lightly with his finger.

"How you feeling?" he said quietly

River smiled at him

"A lot better now"  
Daryl chuckled and kissed her softly.

"Me too" he whispered yawning.

River watched as Daryl turned on his belly and closed his eyes. She was instantly pissed and he knew she was.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really tired" he explained

River lay there quiet for a moment letting her anger get the better of her.

"You sure it's not because the wrong woman is in your bed?"

Daryl sighed

"River don't.... I just can't right now. I told you I'm just tired"

River lay there quiet letting a million thoughts run through her head. Finally she turned on her side facing away from him. Things were different...the sex had been the same but their emotional connection after sex was gone. She couldn't remember him not putting his arm around her when he was going to sleep....tired or not. She wanted to cry but she couldn't. Her fear was too great.  
Getting up and slipping on his t shirt and her panties, she stared at his sleeping back. Part of her wanted to pack her things and go home, but Michonne’s nagging voice kept at her saying “Isn’t he worth fighting for?” Sighing, River climbed back in bed and lay there listening to his deep sleeping breaths. Maybe she was just making too much of this. He did after all come home to her and was lying next to her. Closing her eyes she began to drift off still holding onto her little bit of hope that everything was indeed OK.

“River” she heard a whisper

“River” a little hand shook her shoulder.

River opened her eyes and stared into the big green ones of Logan.

“Hey there buddy” she whispered   
“What’s wrong?”

Logan looked perplexed

“There’s a lady here”

River stared at him

“What do you mean?”

Logan shrugged his shoulders

“She said she wants to see daddy but he’s sleeping and I thought I would tell you instead” he whispered  
River nodded

“OK thanks sweetie, I’m getting up”  
Logan looked at her

“Do you want me to tell her you’re on your way?”

River shook her head.

“No, you stay here with me. I don’t like people we don’t know talking to you. Let me get dressed though. Cover your eyes for me.”

Logan did as he was asked and buried his face on the bed while she slipped on her jeans. Thankfully she had put Daryl’s t shirt on before falling asleep. It was a good thing he hadn’t woken Daryl, he was still naked and trying to explain why to a six year old would be a bit awkward.

“Ok let’s go” River whispered grabbing Logan’s hand.

Logan and River padded out of the room, closing the door softly behind them walking into the living room. There in the middle stood the dark haired woman from yesterday. River was immediately on edge.

“Can I help you?” River asked folding her arms in front of her.

The woman looked her up and down again, staring at her shirt, knowing it was obviously not River’s.

“I need to talk to Daryl.” She said

“He’s sleeping. I’ll tell him you stopped by though” River said dismissing the woman

“It’s an emergency” she said louder “I need to talk to him NOW”  
River sighed.

“Listen, if it’s an emergency then you should probably talk to Rick.”

River was a bit shocked at the woman glared daggers at her.

“I said I need to talk to Daryl, and I’m not leaving until I do!”

River heard the door open behind her.

“What’s going on?” Daryl said coming up behind her.

River turned to see him standing in his jeans and slipping a t shirt over his bare chest.

River looked at the woman who looked like a cat that just swallowed the canary staring at Daryl’s chest. It was taking everything she had not to punch her in the throat.

“She said she wanted to talk to you but I told her you were sleeping. She said it was an emergency so I told her she might want to talk to Rick if it’s that serious” River said staring at him.

“Oh…Um. It’s OK I’m up. Oh hey…River this is Jade, Jade this is River”  
River stared at her as Jade smiled a huge fake smile.

“Nice to meet you” she said sweetly  
River just couldn’t be that fake. She didn’t like her, not in the least little bit and she wasn’t about to act like it.

Nodding her head she said  
“Hey” softly.

That was all she was going to get.  
River felt Logan grab her hand and she turned looking at him and picked him up.

“You ready for some breakfast sweetheart?”

Logan nodded still staring at the woman. Just then Cheri and Hunter came down the steps looking at the woman completely confused.

“Oh wow” the woman laughed. “These all yours Daryl?”

Daryl gave one of this half smiles

“Yeah, this is Hunter and Cheri and River is holding Logan”

The woman nodded looking at River.

“Wow, none of them look like her, they all look like you!” she laughed.  
Daryl looking a bit uncomfortable explained

“She’s not their mom. She’s a friend”

If River wasn’t holding Logan she would have put her foot straight up Daryl’s ass. She was beyond pissed at this point.

“How about she tells you what this emergency is so we can get on with our day” River gritted through her teeth.

“Oh right” she laughed again “Well, Daryl…I just can’t stay in that place another night. I just don’t feel safe and I didn’t sleep a wink! I must look just dreadful. Anyway, do you know any other place I can stay that would be more private?”

Daryl looked at River then at Jade

“Um…I’m not sure. We can talk to Rick about it though. Come on I’ll walk you over there”

Daryl didn’t bother to turn around and look at River, he knew she was livid and ready to give it to him with both barrels.

River watched him leave with her and was so close to tears it was taking everything not to let them loose. Taking Logan into the kitchen, she set him on the counter and let her watch while she cooked breakfast. Watching out the kitchen window, River’s heart hammered in her chest watching Daryl carrying a bag walked with Jade down the street. Looks like she got her own place…imagine that.

River finished breakfast and fed the kids and went back into the bedroom to change. She needed some alone time and didn’t want the kids to see her fall apart. Changing her clothes and then picking up the room, making the bed and hanging the towels, her shoulders went rigid hearing the door open and close behind her.

“Hey” Daryl said

River continued to fiddle with the towel, keeping her back to him.

“Hey” she said softly

After a long silence River asked

“You find her a place?”

“Yeah” Daryl said softly “The blue cottage at the end”

River nodded…she knew it.

“Raven’s old place right?”

Another long silence until Daryl answered

“Yeah…..it was the only thing available. No point in putting her in a big house meant for a family and with your place being the only other small one it was the only option. I would put her in yours but then where would you stay?”

River nodded

“Right” she whispered

“OK well I better be getting back to my place. Thanks for everything” River said picking up her bag slinging it over her shoulder.

Walking past Daryl, still not looking at him she got to the door and felt his hand on her shoulder.

“River….I….” Daryl said but she cut him off

“Don’t Daryl……just don’t.” River said with her voice shaking, walking out the door.

Daryl rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes. What was he doing? He knew he was ruining everything with River but he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t deny the attraction to Jade. The first time he saw her it had almost brought him to his knees. He thought in some cosmic way Raven was alive and it had all been a mistake. She turned around and he saw she didn’t have Raven’s green eyes but still, she looked so much like her it made his heart ache. Didn’t he owe it to himself to see if maybe he could be happy again like he had been with Raven? Not that River didn’t make him happy….dammit! He thought punching the wall.

River walked briskly to her house and threw her bag in the corner and went straight to the bedroom. Diving under the covers, she wrapped her arms around herself trying to hold it together. Sobs wracked her body, she couldn’t remember ever feeling this low. Even at Negan’s she at least had her hate to hold on to, but now she had nothing but sadness that was eating a hole through her heart. River lay there all day and watched the sky turn to night still not moving. She didn’t care if she ever left the bed again.

River stayed like that for three days, getting up only to use the bathroom or grab something to munch on. She knew she looked and smelled like hell but she didn’t care. She was done with caring about anything. Finally on the fourth day she couldn’t stand herself anymore and stood under the hot water trying to rinse off her misery. Walking into the kitchen, she had to admit the shower did make her feel better. Looking through her cupboards she heard a knock on the door. She looked at it as her heart hammered in her chest. If it was him….looking out she breathed a sigh of relief opening the door.

“Hey Aaron” she said with little emotion

“Hey River” he smiled “Hey listen, Rick is having a town meeting tonight at 7pm in the church and he wants everyone there.”

River couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“Do I really have to?” she complained.

She was OK staying here just as long as she didn’t have to see Daryl

“It will be painless” he said laughing   
“Rick is just going to talk about new runs we’re going to take and also about a group he’s getting together to go help that other settlement rebuild”

“When is the group leaving?” she asked

Aaron thought for a moment

“Tomorrow I believe. Most of the group is already set, I think he’s just checking to see if anyone else wants to go.”

River nodded but couldn’t help asking another question

“Is Daryl going to help with the rebuild?”

Aaron stared at her for a moment looking a little confused

“Um no…..I don’t think so. Wouldn’t he tell you if he was?”

River stared at him as the wheels in her head started spinning.

“OK Aaron, I’ll be there” River said quietly.

Aaron still completely confused nodded his head

“OK see you there” he said while leaving still wondering what was going on.

River got to the church at 6:30, sitting near the front. She figured if she got there early enough and sat up front she could avoid seeing him and her. Watching people filter in slowly, she was glad when Rick finally began. As Aaron said he went over the rebuild group and the runs they had planned for food, clothes and medical supplies. River listened intently ignoring everything else around her.

Aaron stared at River then looked over at Daryl and couldn’t help shake his head. Hanging on him was a dark haired girl that looked a little like Raven, she of course wouldn’t take her eyes off him but looking at Daryl, he wasn’t taking his eyes off River. All he could think was what has he done this time?

Daryl stared at River and couldn’t help the ache he had in his heart. He missed her. He knew he couldn’t and wouldn’t say anything to her but he hadn’t realized just how close they had gotten and he missed her laugh and making him laugh….the kids missed her too and that was hard to deal with not knowing how to explain why she hadn’t been around. Looking at Jade, he just didn’t know what he was doing. Sometimes when he looked at her it was kind of like being with Raven again, but other times it was just so different. Watching her get up after the meeting and talk to Rick, he couldn’t help wonder what that was all about.

“Hey um, Rick?” River said quietly

Rick looked at her and for the first time she could remember, didn’t look like he wanted to punch her in the face.

“Yes River, what can I do for you?” He said

“I’d like to join the group going for the rebuild” River said

Rick looked surprised at her then looking at Michonne who shrugged her shoulders

“OK…what about your wound?”

“Doc took the stitches out a few days ago. I’m good to go.”

Rick stared at her then looked over her shoulder at Daryl and the dark haired girl that hung on him, finally getting it.

“OK River, I’m sure they’ll be happy to have you along. They’re leaving in the morning around 8 so make sure you’re ready to go”

River nodded saying “Thanks” and turned and left.

Daryl watched her walk out the front door of the church and it was taking everything he had not to run after her to find out what in the hell she was talking to Rick about. Walking out the back door, his mind was so far away he barely noticed Jade who still clung to his arm.

River packed her bags and sat and stared at the room. She was going to miss this place. A soft knock on the door sounded and her heart pounded again. Please don’t let this be him she thought. Looking out the peep hole, she sighed again in relief. Opening the door she smiled

“Hey guys” she said as Hunter, Cheri and Logan stood there.

“Hi River” they all said quietly

River immediately grew concerned…what was going on.

“Come on in” she said softly

She watched as they all filed in looking around at her place. Hunter immediately saw her bags

“Are you leaving?” he asked as all three stared at her

River couldn’t help it as her heart began to ache

“Yes. I’m going with the group to help rebuild that other settlement”  
She could see the tears well up in Logan’s eyes.

Stooping down she hugged him as he began to cry softly

“Shhhh” she said. “I’ll be back, I promise. I just need to do something to help and I thought this would be the best thing.”

She still couldn’t help to feel that something other than her leaving was still wrong.

“Guys…what’s going on? I can tell you’re really upset about something now tell me what it is.”

Logan looked at her and piped up

“Daddy’s new girlfriend is really mean to us”

River couldn’t help as the word girlfriend put a new dagger in her heart but the thought of someone being mean to them turned that hurt to anger real quick.

“What do you mean?” River asked.

Logan’s voice shook as he began to explain

“Hunter and I were going to go fishing so I was digging for worms. I found a really big one and wanted to show Hunter and I was walking with it and accidently tripped and got dirt and the worm on Jade. She smacked me and called me a brat. Hunter was going to tell dad but I don’t want him to. I don’t want dad to be mad at me again”

River was on fire. It was taking every bit of self control she had not to explode.

“Listen…I’m going to take care of this, she won’t be doing anything like that again. Aaron is going to be coming to the settlement to check in and if she does, I want you to tell Aaron because he will tell me and I will come back here and make sure she doesn’t do it again.”

She watched as they all nodded their heads.

“OK now give me hugs. I’ll probably be gone tomorrow before you’re up and I don’t want to cry in front of everyone, so we’ll say see you later here”

River felt her heart break each time one of them hugged her. She was going to miss them so much she could hardly stand it. She hated lying to them that she would be back, but she was telling them the truth that if she found out that whore touched them again, she’d have her ass.

“OK…I will see you guys soon. Be good for your dad”

River watched the three of them walk down the path to the street and then to their house. Flying out the front door she started making her way to Jade’s. This bitch needs to feel the fear of River.

Walking up to the front door, River couldn’t help but see through the front window, Daryl sitting in a chair and Jade sitting on his lap. She felt like her heart completely shattered. Taking a deep breath she turned the handle, it was unlocked. Throwing the door open she stood there staring at them while Daryl scrambled to his feet pushing Jade off his lap.

“River…I”

“Shut up Daryl. I don’t give a shit what you’re doing. I’m here for that bitch.” River crossed the room getting in her face “I swear to you, if you EVER touch those kids again or so much as say a cross word to them I WILL BEAT YOU. Do you understand me? If you have any doubts that I don’t mean what I say, ask Daryl what I will do. He’s seen my handy work first hand. I’m not kidding, do it again and you can kiss your ass goodbye you filthy whore”

River stormed out of the house leaving Jade and Daryl completely stunned. Walking back into her house her heart was racing and she felt like she could pass out. Turning as her door opened, all she could think of was beating the crap out of Daryl.

“GET OUT!!!” she screamed

Daryl stood there staring at her  
Her anger was on overload and she felt so dangerous. Daryl being here was not a good thing.

“Daryl, you need to get out. Now.”

“NO” he said “Not until you tell me what that was all about”

River looked at him.

“Your kids came to me because your new girlfriend smacked your son over an accident and called him a name. I realize you have your head completely up her ass but you better pull it out and take a look Daryl.”

Daryl stared at the floor and then looked at her bags

“You going somewhere?”

River sighed thinking you have got to be kidding me.

“Yes. I’m going with the group to help rebuild”

“Were you going to tell me, or say goodbye?” he asked

River looked at him. She could not believe he was being like this.

“Why would I tell you anything? Why would you care?”

Daryl was now getting frustrated.

“Dammit Raven, I never promised you anything!”

River stared at him.

“You haven’t called me that in a long time.”

Daryl looked at her confused

“What are you talking about?”

“You just called me Raven. You used to call me that when we used to fight the walkers, and even a couple of times during sex. I never said anything because I figured you were working things out. But now…it’s not acceptable. I’m not Raven, I will never be her….and neither will Jade. You’re out chasing ghosts Daryl and you’re going to ruin everything you worked so hard for. You need to wake up and realize that before it’s too late.”

Daryl stared at her dumbfounded.

“You need to leave now. I have to be up early. If you don’t leave, I will. Now please….go.”  
River watched him walk to the door and shut it behind him. She couldn’t help it as the tears began to fall down her cheeks. She was glad she got to tell him everything she had been thinking about but it still hurt to know that he really didn’t want to be with her. Sitting on the couch, she couldn’t wait for 8am.

The next morning River climbed the bus, holding her bag, trying so hard not to look out the window. She knew the kids had gotten up early to see her off and she had been through another tearful goodbye. Daryl stood there with no emotion just looking at her but she didn’t dare look at him. She knew this was the right choice but hated that it hurt so much. Feeling the bus lurch forward she pressed her face against the cool glass, remembering this was just how she arrived.


	12. A sign

Daryl walked into the house punching the door frame. I can't believe she left! Pressing his forehead to the wood of the door, yes he could. He could at least believe she left him, but the kids? Had he really done that much damage that she would just walk out of their lives? Of course he had done that much damage...it's what I do...he thought. He knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to hop on his bike, stop the bus and drag her back kicking and screaming but even if he did, it would never work with Jade still here. Daryl watched his kids come in the house all mopey faced, especially Logan.

"Hey little man, you OK?" he asked Logan

Logan looked at him with his big green eyes...Raven's eyes...and nodded.

"I'm OK dad" he said sadly

Daryl picked him up still looking at him.

His guilt was eating him up, he really had ruined everything. Kissing Logan's cheek and setting him down he whispered

"Go find your brother"

Daryl watched as Logan wandered off in search of Hunter. Turning, Daryl looked at Cheri painting her nails.

"I'll be right back Cheri"

"OK daddy" Cheri said absentmindedly.

Daryl walked back out the door, heading for Rick's.

"Rick!" Daryl yelled banging on the door.

Daryl watched Michonne walk around the corner looking at him curiously

"Come in Daryl, Rick and Devon are out picking apples but should be back soon. Anything I can do?"

Michonne looked at him more closely...he was a wreck. Perhaps Daryl cared a lot more for River than anyone thought, including himself.

"Yeah, Michonne I need a favor. You think the kids could come stay the night tonight? I just need some alone time."

Michonne nodded

"Of course Daryl...you going to go see Jade?"

Daryl looked at her like she had three heads.

"No" he said quietly "I'm going to go get shitfaced drunk"

Michonne nodded and smiled softly

"That was my next guess"

Daryl looked at her then looked at the floor as Michonne continued

"Why don't you send them over for dinner and then I'll ask them to stay"  
Daryl nodded

"Thanks" he said gruffly turning to go.

Daryl walked back out the door running into Rick and Devon

"Hi uncle Daryl!" Devon smiled

"hey Devon" Daryl said giving him a small smile. "I'll see you guys later" walking down the steps heading for his house.

Rick watched him leave and looked at Michonne as she came out on the porch

"What was that all about?" Rick asked her

Michonne looked off in the distance to where Daryl had been

"I think it's just now hitting Daryl what a huge mistake he just made and who knows...maybe he's found love again and he's just realizing that too"

Rick stared at her

"Jade?" he asked

Michonne looked at him

"Um no...you're so oblivious sometimes" she said with a smile and a kiss.

Daryl sat in his recliner letting the tumbler glass of whiskey hang from his finger tips watching the sun begin to set. His plan was to get shitfaced drunk and not think about her or anything else for awhile . He was probably shitfaced drunk but his brain wasn't cooperating. He remembered nights like this used to be the haunting was about Raven, but tonight it was so different.

"Raven" he whispered "I'm lost in what to do. You know I will always love you but I don't know...maybe I got another chance at being happy and I blew it. I don't know if I should just let it go or do something about it. I wish you would send me a sign...or do something to let me know you're alright with this"

Daryl put his head back and heard a soft knock at the door. Looking over he yelled

"Yeah?"

Watching the door open his heart sank seeing Jade.

"Hey there" she said all smiles

Daryl sighed. This was the sign? Well that's a disappointment, he thought.

"Oh my" she giggled "someone has had quite a bit to drink" she grinned, grabbing his glass and taking a drink while she parked herself on his lap.

Daryl stared at her. He had always wondered if she would kiss anything like Raven and decided he was just drunk enough to find out. Sliding his hand in her hair he brought her mouth down to his and kissed her. Pulling away he looked at her as she stared into his eyes, leaning in for another kiss. He was stunned in how he felt absolutely nothing for her and how much he would rather be kissing River right now...River and not Raven. He understood the sign. Abruptly he pushed her off his lap and stood up.

"I want you to leave."

Jade glared at him with her hands on her hips.

"Daryl...I'm not going anywhere"

Daryl stared at her

"Yes you are" he said he said dangerously quiet voice "River was right, I was only interested in you because you look a little like my dead wife, but truth is, you disgust me and you're not good enough to wipe her shoes. I can't look at you without feeling sick. You need to leave...now."

Daryl heard a sob from her and then the screen door bang as she ran from the house. It was probably a dick move but she deserved it for Logan's sake and it was truly how he felt. Besides he needed to get a couple hours of sleep and sober up...he had a road trip to get started on just as soon as he was able.

River looked up at the purplish sky watching the sun set and sighed. She couldn't help wondering what they were doing, if they had dinner and had brushed their teeth. She knew they weren't her kids, but she really had gotten attached to them. Maybe once she was over Daryl she could go back and still be close with them. She wasn't sure how long it was going to take to get over him, but if today was any indication, it would be a long, long time. Even the thought of him made her heart ache and tears spring to her eyes. She had wanted to do what Michonne suggested but honestly, how do you compete with a ghost? She knew eventually Daryl would see Jade for who she was, but it didn't matter. He was still looking for Raven and nobody else will do.

River looked at her new home but didn't think much of it. It was a lot more primitive than Alexandria. They had some running water and a little bit of solar power but it was basically shacks in a row surrounded by a run down fence. She wasn't even sure why they were bothering. River followed as a man took them around, showing them what needed fixed first. At least she'll have a lot to keep herself busy for awhile she mused.

Afterwards they had shown each of them back to their cabin as River tossed her bag on the floor and sat down on the bed and couldn't help think how much this was going to suck. Laying back on her cot she began to doze off dreaming of cries and screams. Bolting straight up she listened and realized the screams were not from her dream. Running outside, she was horrified as a wall of walkers crept towards the small village, destroying what was left of the walls.

River jumped into action and started yelling for people to run. She started hacking and slashing, hoping she could hold them off for a little while until most people got out to safety. She fought for all she was worth, but there was just so many of them. A peace then came over her as she thought how fitting it was that this would be the way she would die. Doing this was what had saved her. It had helped her with her anger, it had taught her how to be a better fighter and it had brought her the only man she had ever loved...Daryl. She was beginning to tire and she knew it was just a matter of minutes until...suddenly walker heads began exploding as someone fought next to her like a person possessed. River try to look but she couldn't stop or risk being over taken. She then heard his voice.

"When I count to three " he screamed "we run...head straight towards the main gate, my bike is there, we can get out of this"

River felt tears roll down her cheeks...how was this possible?"

"One...two...three! Run River!"

River felt him grab her hand and pull as she tried to run with him. Running for their lives they finally were on the outskirts of the hoard of walkers. River could see his bike and her energy was renewed. Sliding to a stop, Daryl fired up the bike and they were off just as she got her leg over the side. She held on tightly to him as he weaved in between the dead ones until they were finally in the clear. Daryl rode for another 20 minutes but then stopped the bike abruptly. Jumping off the bike and pulling her with him, he began checking her all over

"You bit? You scratched?"

River smacked his hand away

"No, I'm fine...are you?"

Daryl looked shining his flashlight around his body

"No, I'm OK"

Turning out the light, they stood there staring at each other until River spoke

"What are you doing here Daryl? Did you know this was happening?"

Daryl shook his head. All he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her but she didn't seem too happy to see him.

"I came to find you. To bring you back home" he said quietly.

River stared at him.

"Daryl, I can't go back there. I can't live like that...I deserve better. I deserve someone who's going to love me and wants to be with only me."

Daryl took a step towards her whispering

"I know"

River looked at him confused

"what are you do-"

River's words were cut off as he brought his mouth down on hers. She tried to push him away but Daryl could tell it was a halfhearted attempt and she stopped trying to push away when he pulled her body close to his. Pulling back and looking at her he said softly

"I know we need to talk about this and we will, but I have to get you home now. They're getting closer"

River listened and could hear what he was talking about. Nodding she watched him get back on the bike and slid behind him, wrapping her arms around his road for what seemed forever, the settlement had actually only been a little over an hour away but with the hoard and everything  
Daryl had to take a detour which ended up taking them a couple of hours out of their way. Finally seeing the sign for Alexandria Daryl slowed the bike pulling up to the gate. Watching the gate slide open, he pulled the bike in then parked it quickly jumping off the bike and grabbing her hand, he said

"We have to tell Rick what happened first. He'll want to go look for survivors in the morning"

River nodded her head just staring at him.

She ran to Rick's with him and watched as he banged on the door like a madman, doing his best to wake them up. Finally seeing a light turn on Daryl continued to knock until Rick and Michonne looking very sleepy and cranky opened the door.

"Daryl? River? What the hell is..."

Rick's words trailed off looking at their blood stained clothes and grim expressions.  
Rick was wide awake.

"Come in...what happened?"

Daryl began

"I went to the settlement to bring River back, when I got there all hell had broken loose. A huge pack of walkers took down the rest of their fences and pretty much bulldozed the place. I was in a panic trying to find her then suddenly there she was, trying to kill them all"

River stared at him and spoke

"Not exactly. I had fallen asleep and woke when I heard screaming. I ran out and saw them coming but there were still a lot of people trying to get out. I tried to hold them off as long as possible but I ended up getting trapped and surrounded by them...that's when you found me"

"River?" she heard a small voice say

River turned and saw Logan standing there and smiled as he ran just as fast as his little legs would take him launching himself onto her. River hugged him tight and rubbed his back as he cried.

"Shhhh it's OK" she said softly

Logan looked at her with his sparkly wet eyelashes and beautiful green eyes

"Are you going to stay now?" Logan asked

River looked at him not sure what to say

"Yeah little man, she's not going anywhere, she's home for good" Daryl told him.

Logan put his little arms around her neck again and laid his head on her was breaking her heart all over again, how would she ever be able to leave and get on with her life now?

River watched as Daryl picked him up off her lap telling him it was time to go back to bed. Turning and looking at River Logan said

"You promise you'll be here tomorrow?" he asked

River smiled at him

"Yes, I'll see you in the morning" she said blowing him a kiss.

Daryl took Logan back into the family room and settled him back on his sleeping bag watching him close his eyes and drift back to sleep. Walking back in the dining room, Daryl watched River point on a map where she thought any survivors might be. Listening to them talk quietly, he walked up behind her slipping his hand into hers.

"I'll be over in the morning and you can tell me when you want to head out. We need some rest, we've had a pretty tough night" Daryl said pulling River with him towards the door.  
Rick nodded

"Alright, see you in the morning" he said as Daryl had already pulled River through the front door.

Walking in a fast pace towards his house, River stopped and pulled her hand away. Stopping, Daryl turned and looked at her confused

"What's wrong?"

River stared at him, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

"What are you doing Daryl? I don't want to go to your house... I'll just see you in the morning."

River turned and started walking to her old place until without warning she was being lifted and thrown over his shoulder.

"Daryl! What the hell are you doing?!" River yelled.

Daryl didn't say a word as he marched towards his house carrying an extremely ticked off River who was also being watched by a very amused Rick. Michonne joined him looking out and laughed softly at the spectacle. Rick turned and kissed her and gave a small laugh

"They're quite the pair, aren't they?"

Daryl threw River on the enormous bed and then shut the door leaning up against it. Looking at her sprawled on the bed with her chest heaving, he knew she was furious but he couldn't help being instantly turned on.

"River..." he said quietly

"Don't River me Daryl, let me out. I'm NOT staying here with you. If you're lonely...call Jade".

She was off the bed now and standing in front of him looking like she was ready for a fight.  
Daryl stared at her...this was not at all how he had this evening planned. Daryl sighed

"Just give me five minutes. If you still want to leave after I say what I need to say to you, then fine you can leave."

River stared at him. Daryl could tell she was thinking about it, at least that was something.

"Daryl" she said softly "honestly I don't want to hear anything you have to say. I don't know what you were thinking...I mean did you think you would just kiss me and everything would be fine? It's too late., It's too late for any of this. I don't want to be here.". River stepped to him and put her hand on the door handle "Now please, let me go"

Daryl moved out of her way, staring at the floor as she opened the door quietly and walked through.

"River, I love you. I just thought you should know that" Daryl said softly.

Closing his eyes he listened for his front door to open and close but it didn't. Looking in the living room, he saw her standing there as still as a statue. Daryl walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. His heart hurt seeing her eyes filled with tears and the look of shock on her face.

"What did you say?" she asked softly

Daryl stared at her and then said

"I love you River"

Daryl watched as her tears fell down her cheeks, all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her.

"How?" she whispered "How can you go from telling me that you never promised me anything and then being with someone else to telling me you love me? I don't understand?"

Daryl sighed and grabbed her hand pulling her to the couch because she looked like her knees were ready to give out. Sitting her down, looking into her eyes he started to speak until she asked him another question

"Daryl...are you saying this because you want me to stay for Logan? You don't have to, I mean I'm going to stay, I know I can't leave him again but this doesn't have to be a part of it, we can be acquaintances or whatever"

"River will you shut up?" Daryl said getting frustrated.

River stopped and stared at him. Daryl began speaking softly

"It took me losing you to understand how I feel about you. I know that it shouldn't be that way, but it's the truth. When I watched you leave it was like part of my soul was gone and I didn't understand it. I got drunk...no, I got shitface drunk and I asked Raven for a sign to let me know that how I feel about you was OK. She gave me one so I came after you."

Daryl watched as River processed what he had told her but was stunned with her next question.

"Did you sleep with Jade?" River looked at the ground waiting for his answer.

Daryl took his finger under her chin, tilting her face up towards his

"No." he said staring into her eyes. "I'm not going to lie, I kissed her...once...but I'm glad I did.". River looked confused and mad again until Daryl continued "It didn't happen until after you left and I'm glad it did because after is when I knew."  
River stared at him still confused.

"Knew what?" she asked

"I knew that I felt nothing for her and that it was you that I wanted. Not Jade, not Raven...you. That's when I new I loved you and in some weird way that Raven was OK with it."

Daryl stared at her as she took all of this in. He had told her he loved her three times but she hadn't even thought to say it back. He had to know.

"River, look at me" Daryl said softly, watching as she turned her glistening eyes towards him

"Do you love me?"

Daryl watched as her eyes filled with tears again, and he watched as she tried to say what she was thinking... the suspense was killing him.

River nodded her head

"I do" she whispered. "I love you, but I'm scared to trust you again. How do I know another girl won't come into the picture that reminds you of Raven? I just don't want to go through that again."

Daryl felt his heart swell, she loved him. That was all that mattered, everything else they could work through.

"C'mere" he said softly sliding next to her and pulling her onto his lap as he continued "you were right...I was chasing a ghost. It won't happen again because I know now that she's really gone and there's nobody that will ever be able to replace her, no matter how much they look like her. I don't want you to replace her either, I have something totally new and different with you and I wouldn't give it up for anything. Like I said, I know it's bad that it took me losing you to realize it, but better late than never...right?"

Daryl and River stared at each other for a moment as he took his hand, cupping her face and lightly traced her bottom lip with his thumb. His entire body was aching to kiss and to touch her. Slowly he kissed the corners of her mouth then gazed into her beautiful silver eyes, waiting for her to show him this was what she wanted too. As he felt her arms slip around his neck, his mouth devoured hers. He couldn't help it as a groan escaped his chest as her sweet tongue slipped inside his mouth. Standing up while still holding her, he crossed the room quickly back to the bedroom. Kicking the door closed he set her on the bed staring at her lips that were swollen from his kiss. Leaning over her, not wanting to wait another second he devoured her mouth again while unbuttoning her shirt. Daryl felt her hand on his chest gently push him away while taking her lips from his whispering

"Daryl wait"

Daryl fell face first on the bed and groaned into the mattress. If she said no, it was going to be the death of him. He turned and looked at her after hearing her giggle.

"You're finding this torture funny? What kind of sicko are you?" he grinned

River smiled sweetly at him.

"I'm not saying wait forever, I'm saying wait for 10 minutes...I'm not feeling a whole lot of sexy with this crud all over me" she said looking at her blood stained clothes. "plus, I lost my bag of clothes again." she grumbled

Daryl kissed her deeply again then grabbing her hand pulling her up off the bed saying

"You're not going to need clothes for a few days anyway" he said giving her a wink.

Grabbing her hand and leading her into the bathroom, Daryl turn on the water in the walk in shower, holding his hand under the water until satisfied with the temperature. Turning and watching her back as she slipped her shirt off, he couldn't resist sliding his arms around her waist kissing and nibbling on her shoulder. Turning around River smiled softly sliding her hands under his shirt, lifting it gently over his head. Daryl stared down at her pink laced bra, licking his lips. Taking his thumb and first finger, he pinched the clasp exposing her perfect breasts. Sliding his thumbs gently across each nipple, his arousal grew watching each peak harden under his touch. Lifting her up onto the bathroom sink, kissing her wanting mouth he groaned as her nipples caressed his chest. Unbuttoning her pants he slid his hands down the back of them pulling her against his rock hard shaft. Kissing her deeply, Daryl felt her hands tug and pull on his jeans until they were undone and then felt a pleasant shock as her fingers slid over his toned backside pulling him tighter against her. Daryl couldn't wait any longer, yanking down her pants while stepping out of his own he entered her and his intense longing heightened as he heard her cry out in pleasure.

Picking her up and carrying her into the shower, he became lost in the want of her as the warm water caressed their bodies. Pushing her up against the cool tile his need became urgent burying himself completely inside her as her moans of pleasure drove him to the brink of madness. Feeling her soft and wet passage of womanhood that fit him perfectly, he suddenly felt her passion explode around him sending his own drive into a frenzy until he reached his own climax. Easing her down from the wall, he continued to kiss her under the spraying water.

Grabbing the liquid soap he lathered it in his hands and gave her a half smile as she looked surprised as he began to wash her body. Smiling she lathered her own hands sliding them over his chest and shoulders, washing all of the days worries and fear away. Rinsing off they stepped from shower when Daryl grabbed a large plush towel and wrapped her in it. Picking River up he carried her to the bed laying her down staring at her beautiful body. Crawling onto the bed next to her, he began softly rubbing the towel over her body drying every inch of her.

Kissing her softly he let his hands roam over every curve and crevice and heard her gasp as his fingers found her aqueous mound. Slipping one inside her he watched in fascination as her lips parted and her back arched. He felt her hand reach for him and slide down the length of him as his own body sprang again to life. Turning over and bringing her with him, he watched as she straddled him and guided his thick manhood inside her warmth. Feeling her hips grind against him, he slid his hands up her body feeling every wonderful inch of her. Feeling her own climax of pleasure explode inside her again, he released his own deep inside her.

Laying next to each other, trying to catch their breath, Daryl turned on his side and began kissing her softly again. He simply could not get enough of her.

"Wow" she whispered in between kisses

Daryl grinned

"Just think, that's just the beginning...I'm no where near done. I told you there would be no need for clothes for the next few days"

Daryl's heart melted hearing her laugh. He had missed that sound so much. Watching her start to make her way off the bed, he grabbed her arm

"Whoa, where you going?" he asked

River smiled at him

"I'm just slipping on your t shirt, your son has a habit of sneaking in to wake me up and I don't think he's ready for an explanation of this" she grinned

Daryl pulled her back down on the bed kissing her hungrily.

"That's why they made locks on doors for" he said getting up and locking the door.

River laughed louder as he jumped back on the bed landing next to her putting his lips right back on hers. Feeling him slide his mouth along her neck to her shoulder she whispered

"You mean to tell me you would lock your son out just so you can get yourself some of this?" she giggled

Daryl stopped and looked deep into her eyes and said softly

"Absolutely"

River lay watching Daryl sleep, pushing the hair back off his forehead...she was so happy she thought she would cry. Sighing she sneaked off the bed, slipped his t shirt over her head and unlocked the door. Slipping back into bed, she snuggled up next to him and sighed happily as his arm automatically wrapped around her. She couldn't be more happier than she was right then. He had said and truly meant that he loved her and for the first time in her life she was able to feel and return that love.


	13. Deceitful Ways

"Dad?"

Daryl opened one eye staring at his small son

"How did you get in here?" Daryl asked him

Logan looked confused

"Through the door?" he answered unsure

Daryl looked at a sleeping River cuddled up next to him with her cheek on his chest in what else, his t shirt. He had to chuckle and should have known she would have never been able to keep any of his kids locked out.

"What's wrong buddy? You hungry?" Daryl asked him

Logan shook his head

"No, I had breakfast at Auntie Mich's....I was seeing if River wanted to go fishing with me but she's all mushed up against you and won't wake up"

Daryl laughed softly at the "mushed up."

"Where's your brother? Won't he go?"

Logan looked at him kind of funny and shook his head

"No, he's working on his bike. He hasn't wanted to do much fishing since what happened with the boat and the storm awhile ago"

Daryl nodded. He understood but hoped he would be able to get Hunter over the fear of being on the lake sometime soon.

"Alright listen, River will probably go with you but she's pretty tired so you gotta let her sleep a little while longer. Those reels could use to be oiled...did Hunter show you how?"

Logan nodded

"OK, go ahead and work on them for a little while and maybe when you're done, she'll be awake" Daryl whispered

Logan smiled

"Thank you daddy!" he said running out of the room.

Daryl looked at River and pulled his arms tighter around her kissing the top of her head watching her smile softly

"You're in trouble" he said softly but smiled when he heard her laugh

"For what?" she said all wide eyed pretending to be shocked.

Daryl laughed and kissed her softly

"For that" he said pointing at the door "and for this" he said huskily sliding his hand under her shirt.

River giggled as Daryl kissed her neck still sticking to her story

"I don't know what you're talking about, you must have elves or something"

Daryl chuckled moving his lips across her collar bone.

"Yeah I got your Keebler right here"

Moving his lips down her stomach, he heard her breath catch as he slid his tongue along her panty line.

"DAD!?!" they heard Logan yell as they both groaned

"What?" Daryl yelled staring at River

"I um, I think I need your help. I kind of spilled the oil" Logan said a little nervous at the door

"Alright buddy, don't touch anything, I'll be right there" Daryl said back to him then continued

"and you...told you to keep that door locked, now you'll have to go all day thinking about what could have been " he said kissing her just above her aching womanhood.

River watched him roll off the bed and pull his shorts then jeans on still thinking about last night and what could have been this morning.

"Don't even look at me like that" Daryl groaned "That's not even fair, especially when I have oil clean up to do"

River grinned flipping over on her belly showing him her backside.

Daryl stopped, staring and saying quietly

"OK maybe not all day" he smiled slipping on his shirt.

"Wait, Daryl" River said sitting up. "I literally have nothing to wear besides this t shirt. Do you have anything I can put on until I see if there's anything at the pantry?"

Daryl thought a moment. "Maybe" he said slowly "hang on, I'll be right back"

River lay back against the pillows waiting for him to return. Closing her eyes still thinking about last night, she sighed dreamily. Grinning as the pants landed on her head she heard Daryl say

"Try those on"

River held them up looking. They were tan cargo shorts and looked a little small but she'd give them a try. Slipping them up over her hips she felt the cloth hug her body. They were tighter than she liked but would do until she found some other clothes.

"Where did you find these?" she asked

"They're Hunter's" Daryl grinned "Someone gave them to me for him but they were still a little big so I put them away and just now thought of them"

River looked at him rolling her eyes

"So....you're telling me I have the body of a 12 year old boy?" she teased

Daryl crossed the room grabbing her, sliding his hands over her rump kissing her deeply

"No" he whispered "Not on your life. Your ass looks so good right now, I'm thinking just forget the oil and lock that door"

"Dad? You on your way yet?" Logan yelled

River couldn't help but softly laugh against his lips as he groaned again.

"Yeah, just a second " Daryl yelled back then turned his attention back to River "Alright, I better get out there, after I'm going to run over to Rick's to see what he wants to do about that other settlement. I'd ask you to come with but I think Logan already has plans with you" he winked.

River smiled softly and kissed him "OK, I'm going to run over to the pantry store to see if they got any new clothes in that I can use until I get my bag back while you boys are on clean up duty"

Daryl and River walked into the living room and were greeted by a happy Logan who chattered to River about his planned fishing trip with her. Parting ways so she could "shop" River made her way down the street and to the pantry. Seeing Jenny inside, River waved and walked in.

"You're probably tired of seeing me" River grinned. Seems like she was always losing her clothes.

Jenny smiled "No! Come in! They just came back from a run and I think we have a fair amount that will fit you"

River smiled gratefully and began rummaging through the bins of clothes.

Daryl helped Logan with the oil spill, showing him how to clean it up with sawdust and a broom. Getting him back on oiling the fishing rods, Daryl excused himself and headed for Rick's. Knocking on the door, Rick appeared motioning for Daryl to come in. Daryl walked into the house looking around at the few others that had gathered there. Propping himself against the window sill, Daryl listened as Rick went over his plan to go look for survivors.

"I wanted to go this morning, but if this pack of walkers are as big as River and Daryl said, then I want to go with a full crew. Aaron and his group are due back today from their run and I'd like for them to be a part of this but we'll need to give them a nights rest so we'll leave tomorrow morning."

Everyone nodded and talked softly among themselves as Rick motioned to Daryl to join him in the next room. Daryl followed him and was curious to what was going on.

"Daryl" Rick started "I'd like to take River, I mean she's one of our best fighters but...." Rick's voice dropped to barely above a whisper "I'd like for her to stay here....Michonne is pregnant again but has been pretty sick with this one. Doc said she's fine but she's going to need more rest and I'd feel better if someone like River were here looking after things....know what I mean?"

Daryl nodded but felt the guilt eat him up. Here Michonne had been this sick but still took his kids while he went and got drunk.

"I'll talk to her, I'm sure she would be happy to help"

Rick nodded and clasped Daryl's shoulder "Thank you brother" he said. Daryl and Rick continued to talk softly but stopped in mid sentence when they turned and watched Jade walk through the door. Daryl couldn't help as a wave of anger passed over him. She really hadn't done anything wrong to him but he still needed to settle the score with her from smacking Logan.

"Rick" Daryl said quietly "we need to do something about her" he said nodding towards Jade "We need to move her to someplace else, I don't think River is going to be too happy living anywhere near her and I'm not either"

Rick nodded

"Alright, soon as we get back we'll figure out where to take her"

Daryl gave a short nod as he watched Jade approach them.

"Daryl? Rick?" she said softly "Can I talk to you about something?"

Daryl stayed silent and just stared at her as Rick nodded

"Sure Jade, what can I do for you?" he said

Jade looked nervous but started

"I'd like to leave this place"

Daryl felt relief flood through him and stared at Rick hoping he would let her leave right now.

Rick nodded at her

"That's fine, there are some other settlements around that might be a better fit for you. I'll check around and then take you there after we get back"

Jade shook her head

"No, I don't want to go to one of the other settlements. I still have friends and family in Florida and I want to get there. They have a settlement there too and that's where I need to go. I don't expect anyone here to take me, but I'd like a car if you can spare one so I can drive there"

Daryl stared at Rick. He knew the chance of Jade getting to Florida by herself alive wasn’t good but he hoped Rick would still let her try.

Rick shook his head

"I don't know Jade, it really isn't a good idea. It's a long drive and to do it by yourself? I can’t stop you If you really want to do this, I suppose you could but I'm going to strongly disagree with you doing it. We have plenty of vehicles and can spare one but I think you should rethink this"

Jade nodded

"I know, but I'll be fine. I'm going to pack tonight and leave tomorrow. Is it OK if I drive the car to my place so I can load it up?"

Rick shrugged

“I suppose it’s alright. I’ll have one of the guys in there drive one of the cars down to the cottage this evening.”

“Ok thanks” she said quietly then looked at Daryl “No hard feelings Daryl?”

Daryl shook his head. He felt kind of bad how he treated her, but not really. He knew she was a master manipulator and had smacked his kid so as far as he was concerned good riddance.

“Na” he said quietly “Take care and drive safe”

Rick and Daryl watched her walk out of the room and then out the front door and Daryl couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. He was so glad to have that done and over with. Joining the rest of the group in the other room, they continued to make plans for the trip tomorrow.

River walked down the street carrying a bulging bag of clothes towards Daryl’s to find her fishing buddy but stopped and watched as Jade left Rick’s, heading towards her. Walking slowly she watched as Jade reached her and walked past staring daggers. River sighed…she really wished Jade lived somewhere else, it was not going to be pleasant running into her all the time. Wondering what she was doing at Rick’s, River couldn’t help walking past catching a glimpse in the window. Imagine that, she thought knowing she should have known what she was doing there after seeing Daryl’s angel winged vest in the window.  
Heading towards Daryl’s, she heard a voice call her name

“River!”

River turned and saw Daryl striding towards her. Catching up he gave her a lopsided grin and a quick kiss.

“Hey, I see you got some stuff” he smiled

River didn’t mean to feel uneasy but she couldn’t help it knowing he had just seen Jade.

“Yeah, they had a few things” she said quietly

Daryl stared at her and could tell something was wrong. Remembering Jade had just left when he saw River walk past, he suddenly understood.

“Hey…I need to talk to you. Come with me”

Daryl grabbed her hand and her bag and walked her to his house seeing Logan still in the garage.

“River, I’m almost ready!” Logan called.

“OK…listen buddy, daddy needs to talk to her for a minute. She’ll come out and get you when we’re done”

Logan nodded his head going back to organizing his tackle box.

Daryl pulled River into the house and into the bedroom, stopping and looking at her. She was still bothered, he could tell and had to make this right as soon as possible.

“OK” he started “I have something to tell you…well two things to tell you and one you’re going to be really happy about but I’m not sure about the second”  
River stared at him and crossed her arms. She can be so stubborn he thought but knew it was one of the reasons he fell in love with her.

“OK” she said “spit it out”

“Jade is leaving” Daryl said watching her face relax and brighten “Rick wanted to move her to another settlement but she said no that she wants a car and is driving herself to Florida or something so Rick agreed, she leaves tomorrow”

He could tell she was happier but still worried about the other part.

“Daryl, please don’t tell me you have to go with her because if you do, that’s not going to happen…at least not without me.”

Daryl grinned and walked over to her, kissing her softly

“No…nothing like that. The second part you might be mad at first about but if you’ll hear me out then maybe you won’t be. Tomorrow Rick is taking a group back to your old settlement to look for survivors and survey the damage and see if it’s worth saving. He said he wanted you to go with us, but then changed his mind.”

“Daryl! That’s not fair! I’m a better fighter than most of his people and you know there will still be walkers there! He can't keep treating me like this! I haven't been out hunting walkers in forever!” River stormed

Daryl kissed her silent then began again.

“Hear me out?” he asked

River nodded her head but was still not happy.

“He changed his mind because Michonne is pregnant again and isn’t doing great with this one. She’s been sick a lot and he’s afraid of leaving her and Devon alone. He wants you to take care of his family….that’s a big deal River. If he’s asking you to do this, it means he trusts you completely. Considering where you guys were and now this….I think it’s pretty great.”

River thought about that for a moment and agreed. It was a big deal and one that she couldn’t ignore. She knew it wasn’t fair to make the kids stay at Michonne’s when she wasn’t feeling well.

“OK” River said pouting “I know it’s a really good thing and I’m happy he trusts me enough to help and look out for them but I still hate you’ll be there without me.”

"I know" he whispered kissing her tenderly at first until his desire burst into a red hot flame.

Daryl kissed her hungrily placing his hands on her waist lifting her up and setting her on the dresser. Pushing her legs apart he pulled her hips to him as he kissed her like it would be their last one. Stopping they stared at each other with heaving chests and River began unbuttoning her pants while Daryl went to the door, kicking it shut and locking it. Daryl quickly strode back to her devouring her mouth again as he helped her yank her pants down. Fumbling with his own, he could not get them off fast enough. Finally getting them down, he stared into her eyes as he felt her fingers lightly stroke his backside, pulling him closer to her. He watched her face as he entered her, as her lips parted and her eyes filled with desire. Thrusting deeply into her he felt her legs wrap around him as her full mouth searched for his. Slipping his tongue deep with her mouth he kissed her while sliding his hands under her rump. Lifting her up while still deep inside her, he walked to the bed throwing her down on it. River looked at him in wonder but moaned loudly as he flipped her over, bending her over the bed and drove into her from behind. River cried out as she reached her climax quickly, feeling Daryl also reach his as he exploded inside her.

Daryl lay on top of her for a few minutes until River felt his laughter rumble in his chest across her back.

"What's so funny?" she asked turning over looking at him.

Daryl grinned kissing her softly.

"I had planned on making you wait until tonight and then torturing you until you lost your mind and begged me to take you but all you have to do is puff out that bottom lip in a pout and I'm doing whatever I can to get your clothes off"

River grinned at him

"That's all it takes? I'm going to have to remember that" she said before squealing in laughter as he grabbed and tickled her.

Laying there kissing him softly, River smiled pushing his hair back from his beautiful blue eyes.

"You can still torture me later, you know... I won't complain" she smiled

Daryl grinned  
"Oh yes you will, I'm going to make you complain a lot....a lot of moaning and groaning" he said as they both started laughing

"River?!" they heard at the door

"One minute Logan" Daryl called back

"That poor kid" River sighed "Alright I'm out of here, where's my bag of clothes? I need new pants, those ones are a little tight"  
Daryl smiled pulling his shorts and jeans on

"The bag is there, but you should put them in those drawers, I cleared out three of them for you". he said kissing her softly

River looked at him a little surprised.

"You sure?"

"Yeah" he said softly "I think it's time you stopped living out of a bag and stayed here. There's no point in staying at the other place, if you're there I'm going to want to be there but I can't leave them so I'd make you stay here anyway"

River smiled at him as he kissed her again continuing

"besides, I love you, remember?"

River laughed and kissed him back whispering "I love you too"

Grabbing a pair of jeans River headed for the bathroom to finish getting dressed while Daryl entertained Logan until she was ready. Walking out into the living room Logan jumped up excitedly

"You ready River?"

River smiled at him

"Yep, sure am....Daryl you want to go with us?" River asked

"Na, you guys go ahead, I gotta pack a few things and go talk to Aaron since he's back. You two have fun and be safe" Daryl said kissing Logan on top of the head and then giving River a soft slow kiss that sent a delicious shiver up her spine.

Logan and River walked to the pond chatting and laughing already having a wonderful time. Rounding the corner to the pond, River couldn't help but glance at the cottage and the small blue car parked in front of it. Daryl had been right, she really was leaving. Smiling even more, they made their way onto the pier and got ready to fish the day away.

River sat listening to Logan chatter about this and that when suddenly the hair on the back of her neck stood up. Turning slowly she looked behind them but didn't see anything except the tall grass blowing in the wind. River turned back around but couldn't shake the uneasy feeling she had that someone was watching them. Looking at Logan she was sad she had to cut short their fun but she just felt she needed to get him out of there.

"Hey Logan I know we've only been here a couple of hours but I think we should head back. I wanted to make that chicken you and Hunter liked so much for dinner but I'd have to leave now to get it ready."

Logan looked at her

"Awwww" he said disappointed "OK I guess"

River thought a moment

"How about we go and if you help me with dinner then tomorrow after your dad leaves we'll come back and fish some more and whatever we catch I'll make for dinner"  
Logan smiled

"OK River"

Logan and River collected their stuff and began heading back. River couldn't help keeping a wary eye out and her hand on her knife, she still had that uneasy feeling and it didn't let up until they were almost home. Walking into the kitchen she began pulling out pots and pans, happy to be cooking a meal for all of them again. It ad felt like such a long time since they had one together.

River laid her head on Daryl's shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her, laughing and watching the kids play a board game. She was so unbelievably happy it almost scared her. Watching the kids begin to yawn, Daryl scooted them off to bed walking up with them to tuck them in. River hurried into the bedroom and rifled through her drawers. Finally finding what she was looking for, she ran into the bathroom to change. Brushing her honey colored hair out she looked at herself in the mirror wearing the light blue nightie she had found earlier at the pantry. She had tucked it between the clothes and had hoped nobody had noticed. She felt a little bit weird and nervous because she had never worn anything like this and now, looking at the sheer fabric she wasn't sure she should.

"River?" She heard Daryl call

"In here" she said back "I'll be out in a second" She couldn't believe how nervous she was! If Daryl laughed she would be mortified. Taking a deep breath she walked out the door snapping off the light, walking slowly around the corner. Looking at Daryl already undressed down to his boxers lying on the bed, she felt almost naked standing there. At least he wasn't laughing. She could almost feel his eyes travel up and down her body and felt her cheeks warm with a blush.

"C'mere" Daryl said softly

River walked towards the bed but Daryl stopped her a few feet away. Looking at him confused not sure why he stopped her until he said quietly

"I just want to look at you for a moment....you are so unbelievably beautiful"

River felt her cheeks warm again but then enjoyed as other parts of her began to warm as well. She watched as Daryl sat up on the edge of the bed and reached for her hand pulling her to him. Cupping her face in his hands he kissed her so sweetly she thought she might cry. Suddenly she felt herself being swept up in his arms still being kissed slow and deep. River felt the soft mattress under her as Daryl placed her on the bed. She opened her eyes watching him slide onto the bed next to her while he continued to stare at her body that was still wrapped in the soft fabric. Slowly his fingers pulled at the ribbon that tied the gown together and River felt chills as the fabric slipped softly down her skin exposing her breasts that ached for his touch. Feeling his hot mouth kiss and tease her hardened nipples, River ran her fingers through his hair moaning softly as his mouth began trailing down her stomach. She watched him as he slowly pulled the ribbons on the sides of the panties that held them together feeling them slip off her skin. Biting her bottom lip she whimpered as he slid his tongue along her inner thigh wanting so badly his mouth to claim her enflamed womanhood. River moaned from a deep place as she felt his tongue slide along her throbbing bud of passion. Feeling his finger slip inside her while he continued to tease her clit with his mouth, she couldn't take anymore and began to beg him to take her.

"Daryl please" she whispered "Please...I need you now...I want you inside me so badly"

Daryl stared at her and she could see how much he wanted that too. Sliding his mouth to hers she felt his thick pulsating rod slip inside her, filling her completely. Wrapping her legs around his waist she felt him go deeper and couldn't help crying out in pleasure as she felt him touch her secret spot from within. Daryl's strokes were slow and deep which made the sweet ecstasy drive her to the brink of madness.

"Daryl please" she begged in dire need of her sweet release

Daryl's strokes became harder and faster as she felt the waves of desire crash over them finally bringing her to the point where she felt her body explode and then drift in the heavenly floating feeling as she felt Daryl tense and shudder finding his own release.  
They lay there kissing softly until River couldn’t help but giggle

“You weren’t kidding about the begging part” she smiled

Daryl looked at her and smiled back

“That wasn’t even half of what I wanted to do to you. I have zero willpower when it comes to you” he complained causing her to laugh again.

River played with Daryl’s hair as he lay his head on her chest, closing his eyes. River listened to his deep breathing and smiled closing her own eyes. She was so happy she didn’t think sleep would ever come but eventually she settled into her own peaceful sleep, dreaming of everything they did and would do for the rest of the night.  
River stood blurry-eyed with the kids staring at Daryl. He had woken her several times during the night to make love to her again and as much as she enjoyed it, she was so very sleepy this early morning, seeing even the sun wasn’t up yet.

“OK guys, I gotta go. I should be back by tomorrow evening so it won’t be too long. Take care of each other.” Daryl said softly. Kissing Hunter on top of the head and giving him a hug he said

“Love you lil’ D”

Hunter hugged him back “Love you dad”

Daryl kissed and hugged Cheri “Love you Cheri”

“Love you daddy” she smiled and hugged him back

Daryl looked at Logan all sad, picked him up and kissed his cheek, hugging him tightly. “Love you Logan…take care of River for me”

Logan gripped his neck and hugged as tight as he could

“Love you daddy and I will”

Daryl put him back down and looked at River smiling softly

“I love you River” kissing her softly as he heard his kids giggle.

River smiled back “Love you too”

She was happy that the kids seemed to be OK with everything but she still hated he was going, and without her. They watched as Daryl picked up his small satchel giving them one last smile and walked out the front door. Looking at their sleepy faces she said

“OK, how about you guys go back to bed for a little bit and then when you wake up we’ll have some breakfast?”

All three nodded and wandered back upstairs back to bed. River went to the window, watching Daryl climb onto his bike, feeling a slight ache in her heart. Watching him take off through the gates all she could think was she wished he was back already.  
Laying down on the couch, cover up with the blanket River dozed off until a little voice woke her a few hours later.

“River” he whispered

River smiled opening her eyes

“You hungry?”

Logan smiled nodding his head. River sat up and ruffled his hair then walked into the kitchen. As River fried the bacon and eggs she smiled as Hunter and Cheri came downstairs knowing the smell had probably brought them.

River looked at them as they all sat around eating breakfast

“What are you guys doing today?” she asked

Hunter looked at her

“Dad asked me to change the oil in the truck so I’ll be working on that for a little while”

Cheri tilted her head thinking

“Rosie asked me to come over and help her try out this new curling iron they got during a run so I think I’ll be over at her house”

River looked at Logan and smiled as he grinned at her

“I’ll be with you fishing!”

River nodded

“Yep, but first I’m going to go check on Devon and Michonne. Just give me a little bit and we’ll go”

“OK” Logan smiled

River cleared the breakfast dishes and washed and put them away as the kids dressed and went on with their day. After, River walked over to Michonne’s knocking softly on the door

“River!” Michonne smiled walking to the door “Come in”

River walked in smiling at Michonne asking her

“How you feeling?”

But before Michonne could answer they both turned, staring out the door as Jade’s blue car drove by slowly. Watching it drive to the gate and then out, River let out a sigh of relief.

“That bad huh?” Michonne asked her

“River looked at her

“You have no idea how much I wanted to hurt that woman” River said then continued “Not really because of Daryl…..I mean yeah I was mad about that, but she hit Logan”

Michonne looked at her shocked

“Oh my! She did?”

River nodded

“Yeah the kids came and saw me when it happened. I blew up at Daryl and told him what an idiot he was being and thankfully he finally listened.”

“Good riddance to bad trash” Michonne said softly looking back out the door.

“OK, enough of that, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?” River asked.

Michonne looked at her and crossed her arms.

“Oh no he didn’t…..you’re my babysitter I presume?”

River grinned a little bit embarrassed

“Not really, he just wanted me to check on you guys.”

Michonne nodded

“Mmmhmmm” she said with a small smile

River couldn’t help but laugh

“Well, whether you need me or not, I’m here…but if you do need something, please let me know. I’m taking Logan fishing after I leave here but Hunter is in the driveway changing the oil on the truck, so he can come get me if you need anything.”

Michonne looked at her for a minute then shocked River by hugging her.

“Thank you River” she smiled.

River left Michonne’s and felt pretty good about everything. Going into the garage looking for Logan and the fishing gear, she saw everything was already gone.

“Hunter? You see Logan?” River asked him

Hunter said from under the truck

“Yeah, he went to the pond after breakfast to set everything up for you guys.”

“OK thanks” River smiled thinking how excited Logan was to fish with her again.

River walked down the street feeling on top of the world. Jade was gone, Daryl loved her and she was about to spend the rest of the morning and afternoon fishing with one of her most favorite people on the planet. Round the corner to the pier, River stopped and stared. Walking slowly through the grass to the pier she looked around. No Logan, no fishing gear. What’s going on? She thought. This isn’t like him. Calling out his name, she waiting to hear back as her heart began to beat a little faster.

“Logan!” she yelled again.

Nothing.

River ran to the edge of the pier looking around. What if he fell in?” Looking in the water she couldn’t see any sighs that he had even been there. What the hell is going on? Walking quickly back through the grass, thinking….maybe he had come back home and was waiting for her in the house? Picking up her pace she walked back through the tall grass hitting the road when something caught her eye. Seeing a bit of orange by the bushes of Jade’s old place, River walked over there with her heart pounding. The closer she got to it, her fear became a reality. The orange was from the fishing bob that Logan usual had at the end of his line. Looking behind the bushes she cried out as all of Logan’s fishing gear lay there.

Running to the front door, she turned the handle and ran in screaming Logan’s name. Going from room to room yelling, she received no response back. Flying back out the door, River sprinted to Daryl’s house flying through the door, screaming Logan’s name. Nothing. Hunter hearing her scream came walking though the door looking confused.

“River? What’s going on?”” he asked

River looked at Hunter

“Hunter, are you sure he went to the pond? He wasn’t there, nor was his fishing gear. I found it behind some bushes. Did he say anything about going for a ride with anyone or anything like that?”

Hunter shook his head looking scared

“No, all he said was that he was going to the pond. You don’t think he fell in do you?”

River shook her head.

“No…I don’t think he ever made it to the pond. Come with me, I need to go see Michonne”

River and Hunter ran to Michonne’s banging on the front door. Michonne came to the door a little alarmed.

“River? Hunter? What’s going on?” she asked

“Michonne, Logan wouldn’t be here playing with Devon would he?” River almost begged

Michonne shook her head

“No…I thought he was going fishing with you?”

River’s heart was in her throat. She knew what had happened, she just didn’t want to believe it.

“No, he never made it to the pond. I found his fishing gear behind a bush in front of Jade’s old place” she could barely get out.

Michonne took her hand and covered her mouth.

“Oh God…do you think?”

River nodded her head.

“What better way to punish us by taking someone we both love and who really can’t fight back? Michonne I need to go after her.”

Michonne nodded

“Let me see if there’s a vehicle available” she said

“Wait” Hunter said “Dad’s truck is ready and is full of gas. We can take that.”

River looked at him and nodded

“OK thanks Hunter, but sweetheart you have to stay here. Someone has to be here incase Michonne needs something. I’ll go and I promise you I’ll bring your brother back.”  
Hunter looked like he wanted to argue but thought better of it and nodded.

“OK, let’s go. I’ll be back as soon as possible. If Daryl gets back before I do, please tell him I’m sorry and I’ll do everything I can to find him.”

River gave Michonne a quick hug and ran out the door with Hunter who threw her keys to the truck. River watched as Hunter ran to the gate, pulling it open quickly as she jumped in the truck and started it up. Hitting the gas and squealing the tires, River took off through the gate hoping to hell she would be able to find them.


	14. Desperate Times

River drove like a bat out of hell down the road. She had to be at least twenty minutes behind them and she had to make up for that in a hurry. She also knew she had to make sure she stayed aware of her surroundings in case Jade had made a turn or stopped somewhere. Flying just as fast as the truck would take her, River tried to watch on either side of the road for anything.

"Please God" she prayed "Just give me one sign to where they are. Please help me find him.

Raven if you can hear me...please...anything!"

River could feel her hot tears stream down her face feeling more panic the longer it took to find them. Why would she take him? She doesn't even like kids! Maybe Daryl or even she hadn't been nice to her but Logan never did a thing! She knew this was a punishment and wanted to be sick knowing how scared Logan must be at this very moment.

River drove for almost an hour when suddenly she came to a screeching halt. Jumping out of the truck, she stood in the middle of the road crying

"No...no no no!" Looking in four different directions at the intersection.

Now what?

River could feel the panic in her chest and slammed her fist on the hood of the truck in frustration. She thought about trying to make it back to the other settlement to tell Daryl what happened but she wasn't even sure how to get there either. Should she pick a direction and hope for the best?

She couldn't help it as the sobs wracked her shoulders. Never had she felt so completely helpless and hopeless. Sliding back into the truck, she turned it around and began heading back to Alexandria praying she missed something along the way and would find a clue to where they had went.

*******************************************************************************************

Rick looked at Daryl staring off into space and chuckled.

"Can't seem to stop thinking about her can you?" he grinned

Daryl smiled but Rick could tell wasn't happy.

"What's wrong Daryl?"

Daryl shrugged

"I don't know...just a bad feeling I can't shake." Daryl frowned.

Rick stared at him. He had known Daryl for a very long time and the one thing he had come to know was that you never doubt Daryl's gut about something.

"Alright well, let's make short work of this then. We check for survivors, that's it. If we find some, we load them on the bus, if not we head back. Either way we'll head back by this evening"

Daryl nodded his head, grateful Rick understood.

Daryl and the group took care of the few straggling walkers and began going through what was left. Daryl opened the door to the third cabin and looked inside seeing a bag lying near a bunk. Picking it up, he looked inside and smiled, it was River's bag. After looking inside it, something caught his eye. Reaching in he pulled out a folded piece of paper that turned out to be a picture of him and the kids Michonne had taken before he met River. It touched his heart deeply that she had taken this. Realizing even though she had left, he knew for certain she had never wanted to forget them. Sliding the picture back into the bag, Daryl slung it over his shoulder and headed back out.

Daryl checked a few more cabins and was glad he was able to find some survivors. Directing them to the bus, he went in search of Rick to see what he had found. Daryl smiled as he saw Rick lead a group of about 20 out of a larger building. He thought about River again, the way she fought that night had probably saved most of these people's lives and he knew she'd be happy to know that this many survived. Watching Rick load them on the bus, they went quickly through the rest of the place finding no one else. Rick looked at Daryl and nodded

"Truthfully I don't think there's much more here worth saving anyway. Most of the walls are down and any food they had growing had been trampled. I think we should just cut our losses and head back"

Daryl nodded back and was relieved they would be home soon.

*******************************************************************************************

River drove back towards Alexandria this time a little slower looking for any sign that they were still in the area. She looked high and low and her heart sank a little more each time she didn't find anything. Coming around a curve, River slowed then stopped looking at a hidden dirt road in her rear view mirror. Was that fresh tire prints? River backed the truck up looking out her window...there were fresh tire tracks. Turning the truck she felt her heart quicken as she followed them along the dirt road of the wooded area. She tried not to go too fast, afraid she might miss something but she couldn't help to feel a sense of urgency the deeper she drove into the forest. With her heart just about to pound out of her chest she slowed the truck seeing Jade's blue car pulled off to the side. River pulled the truck up behind the car to make sure she couldn't drive it anywhere in case she couldn't find them.

River got out of the truck and looked around on the ground by the car. Finally spotting two sets of prints, one definitely smaller than the other, her heart raced again. Logan had still been alive at this point. River went through the woods quickly following the shoe prints until she reached a clearing. Looking around she spotted Jade sitting by a small lake, trying to put something in the water. River started running as fast as she could. She could see Jade more clearly now and what she was holding in the lake. Oh my God, she thought. She was trying to drown Logan!

River ran even harder and couldn't help screaming as she neared her. Watching Jade turn around, she slashed at her with her knife, catching her across the cheek. Jade rolled out of the way and stood up to run, staring at River. River looked at her and all she could think of was how much she wanted to kill her but then seeing Logan's lifeless body still in the lake, she knew she had to pull him out. Taking a step towards Logan, River watched as Jade took off running.  
Looking at Logan face down in the water, River grabbed him, pulling him out and rolling him over on his back. River cried out seeing how blue his little lips were. Realizing he wasn't breathing, River began pumping on his small chest and giving rescue breaths in between.

"Come on sweetheart, don't leave me...you can do this" she whispered as she continued to pump on his chest.

Suddenly water came from Logan's mouth as he coughed and took a ragged breath. River cried holding him close to her chest.

"Logan sweetheart it's me, its River...you're safe now"

She looked at his small face, he was still unconscious but he was breathing. Picking up his small body, River began to run as fast as she could back to the truck. Making her way through the thick forest she finally arrived back at the truck also seeing the blue car was still there. Laying Logan onto the front seat of the truck, River shut the door and ran to the blue car. Taking her knife she drove it into each tire...if Jade was getting away, it wouldn't be by car. Jumping into the truck, River turned it around and headed back out the old dirt road. Finally hitting pavement River hit the gas and flew to Alexandria as fast as the truck would take them.

River felt like it took forever but they were pulling up to Alexandria within 20 minutes. Blasting the horn screaming "OPEN THE GATE!" River waited impatiently as they slid the gate open. Pulling the truck in, River slammed it into park, jumping out and running to the other side she pulled out a still unconscious Logan and went running to the medical building.

Michonne, hearing the commotion, looked out the window just in time to see River running by carrying Logan.

"Thank God" she whispered and went running after them.

River slammed the door open carrying Logan to the hospital bed yelling as loud as she could for the doctor. Finally seeing him come through another door, River cried

"Help him...please help him"

The doctor started going over Logan asking River several questions about what happened. After she explained what she knew, the doctor nodded and continued to check Logan over. Not being able to take his silence anymore, she had to ask

"Will he be OK?"

The doctor looked at Logan for a bit, then turned to River

"He has a nasty bump on the back of his head which is probably why he's still unconscious. His breathing is clear so you were able to get all the water out of his lungs which is very good...it's just a waiting game with his head injury. I won't know much more if or when he wakes up"

River stared at the little boy lying on the bed and couldn't help the tears that ran down her face.

"River" the doctor said quietly "You did good, you saved his life. He now has a chance of pulling out of this"

River nodded still staring at Logan. Pulling a chair up next to his bed, she sat down in it, curling her feet under her and waited. She vowed not to leave his side until he opened those pretty green eyes of his.

Michonne entered the room quietly staring at Logan, then a devastated River. Looking at the doctor, he explained to her what was going on. Michonne nodded and walked to River, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"River...I'm here. I'm going to send someone to the other settlement to get Daryl"

River nodded, not taking her eyes off Logan.

Michonne left through the door, standing outside trying to decide who to send after Daryl, when suddenly the gates were opening and Daryl came riding in on his bike. Michonne took off running and met Daryl as he brought his bike to a stop. Turning it off, he could tell something was really wrong by the look on Michonne's face.

"It's Logan, he's in the hospital, River is with him"

Daryl took off running before she could say another word.

Daryl opened the door, looking inside seeing Logan unconscious lying on the bed and River curled up in a chair staring at him.

"River?" he choked

River turned slowly to look at him

"Daryl?" she cried softly

Daryl crossed the room and had her in his arms within a matter of seconds. Feeling her body shake with sobs and hearing her whisper "I'm sorry" over and over Daryl felt a panic creep in not knowing what had happened.

"River...shhhh. Honey you have to calm down and tell me what happened. Was it an accident?"

River shook her head

"N-no" she stuttered "It was Jade"

Daryl stared at her

"Jade?" he said softly

River nodded

"I made breakfast and told Logan we would go fishing after I was done cleaning up and checked in on Michonne. After I did, I didn't see Logan and Hunter told me he had already left for the pond so I walked there and knew right away the Logan hadn't made it there. I found his fishing pole sticking up a bit behind some bushes at Jade's place and I knew then that she had done something. Daryl, Michonne and I watched her leave, we would have never thought she would have Logan with her. I'm so sorry"

Daryl hugged her while staring at Logan

"How did you get him back?"

River sighed and sniffled

"I took your truck and went after them when I realized what she had done. I found fresh tire tracks on a dirt road so I followed them and found her car. I saw their foot prints so I followed them and found her trying to drown Logan in the lake" she choked before continuing "Daryl, she got away. I tried to stab her but I missed and she ran but Logan was in the lake and not breathing so I couldn't go after her. I pulled Logan out of the water and he wasn't breathing, I gave him CPR and thankfully the water came back up and he started breathing again. Doc says that he has a nasty bump on his head...she must have hit him with something. He's been unconscious ever since."

Daryl nodded hugging her closer as she began to cry again. Sitting down in the chair by the bed, Daryl pulled River down cradling her on his lap trying to comfort her as he looked at his son. Hearing her sobs lessen he spoke softly.

"River, you have nothing to be sorry for, if anything I should be the one who's sorry, I'm the one that brought that psycho here and almost destroyed all our lives. You saved Logan's life...he's going to be OK, I know it and that's because of you"

Daryl kissed her softly, wiping the tears off her cheeks

"Daryl" she whispered "She can't live. Once Logan is better, I have to go after her."

Daryl nodded

"I know" he whispered back "Is she still in her car?"

River shook her head

"No, when I found her car I parked your truck against it so she couldn't move it and then when I got Logan to the truck, I stuck my knife into all the tires so she couldn't drive it. She's on foot"

"Daddy? River?" a small, hoarse whisper came from Logan

River and Daryl were immediately by his bed.

"Hey buddy" Daryl kissed his forehead "How you feeling?"

Logan nodded his little head but winced

"My head hurts a lil' and my throat"

Daryl kissed his forehead again

"I know...shhhh...try not to talk. River is here, I'll be right back, I'm going to go get the doctor"

Logan looked at him and slightly nodded

"How did you find me?" he whispered

Daryl smiled knowing how impossible it would be for his little chatterbox not to talk

"River found you and you're safe now...I'll be right back"

Daryl stood up and headed for the door leading to the Doctor's other office while River looked at Logan, smiling through her tears.

"Hey sweetie" She smiled kissing his cheek "Glad you're awake, I was pretty worried about you"

Logan smiled warmly at her but then got a look of confusion on his face.

"How did you find me River?" he whispered

River smiled at him and pushed his hair back from his face.

"You left me a great clue, I saw your bobber sticking up from behind the bushes. When I saw that I knew you had never made it to the pond and that Jade had taken you. I went and got your dad's truck and came looking for you. I saw where she turned on a dirt road and that's where I found you."

Logan nodded his head, thinking.

"She's not very nice River….she asked me to help her with a bag so I walked over to help but she hit me with something and when I woke up I was in her car. I started crying because I was scared and she started yelling at me. I'm so glad you found me River." Logan said putting his little arms around her neck.

River couldn't help the fresh tears that leaked from her eyes from joy that he was OK.

"Me too Logan, me too" she whispered "OK you said your throat kind of hurts? I think we still have a few of the fruit popsicles I made, it might feel good on your throat…you want me to get you one?"

Rivers smiled as she saw Logan's eyes light up and nod his head.

"OK" she continued "Soon as your dad and the doctor get back, I'll run and get you one."  
Soon as River said that the door opened with Daryl and the Doctor walking back into the room.

River stood up, kissing Logan on the cheek again whispering "Be right back."

Walking past Daryl he looked at her wondering.

"Logan wants a popsicle for his throat, I'm going to go grab him one." She whispered giving him a quick kiss.

Daryl nodded kissing her back then turned and walked towards Logan's bed.

River began making her way to the house when she spied Rick, Michonne, Hunter and Cheri standing on Rick's front porch. Making a detour, knowing they would want to know Logan was OK she quickly walked over to where they were.

Getting closer to the porch she could tell they were all holding their breath, waiting for her to say something.

"He's awake" she smiled "He's talking and wants a popsicle"

She smiled even bigger watching them all breathe a sigh of relief and hug each other. Hunter and Cheri flew down the steps and surprised her by hugging her super tight.

"Thank you River" they both said softly.

River smiled at them.

"I'm just glad I was able to find him. I think he'd love to see both of you…your dad and the doctor are looking him over but if you want you can go ahead and go over."

Hunter and Cheri smiled broadly and took off running towards the infirmary. Michonne walked down the steps slowly and hugged her.

"Thank God for you River….Daryl wouldn't have been able to take losing someone else in his family." Michonne said quietly

River nodded

"I'm glad I was here….thank Rick for asking me to stay. If I hadn't been here things might have been different"

River was shocked as she felt Rick slide an arm around her shoulders and squeeze kissing the side of her head.

"I will never doubt you again River. I owe you…big."

River grinned

"Don't think I won't collect" she teased as both Rick and Michonne laughed. "OK, I gotta go get my buddy his popsicle. I'll see you guys later" River said once again heading towards the house.

Later that evening Daryl and River sat by Logan's bed watching the little boy sleep. Pulling River into his lap, he kissed her softly saying

"You have no idea how glad I am you found him and was able to save him. I owe you so much River"

River shook her head.

"No, you don't owe me anything. I love him just as much as I love you and Hunter and Cheri. I would do anything for any of you" River said resting her head on his shoulder.

Daryl tightened his arms around her still watching Logan.

"Daryl?" River began "Logan seems to be out of the woods and I really need to go after Jade. I think I'll leave in the morning. She shouldn't be too hard to track, she was easy enough the first time."

Daryl nodded.

"Yeah…sounds good" he said softly. "But you're not going alone. Doc said he should be able to leave tomorrow so I'm going with you, no arguments. I know Logan will be fresh out of the hospital but he'll be good at Rick and Michonne's plus I don't think Hunter will leave his side for the next month. I owe that bitch and I plan on delivering." Daryl growled as River stared at him.

Nodding her head she agreed.

"OK, well I'm going to head home and back us a bag. I'll get a few hours of sleep and then I'll come back and relieve you so you can get a little shut eye as well."

Daryl nodded kissing her softly then turning back to watch Logan.

River found Daryl's orange backpack and packed clothes, toiletries and other odds and ends. Happy with what she had packed, she sat down with her knife and began sharpening it, thinking about everything Daryl had said.

She knew he had meant it and wanted to be the one to kill Jade however, River couldn't help as a feeling of rage came over her hoping she would be the one that would end that filthy whore's life.


	15. War Path

River stared at the three sad faces that stared back at her and Daryl.

 

"But I don't want you to go" pouted Logan who was settled on the couch after leaving the infirmary

 

"I know sweetie but we have to do this, what Jade did was very bad and we need to go make sure she never does it again." River said softly, kissing his forehead

 

"OK" Logan said softly "Will you be home soon?"

 

"Absolutely" Daryl said sitting down next to him and pulling him into his arms "you kids are the most important people in the world to me and it's my job to make sure you're all safe and that bad people can't hurt you anymore. As soon as we find her and make sure she can't do this again, we'll come right back home"

 

Watching all three long faces nod, Daryl and River hugged and kissed them all and walked quickly towards the door before they could change their mind. Hugging Rick and Michonne on the front porch, they made their way to Daryl's bike. Attaching their gear, Daryl slid on the bike and started it as River got on behind him and slipped her arms around his waist as they took off through the gates in search of Jade.

Driving down the back roads turning where River told him to as they finally came upon the dirt road River had found Jade’s car parked. Slowing as they approached the disabled car, Daryl shut off the bike and put down the kickstand as they both slid off the bike. River watched Daryl walk around the car then look at her

“You did really good thinking to disable this vehicle River” he said softly giving her a quick kiss  
“Now show me where she had Logan and where she ran from”

River walked along with Daryl who pushed his bike down the path to the lake. Showing him where Jade had attempted to drown Logan and then where Jade had ran, Daryl carefully scanned the grass and earth.

“There’s definitely a trail, we should be able to follow her no problem” Daryl said walking slowly as he followed the footsteps

“What do you want to do with the bike?” River asked

Daryl stared at the bike then at River.

“We’ll probably have better luck tracking her on foot. Let’s hide the bike and come back for it later” Daryl said, picking up the bike and pushing it towards the thick woods.

Hiding it under some brush, Daryl was satisfied it wouldn’t be easily noticed. Grabbing River’s hand and kissing her softly, he stared into her eyes.

“Are you really ready for this? I mean things could get ugly….River if you want to go home-“

“Not on your life” River interrupted “I owe that bitch. I love Logan as if he was my own son and I will not rest until I see her dead. There’s no debating this Daryl”

Daryl nodded and kissed her again and began walking through the tall grass, looking for any footprints or signs she had been through this way. Coming to a clearing Daryl looked around as River watched him, then stooped inspecting the ground

“Did you cut her or anything?” Daryl asked quietly

River thought for a minute then nodded her head

“Yeah, when I came upon her and Logan at the lake, when she turned around I swiped my knife at her and caught her across the cheek with it. Why? Did you find blood?” River asked

Daryl nodded

“A little, she probably stopped here to try and get the bleeding to stop on her cheek” he said softly, looking around. “Here, she went this way”

River followed Daryl as he walked slowly, inspecting the ground and everything around him. River was so impressed. To be honest she didn’t see anything anymore and assumed they had lost her trail but Daryl was ever persistent and followed some sort of invisible path. Walking through a stretch of woods, Daryl slowed and then stopped looking around, cocking his head to the side.

“You hear that?” he whispered

River stared at him and at first didn’t hear anything until she really listened and then heard it too.

“What is that?” she whispered

Daryl shook his head

“Not sure….stay close, we may need to get out of here in a hurry” He whispered grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

River nodded and got her knife out and followed closely behind Daryl as they crept closer towards the distant sounds. Getting closer, River grabbed the back of Daryl’s shirt and tugged softly. Watching him turn around, she nodded to her left and then her right. Daryl looked and saw the same as she, walkers following the sounds just like they were. Putting his finger to his lips, telling to be extra quiet, they followed the walkers until the herd became too thick and it was too dangerous to do so. Stopping and pointing up, Daryl made a cradle with his hands and hoisted her up onto a low hanging branch until she could pull herself up. Climbing up further, they both went as high as they could then looked out across the branches

“Holy shit” Daryl whispered

River nodded unable to speak seeing the horrific scene below and in front of them. There had to be 3,000 walkers heading for a large crevice in the earth all being drawn by a low humming sound that was being produced by some sort of machine. Seeing the men positioned on the other side of the hole in the ground, River’s eyes widened as she tugged on Daryl’s shirt again. Looking at her he leaned over so she could whisper in his ear

“Those men…..one of them was with the group that kidnapped Aaron and I” she whispered softly

Daryl stared at her for a moment then nodded his head turning back to look at the men. Watching them turn off the machine and seeing the last of the walkers drop into the crevice, River and Daryl were stunned as they watched another man back up a truck and begin loading the dead into the back of the large truck. Filling one and then driving it away, they watched as a second truck pulled back and then the men again help herd the dead inside. Finally loading the last walker, Daryl and River watched as all the men climbed into a vehicle and drive away leaving them completely shocked. Shimming back down the tree and back on the ground, Daryl looked around and then up at the sky.

“We’re gonna have to find a place to bunk for the night, we only have like an hour left of daylight. When we were in the tree I noticed a small abandoned town just west of us. Let’s go check it out and see if there’s some place we can find a little shelter. Just a few too many walkers around this area for us to get any rest” Daryl said quietly

River nodded and followed him quietly through the woods, avoiding the walkers and trying not to draw any attention to themselves. Hiding under the cover of twilight, Daryl and River slipped into the abandoned town and then into one of the buildings. Climbing a few levels of stairs, Daryl cautioned her as he opened the door and checked the hallway. Walking quietly through the darkness, Daryl tried a door handle and watched it click open. Poking his head in and doing a sweep with his crossbow, they entered the room and inspected every corner and hidden crevice.

“I think this will work” Daryl said quietly, looking out the window

River sighed and put her bag down on the floor and began pulling their sleeping bags out. Arranging everything on the floor, she then began to pull out the bags of dried berries and nuts and jerky she had packed for their trip. Throwing Daryl some as he still stared out the window, River sat back and munched on their dinner in her makeshift camp. Daryl turned and stared at her as she ate quietly and stared off into space. He knew she was blaming herself again, hell he had been blaming himself ever since it all started. Setting his crossbow down, he walked over and stretched out on the sleeping bag, putting his head in her lap.

“River, you know none of this is your fault” Daryl said softly, staring into her eyes

River nodded slowly

“I know…I mean I know I did the right thing letting her go and saving Logan, I just wish….” River trailed off thinking again

“If there’s anyone to blame, it’s me. I should have never brought her to Alexandria” Daryl said bitterly

“There’s no way you could have known she would end up being like this Daryl. Listen we both just need to stop and concentrate on finding her” River said pointedly

Daryl nodded, grabbing her hand and kissing it.

“C’mere” he said softly, patting the sleeping bag.

River moved down onto her back and stretched out, snuggling up next to Daryl. Feeling his arms around her and his lips kiss her softly, she wrapped her own arms around him and held him tight.

“What do you think they were doing with all of those walkers?” River asked as Daryl caressed her back with his hand

“I was just thinking about that too” he said softly “The only thing I can think of is that they’re using them as some sort of a weapon. Why else would you need that many walkers?”

River nodded

“I figured that too. Makes me wonder if they’re the ones that unleashed that herd that tore down the walls at the other settlement….I mean they came out of nowhere” River said thinking

“It’s possible” Daryl said softly, bringing her mouth to his and kissing her deeply  
Sighing softly, River kissed him back as his hands began to roam her body

“I missed you” he whispered moving his lips to her neck

“I missed you too” she whispered and began unbuckling his pants.

Stopping abruptly, they stared at each other with wide eyes hearing soft voices from outside. Scrambling to the window and peeking out, Daryl and River were both stunned to see Jade walking between two men laughing and flirting for all she was worth.

“That little….” River growled, grabbing her bag and shoving her sleeping bag back in

“River wait, don’t go all half cocked. Let’s hurry and follow them but keep a safe distance, the men she was with were heavily armed. We have to be smart about this” Daryl whispered fiercely

River nodded and continued to shove their stuff back into the bags. Following Daryl quickly back through the building, and then outside, they slipped between the buildings and hid among the shadows. River and Daryl followed the trio until the entered into another building on the other side of the small town. Looking at each other, River and Daryl slipped quietly through the doors, pressing themselves against the wall trying to remain unseen. Hearing voices coming from another section, Daryl and River crept their way to the room and sat and listened.

“Yeah, those assholes won’t know what hit them. I can’t believe they’d kick a perty thing like you out” said one of the men

“I know right?” giggled Jade “Bad enough that bitch stole my boyfriend but now she’s blaming me for the death of his son and the whole town turned on me!”

“Aint no way a sweet little thing like you could do something like that” said a different man

“I didn’t” said a pouty Jade

“We believe you princess, which is why we’re going to make that town pay for hurting you. What did you say it was called again? Alexander or something?” asked the one man

“Alexandria” Jade said happily “I hope you’ll let me be there when you guys release all those dead ones on them”

River’s anger was on full boil and ready to bubble over. Feeling Daryl’s hand on her arm, she knew she had to remain cool but the itch to stab that bitch with her knife burned within her something fierce. Feeling Daryl’s hand pull her back down the hall, she followed him quietly going over everything in her head. She knew they had to get back to Alexandria immediately to warn Rick and the others, but she wanted to stab Jade so badly and now it would have to wait, again.

Getting close to the door, River was mortified as her toe caught on something in the dark and sent a loud crash echoing through the hall. Looking at Daryl in a panic, she looked behind her and then back to him.

“GO! Go warn them Daryl! I’ll be fine, your kids need you and you can’t be caught by these guys…GO!!!” she whispered desperately and shoved him out the door.

“WHO’S DOWN THERE?!?” Yelled a pair of voices

River held up her hands in surrender.

“I think I’m lost” she said quietly

“Oh she’s not lost” said a snide voice coming up from behind the men “That’s the bitch that stole my boyfriend and killed his son and is trying to blame me”

“You’re wrong Jade, Logan didn’t die…I saved him. I can prove it” River said calmly staring at the men

“She’s just trying to lure you into a trap. She’s a first class liar, this one” Jade scoffed. “Just shoot her already”

The two men looked at each other and then at River

“Alright, come with us, we’re going to let Mac and big Jim sort this out…they don’t like us killing unless they say so” said one of the men and grabbed River and began pulling her back down the hallway.

Daryl watched in horror and complete helplessness as he watched them drag River back down the hallway. Turning on his heel, he ran as fast as he could through the dark to try and get back to his bike. Navigating the woods and walkers, he finally came to the clearing and found his bike where he left it, wedged under the brush. Picking it up and starting it, Daryl took off like a rocket, heading straight for Alexandria.

“LET ME IN!!!” Daryl screamed as he got to the gate

“Hold on partner” Abraham yelled back, trying to open the gate as fast as he could. “What’s going on?”

Abraham’s words trailed off as he watched Daryl go screaming through the gate, flying towards Rick and Michonne’s

“RICK! RICK!” Daryl screamed getting off his bike as fast as he could

Running up the stairs and pounding on the door, Daryl was soon greeted by a sleepy-eyed Rick and Michonne. Snapping to attention immediately after seeing Daryl’s panic, Rick opened the door and ushered Daryl in

“What’s going on Daryl?” Rick said clearly concerned

“River…they have her. We were tracking Jade and found her but she was with these two guys. We followed them to this building but had to leave until something got knocked over and they discovered we….she was there. She pushed me out the door and made me leave her so they would think she was alone. Rick, they have her” Daryl said in a broken voice

“Alright, let me gear up and grab a few more people and we’ll go get her back” Rick said determined

Daryl stared at him.

“It’s not that simple Rick, there’s more.” He said softly “When we were tracking Jade, River and I heard this sound and started following it, along with a lot of walkers. We climbed a tree to see if we could figure out where it was coming from and we watched as all these walkers were falling into this large hole and man I’m telling you, there were thousands of them. Anyway, then we watched as they started loading them into trucks. We both figured they were using them as some sort of weapon and wondered if they were the ones that unleashed all those walkers on the other settlement. Anyway, after they packed them into the trucks and left, we decided to lay low for the night and found a small town to the west and decided to stay there. After we got our camp set up in one of the buildings, we heard voices outside and saw Jade with two others guys walking through the town. We followed them and that’s when everything happened. But before it did, we heard them talking about using the herd of walkers on Alexandria. Jade has them believing that River killed Logan and blamed it on her and so you kicked her out. They’re planning on hitting Alexandria hard”

Rick stared at Daryl and then felt Michonne’s soft hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know what to do Rick. I have to keep my kids safe and you need people here to do that, but I can’t lose her too….I can’t” Daryl said as his voice cracked from trying to hold back the tears.

“This is what we do….you, me and Aaron are going to go back to this town to see if we can find out where they took her and if we can find those trucks and disable them. Everyone else will stay here and on high alert. We’ll get her back Daryl. We will. Do me a favor and go grab Aaron and tell him what’s going on. I’m going to get dressed and go talk to Abraham and everyone else to make sure they’re ready for anything that may happen.” Rick said quietly

Daryl nodded and headed for the door.

Rick turned to Michonne and kissed her softly

“Do you want to pack up the kids and go to Hilltop? Might be safer for you there in case we fail and they do end up hitting this place” Rick asked softly

Michonne shook her head

“No Rick, I can’t imagine us being safer anywhere else. We’ll be fine, Hunter is a big help and we’ll make sure everyone stays safe. Just bring her back…Daryl is right he’d never be able to deal with another death of someone he loves and the kids…they can’t lose her either” Michonne said softly

Rick nodded and kissed her again before climbing the stairs to get himself ready for battle.

 

*****************************************************

River looked down at her tied hands and then slid a glance at the men that flanked each of her arms as they walked through the dark town. Turning down an alley, River took in her surroundings making mental notes where to hide and run once she broke free. Coming to a large opening in front of some sort of warehouse, River watched as the door slowly open revealing the trucks that were full of walkers and the men that had loaded them in there. Looking at each of them, her heart began to pound as she recognized the one man that she had not been able to kill when she and Aaron were kidnapped, the very same man who had shot her. Looking at the ground, praying he didn’t recognize her, River could feel her heart in her throat as she heard him speak.

“Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle….looky here big Jim, this is the bitch I was telling you about that killed all of my men in our camp.” The man said as River looked him coolly in the eyes as he walked closer to her “Oh sweetheart, you are a sight for sore eyes. I cannot wait to make you pay for what you did” he continued with his face just inches from hers

“Easy there Mac” another voice said

River watched as another man approached and looked at her like he would very much like to eat her.

“You’ll get her in due time, but first, you know I have to have my fun, and this one….this one looks like she’ll be loads of fun” the man grinned as River swallowed hard.

She had a horrible feeling that this man ‘big Jim’ would make Negan look like he had been a boy scout.

Oh God….hurry Daryl, she thought.


	16. Sacrafices

River sat with her back up against the brick wall of the building and chewed on her bottom lip, trying to figure a way out of this. They had unfortunately checked her better this time and had found the knife she had always kept hidden near her boot. Watching the men milling about, River observed all the exits and weak points of the building. Looking around for Jade, she was disappointed they had taken her away from here. Even if she was going to die today, which was a very good possibility, she still wanted to make sure she took her with her. She could kill Jade with her bare hands, she had no doubt at this point.

Watching two men approach her, she winced as they roughly grabbed her by her elbows and hoisted her up.

“Big Jim is ready fer ye” the one toothless wonder grinned as the other smiled just as broadly.

River’s heart pounded in her chest and her palms began to sweat as her nerves were raw with anxiety. She had been in this position before and it was a place she had never wanted to revisit again. She’d rather die. Walking through a doorway into a smaller room, River looked around and thought she might throw up. Surrounding her was a makeshift shrine of all the women that had come before her as locks of their hair hung from weathered Polaroid pictures of them.

“Smile”

River whipped around and blinked her eyes rapidly as a flash went off in her face

“ohhhh that’s going to be a good one” big Jim smiled, taking the picture and fanning himself with it.

River glared at him and looked for anything she could use to bash his brains in with.

“Easy my love” he smiled wickedly “your killer nature is showing. You know it’s a shame that we won’t be able to let you live after this. After hearing about your attack on Mac’s camp, I truly believe we could have been quite the pair. I’ve never met anyone as brutal as I am.”

River glared at him. She couldn’t believe such an ordinary looking guy could be so deranged. He was average height, average weight, dishwater blonde hair and brown eyes. Nothing horrible but nothing extraordinary either. With a name like “Big Jim” she expected either a very large man or something along those lines. Looking at him, she assumed he gave himself the name. Trying not to shudder in disgust, River kept her eyes straight ahead as he walked around her slowly, taking her in from every angle.

“You really are a beauty” big Jim said quietly “I’m really going to enjoy this. Now strip”

Tears sprang to River’s eyes. Daryl where are you? she thought. Unbuttoning her shirt slowly, River’s fingers shook with her anxiety as she slipped it from her shoulders. Unsnapping her jeans and sliding them over her hips, she stood there in her bra and panties, praying this was good enough.

“I didn’t say stop. All of it. Off.” commanded Big Jim.

 

River could feel the tears trail down her cheeks. Flashes of Negan raised their ugly head as she began to feel the same helplessness she had when she was with the saviors. Slipping off the rest of her clothes quickly, River tried covering herself with her hands the best she could. Jerking her head up as she watched him come closer, she took a step back praying she could find something, anything to defend herself. Wincing as he shoved her with his finger in her chest, her back was now against the wall. River gasped in shock as his meaty paw grabbed her arm and felt a cold, metallic clasp clamp down on her wrist. Feeling the other clamp close on her other wrist and then two more around her ankles, she felt like a wild animal caught in a cage. Watching him smile and then press himself against her, River did the only thing she could think of, she bit him as hard as she could. Tasting the blood on her lips and tongue and hearing him scream, she had a short-lived feeling of victory until the whole room began to spin and turn dark after feeling a thud on the side of her head. River’s head dipped unconscious, spilling her honey-colored hair over her body as Big Jim cursed a blue streak.

 

*************************************************************************

Daryl, Rick and Aaron walked quietly through the woods until they reached the beginning of the small town. Staying close to the buildings and making their way past, Daryl stopped at the building he had seen the men take Willow. Nodding to Rick and Aaron, Daryl ducked down an alley as they followed.

“This is where they took her” whispered Daryl

Rick nodded

“Alright, we’ll search here first but chances are they’ve moved her to where ever their main camp is. We’ll go in quick and quiet….stick together, I don’t want anyone left behind” Rick whispered back

Aaron and Daryl nodded and followed Rick as he moved back down the alley and into the doors of the building. Going from room to room Daryl’s heart fell realizing Rick was right once they cleared the building.

“They’re not here” Daryl said softly, trying to think where they could have gone.

“Did you hear them say anything when they were taking her?” Asked Aaron

Daryl shrugged

“Jade said she wanted them to shoot her but they didn’t seem too comfortable with that so one of the guys said that they would take her to someone called big Jim? Said he would decide what to do with her or something like that.” Daryl said softly

“Alright then….let’s go find Big Jim” Rick said softly

The trio of men made their way back out of the building and then their way through the small town checking every building they came across with no luck. Feeling his frustration mount, Daryl couldn’t help the feeling of helplessness not having a clue where they went. Walking past an alley, he stopped and backed up looking again as something caught his eye. Snapping his fingers, getting the attention of Rick and Aaron, the three walked quietly down the narrow passage as Daryl scanned the mud and dirt on the pavement seeing multiple footprints. Somebody had definitely been this way and it was quite recently. Coming closer to the end of the alley, Daryl stopped as he put his hand up to stop Aaron and Rick. Peering out he could see quite a bit activity with men bustling around, and the trucks, there were the trucks! Walking a few feet back from the entrance, Daryl squatted and spoke quietly

“The trucks River and I saw, the ones filled with walkers, they’re in there all lined up next to each other. I think we can get them with one shot…two at the most.”

Aaron and Rick nodded and helped Daryl get their gear ready. Going back to the mouth of the alley, Daryl knelt on one knee and positioned his grenade launcher on the center truck, hoping the explosion would disable the other trucks. Once the trucks were destroyed, there would still be the matter of getting through all the freed walkers and finding River, but with the chaos, they should be able to slip through unnoticed. Firing, Daryl watched as all six trucks burst into flames as the chaos he counted on erupted.

Quickly slipping through the men running , trying to get away from the explosion, Daryl watched as several men came running through a side door of some sort of warehouse. That had to be where she was. Motioning for Rick and Aaron to follow, he waiting until it was clear and sneaked into the door, praying he would find her.

 

*********************************************************

River’s eyes blinked open as her head pounded, still tasting the putrid blood in her mouth.  
“You’re really going to pay for that one” smiled big Jim, as he help her head up by her hair.  
River could see the bandage on his cheek, where she took the chunk of skin from him and couldn’t help feel the disappointment. If she would have waited, maybe she could have bit his neck and killed him. Watching him get out a roll of Duct tape, her anger was renewed as he slapped a piece over her mouth.

“That should keep those chompers from taking another piece of me” he laughed “I have to hand it to you, I’ve never had one that fought back like you, never been bit, that’s for sure. This should be some serious fun”

River stared at him in disgust and wanted to throw up as she felt him slide his hand over her body and in between her legs. Hearing a loud boom and the building shake, she stared at him as he stopped and whirled around. Buckling back his pants and slipping on his shirt, he went to the door and poked his head out and saw several men run past.

“What’s going on?” he barked

“Not sure big Jim, I think we’re under attack” one of the men said clearly frightened

Big Jim sighed and button his shirt, looking again at River.

“I’ll be back, don’t go anywhere” he smiled and then laughed hysterically at his own joke.

River scowled but was thrilled to see him leave through the door. Pulling as hard as she could on the clamps and chains, it was no use they were bolted to the bricks. Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes praying Daryl was the one who was attacking. Opening her eyes, hearing the door open, relief flooded her and them shame when she saw the look on Daryl’s face as he stared at her naked body.

“River?” his voice cracked.

River couldn’t help the tears that flowed from her eyes, seeing him.

“Oh God River, what did he do?” Daryl whispered, running into the room, trying to shield her body with his own.

“Nothing, at least not yet. He was about to until the explosion…was that you?” she whispered

Daryl nodded

“Rick and Aaron are with me, they’re checking the other rooms. I need to get you out of here” he said staring at the chains bolted to the walls “Maybe Rick or Aaron will have an idea”

“Daryl” River whispered horrified “I’m not trying to be a pain but I really don’t want them to see me like this” she pleaded

Daryl nodded and looked around. Walking over to a cot, he ripped the thin blanket off and wrapped it around her like a bath towel would and then tucked the corner in. Looking deep into her eyes, he kissed her softly

“I’m going to get you out of here” he said softly

River nodded her head

“I know you will” she whispered

Hearing the door open, Daryl whirled around and raised his gun and fired, putting a bullet between big Jim’s eyes. Walking over making sure he was dead, Daryl began going through his pockets.

“I know that probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, not getting the key first but he couldn’t live one more second, not after doing this to you.” Daryl said gruffly then gave a small smile as he fished a key out of Jim’s pocket.

Quickly unlocking River’s clasps, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him quickly

“My clothes, they’re right there” River pointed at the pile of clothes next to the cot.

Grabbing them, River dressed quickly and then hugged him again.

“I’m sorry I can’t stop hugging you…I just……have I told you thank you and that I love you?” River said softly

Daryl grinned and hugged her back, giving her a quick kiss

“No, not today at least but let’s find Rick and Aaron and get out of here and you can tell me and hug me all you want” he smiled softly

“Wait Daryl….Jade is still here somewhere. I can’t leave knowing she’s still alive” River insisted

Daryl sighed and stared at her.

“River, my first priority is to get you out of here alive. After you were taken it hit me so hard how there is no way on this earth I could lose you and be OK. You mean as much to me at Raven did and I cannot lose you, my kids can’t lose you. If we see Jade on the way out, then I’ll put a bullet between her eyes, but this revenge is over. You mean more to me than killing Jade ever would.” Daryl said softly staring into her eyes.

River nodded

“I know…I’m sorry. I let my need for revenge put us in danger again” she said softly

“No, that’s not it at all. I was right there with you wanting her dead but it took for me to almost lose you to realize that sometimes you just have to let it go and keep the ones you love close to you. We need to go home and be with the kids, be a family. I still want her dead, but it’s going to have to be up to karma to decide that.” He said kissing her sweetly “C’mon, let’s go home.”  
River nodded and held Daryl’s hand as they walked through the door. Thankfully seeing Rick and Aaron as soon as they left, they began making their way quietly back outside.

“Do you still have your knife or anything?” Daryl whispered

River shook her head

“No, they took everything from me” she whispered back

“Stay close, I’ll cover you” Daryl said grabbing her hand again

River stuck to Daryl like his shadow as the four of them slipped back outside among the chaos of the men trying to fight the inflamed walkers from the truck. Weaving in and out of structures that filled the area, River breathed a sigh of relief seeing the alley close that they needed to go through to get back to the small town. Getting closer, River squeezed Daryl’s hand happy to almost be out of there.

“Where do you think you’re going bitch?”

Daryl and River whirled around to see Jade step out from behind one of the structures with a gun trained on River.

“Don’t be stupid Jade, you shoot her and we’ll kill you instantly. Get out of here…run. We’re done chasing you” Daryl said slowly

“You’re going to kill me anyway, might as well take her with me” Jade said bitterly

“Don’t Jade” Rick said raising his gun pointing at her

Daryl watched in slow motion as Jade pulled the trigger as a blast of fire shot from the barrel

“NO!” he screamed and went to jump in front of her but was knocked out of the way by Aaron

River, Daryl and Rick stared stunned as Aaron lay on the ground in front of them with a gaping chest wound. Lifting his gun, Rick stormed over to Jade and pulled the trigger several times killing her instantly.

“Oh God Aaron, hang on, we’ll get you back home…why did you? Damn it Aaron!” River cried trying to put pressure on his wound

“R-River…you s-saved my life…..had to return the favor….take care of D-D-Daryl…kids” he said softly

“C’mon buddy, stay with us” Daryl pleaded

Rick, Daryl and River watched Aaron take his last dying breath as they stood in shock and devastation. River’s shoulders shook with sobs as the man she once hated turned out to be the one that would be her champion when it came to Daryl and the town.

“We can’t leave him here” she whispered through her tears

Daryl and Rick looked at each other and then each grabbed under each of his arms and began making their way again back to the alley. Dragging him through the alley and back to the small town, they stopped only once finding a small hardware type store and were able to find a tarp and shovels. Continuing on through the woods, they stopped briefly and began digging a grave for their friend.

Staring at the mound of dirt after burying him, Rick spoke softly

“He thought the world of you River. I know at first he had his issues with you but after you saved his life and he saw you for who you really are, you could do no wrong. I have no doubt he was happy to save your life and to make sure that you and Daryl stay together for those kids.”

River nodded, trying to control her tears.

“He gave me a chance when nobody else would….he also came to realize that I was right for Daryl and did everything he could think of to make sure we ended up together. I owed him so much” River whispered.

Daryl stood there staring at the dirt as the tears slid slowly down his cheeks.

“He was the first one to really make me feel welcome in Alexandria, he asked me to help him recruit and that meant the world to me. He always believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. He was one of my best friends and now knowing he sacrificed his life to save mine and to keep me with my family…I’ll never forget you Aaron. Never” Daryl whispered

The three walked back slowly through the woods and then to Aaron’s car that they had left on the side of the road. River curled up next to Daryl and wrapped him in her arms as they both grieved and took comfort in each other. Pulling back into Alexandria, they were greeted with happy faces that soon turned solemn after hearing the news of Aaron. River watched as Hunter, Cheri and Logan stepped from Rick and Michonne’s house and ran like the wind to them. Stooping down and throwing her arms around all three, she cried tears of joy and tears of sadness.

She was home, finally.

Home for good.

*******************************************  
“OK, you ready River? Give me one last push” said the doctor

River looked at Daryl and groaned, so very tired

“C’mon sweetheart, you can do this” Daryl coaxed

River mustered up all the strength she had left and pushed as hard as she could. Hearing a baby cry and seeing tears of happiness in Daryl’s eyes, she knew it was over, she had done it.

“Meet your new baby daughter” the doctor smiled laying the tiny infant on River’s chest.

River felt her own tears gather in her eyes as she looked at the perfect little girl that wrapped her tiny hand around her finger.

“Hello beautiful” River cried “I’m your mommy”

Daryl kissed her tenderly and then kissed the top of his baby’s head.

“Hi sweet baby girl, I’m your dad. You have a couple of brothers and a sister that are dying to meet you too” Daryl grinned.

Daryl and River lay there staring at her for awhile talking softly.

“So did we decide on a name yet?” asked the doctor, taking the baby back to finish cleaning her up and swaddling her in a blanket.

River and Daryl stared at each other and then at the doctor as he once again placed the tiny girl on River’s chest.

“We have” Daryl said softly

 

“Her name is Erin”

The end


End file.
